# Best Facebook Status Updates?



## Jordo (Mar 31, 2009)

This website is awesome for facebook funny statuses 
http://www.lamebook.com/


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## Fooze (Jul 17, 2008)

My two finest:



> Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?





> desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.


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## Blasko (Jul 31, 2006)

To everyone who's got a fucking problem with Cherese, you have a fucking problem with me. Everyone cut the fucking bullshit, or I'm going to start deleting people. Face the fucking fact that we're together, and whatever you think of it is just unwanted comments won't change anything. If you've ...got a problem with it, and you don't think you can shape up and act in a mature way about it, let me know so I can delete you

INTERNET RELATIONSHIPS ARE SERIOUS.


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## HoMiCiDaL26 (Jul 20, 2009)

Someone from WrestlingForum? Bruiser Blasko? Lol.


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## Near™ (Jun 20, 2007)

We should definitely include Tweets in this.

There aren't any good ones on my timeline right now, but pornstars 'live-tweeting' during shoots can be absolutely hilarious.


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## HoMiCiDaL26 (Jul 20, 2009)

Near said:


> We should definitely include Tweets in this.
> 
> There aren't any good ones on my timeline right now, but pornstars 'live-tweeting' during shoots can be absolutely hilarious.


Link plz.


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## Rush (May 1, 2007)

Near said:


> We should definitely include Tweets in this.
> 
> There aren't any good ones on my timeline right now, but pornstars 'live-tweeting' during shoots can be absolutely hilarious.


bree olsen is gold when it comes to amusing tweets.

mma artists can be pretty awesome on twitter as well, Jason Miller in particular.


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## HeatWave (Jun 20, 2003)

> These n****s think they the shit and I ain't even farted yet!





> My Smell Is CONSISTENTLY & OVER POPULATED! What the F**K is your SMELL???





> One of my best friends from high school is having his 1st child, a girl.he is going to make an AMAZING DADDY.I LOVE YOU STEVE!





> attention bums of columbus: i do not feel bad for you if you can walk to the corner and stand you can walk to mc donalds to get an app so dont give me the sad face anymore lol





> Im thinkn...men look at women like apples on a tree....instead of climbin to the top to get the fresh ripe ones...they settle 4 the rotten ones at the bottom cuz they easier to get to. work harder fellas cuz the reward is much greater! stop settling


and the responses



> some people just take a bite out of the good part, throw it to the ground, and keep climbin lmfao





> what happens when you take all that time climbing to the top and theres either no more good ones up there left or they either got fruit flies surronding them then what





> "if your not tryin to fuck me, then fuck you!!" -courtney. all the reason why i love her. but on a serious note, did i punch a midget last night>?


and the response



> Let me just tell you that you and I should not party together. Evidently.. after we took 15 shots a piece, you tried to fight that skinny **** and was drug out by TJ, sometime before I proceeded to vomit on my boots, I ran around telling everyone that you punched a midget and got thrown out. Let me apologize. But damn, Im fucking hilarious wasted... Read More. Whats even funnier is that I didnt know it was me who spread the rumor so Thacker called me today to ask if it really happened, to which I had no idea. hahahahah FUCK. Lets do it again next week.



why am I friends with these ppl? I HAVE NO CLUE!!!


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## God™ (May 26, 2008)

> # took a belt to me Pissed in my mouth Made me lick his ass and fucked me for hours I have very little memory of it but enough 2 know its true
> 3:03 PM Nov 3rd from Tweetie
> 
> # I got drunk last night here at my house with a guy and blacked out. He took advantage of me hard core.
> 3:01 PM Nov 3rd from Tweetie


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## Boss Monster (Feb 19, 2006)

> :I wonder are penis pumps any good?


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## V1 Dante (Mar 28, 2009)

Someone wrote "I love MILF's and the guys mom wrote back saying I hope im still your favorite MILF.


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## RatedRKO31 (Aug 25, 2009)

Well since I'm in New York... everyone has as their status about the Yankees winning. So someone decided to write as their status

"Facebook is going to overload.... shut up already" I dunno I thought it was a bit funny


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## Jordo (Mar 31, 2009)

V1 Dante said:


> Someone wrote "I love MILF's and the guys mom wrote back saying I hope im still your favorite MILF.


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## V1 Dante (Mar 28, 2009)

^^^^^^^^ Thats the one lol.


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## breaksilence (Dec 20, 2008)

Jordo said:


>


:lmao


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## Sickburn (Feb 12, 2009)

last comment is a pisser.


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## DH (Sep 16, 2007)

> I MET JUSTIN BIEBER TODAY!!!!


..... Great?


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## Cowie (Sep 30, 2002)

One of our members no doubt


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## MysticRVD (Jan 30, 2006)

^ Makes me embarassed to be a wrestling fan lol. What a ******


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## ~Humanity~ (Jul 23, 2007)

^^How does that make him a *****?

Best facebook status updates are usually smart ass insults but don't have anything.


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## Grubbs89 (Apr 18, 2008)

TH1 said:


> ^^How does that make him a *****?
> 
> Best facebook status updates are usually smart ass insults but don't have anything.


the whole " i have a deep connection with wwe "

what a freak show


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## valentinedivine (Jun 1, 2008)

Sickburn said:


> last comment is a pisser.


God, that boy needs a slap! Haha. If i were his mother i'd have posted an eviction notice on his fb. Tell him to gtfo and then he'd appreciate what he had at home. Teenagers, hah!


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## azza (Oct 6, 2006)

MysticRVD said:


> ^ Makes me embarassed to be a wrestling fan lol. What a ******


Seriously dude, what is the point of taking a cheap shot at someone you don't know?


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## seancarleton77 (Jul 4, 2006)

My facebook status blows these out of the water!


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## SenorShocker (Mar 31, 2008)

This one almost killed me.


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## SenorShocker (Mar 31, 2008)

This one too. This site is a gold mine.


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## seancarleton77 (Jul 4, 2006)

valentinedivine said:


> God, that boy needs a slap! Haha. If i were his mother i'd have posted an eviction notice on his fb. Tell him to gtfo and then he'd appreciate what he had at home. Teenagers, hah!


The Mum own'd that kid and he had it coming, I was paying for everything since 15 while I was living with my Mum and I hardly ever complain because I know it's not an easy act raising hellion punks.


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## Stone Cold 4life (Dec 17, 2008)

:lmao


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## SenorShocker (Mar 31, 2008)

I was the same way. I can't understand how you can be so young and have such an attitude.


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## The_Great_One_316 (Jan 21, 2007)

Holy shit those are hilarious! I think I will sign up for Facebook just to search for these things.


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## SenorShocker (Mar 31, 2008)

I love this website so much.


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## Cowie (Sep 30, 2002)

seancarleton77 said:


> My facebook status blows these out of the water!


Your post is worthless without screencaps.


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## seancarleton77 (Jul 4, 2006)

Cowie said:


> Your post is worthless without screencaps.


Add me and cap them yourself if you want, I'm usually either dark or silly and my response tend to be better, I'm a comeback guy.


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## Deadman™ (Feb 9, 2004)

:lmao


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## skullcandy365 (Aug 21, 2009)

dont see that many funny ones on mine..prob cuz I dont use twitter and my facebook yeah not much on there lol. only one i found were a few like this..

Just took another shit...thought I should let everyone know. 3rd one today!!!


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## seancarleton77 (Jul 4, 2006)

This one is the best I've seen as cruel as it is.


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## Jordo (Mar 31, 2009)




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## Stratus (Jan 22, 2004)

My Cousin is Hysterical :lmao


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## tombo2326 (Apr 1, 2007)




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