# ZOMBO Reviews - The Official Thread



## Captain Edd (Dec 14, 2011)

Its just not the same....


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## Obfuscation (Apr 15, 2006)

It's better.


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## Flux (Sep 4, 2010)

TSE was a weirdo


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## Deck The Halls With Funes Mori (May 13, 2012)

Wonderful  

A review on HULL would be splendid :mark:


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## Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jan 28, 2010)

Ooh, I'd love to review Hull, but there should be a match on TDL XI that I'm partaking in involving Hull directly, and I'd hate to reveal anything too detailed just yet. In time, however, I'll be happy to.


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## Obfuscation (Apr 15, 2006)

Review Power Metal albums.


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## Deck The Halls With Funes Mori (May 13, 2012)

Review me pls.


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## Stipe Tapped (Jun 21, 2013)

You'll never get over in the same way as TSE.


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## Obfuscation (Apr 15, 2006)

non-premiums are clinging to the past.


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## Hamada (Aug 17, 2008)

REVIEW CANADA.


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## The Lady Killer (Oct 20, 2006)

Magic said:


> Review me pls.


:kobe:kobe2:kobe3:kobe4:kobe5:kobe6:kobe7:kobe8:kobe9

there. done.



and ZOMBO~!


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## Stipe Tapped (Jun 21, 2013)

Hayley's Xmas Ecstasy said:


> non-premiums are clinging to the past.


We prefer the term "pauper."


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## Vic (Jan 2, 2010)

I'd like a review of myself as well, results shall be interesting considering what I've posted and said in cat lately.


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## Skins (Jan 3, 2012)

:mark: :mark: this thread


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## Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jan 28, 2010)

JaffaTheHeel said:


> You'll never get over in the same way as TSE.


I'm not trying to, I'm already quite established here.












Hayley's Xmas Ecstasy said:


> Review Power Metal albums.


A little generic for this thread, unless you want me to open an entirely new thread for that which, quite frankly, I wouldn't be the best choice for. My knowledge is fairly limited. 



Magic said:


> Review me pls.


The user currently-named Magic has gone by many names. ROUSEY. Mozza. McFly. Mozza. Overall, he is a LEGIT poster on WrestlingForum, and is one of the people that makes the football (the non-American version) threads so damn special. 

Mozza takes some knocks for his love of refrigerating chocolate. Personally, that makes for a fine summer snack, although it's not something I'd recommend doing on a regular basis. Mozza also takes some knocks due to the fact that his ma has taken plenty of HARD knocks in her day from the likes of :des 

All in all, a good guy who's quick to come up with a quip, enjoys trolling MAGIC, and likes his chocolate hard - the way his ma taught him. 

:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly / 5


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## The Lady Killer (Oct 20, 2006)

Yeah, yours makes a little more sense now that I know what I know. :side:


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## Trublez (Apr 10, 2013)

:ann1


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## Deck The Halls With Funes Mori (May 13, 2012)

Crying here mate. At both yours and TLK's reviews :lmao

ROUSEY! 

If it wasn't for the fact I'm keeping this name forever (KOFF MAGIC), I'd have that name so hard.

BTW, I give yer mar me hard white chocolate. x


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## DOPA (Jul 13, 2012)

Review Cody's obsession with Hayley Williams (and maybe CGM afterwards) .


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## Buttermaker (Sep 29, 2009)

You go you Shit Hawk ZOMBO!


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## Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jan 28, 2010)

Loic Remy's Big Fat Xmas Sack Surprise said:


> REVIEW CANADA.


Canada, at least the parts that I know and can speak to from first-hand experience, is nothing short of great. We don't really fight anyone here, people are generally pretty chill just trying to make a living and enjoy themselves while they're doing so. I have many friends who've gone "out west" (read: Alberta, British Columbia) and they enjoy how it's even MORE chill than it is here in Ontario. There's a Timmy's every kilometre or so, as per Canadian law (for more on Tim Horton's, please consult THIS review: http://www.wrestlingforum.com/27642505-post1.html).

If you like nature, there are vast expanses of Canadian wilderness to check out. If you like fishing, there's Great Lakes, ice fishing, and oceans on either side of the country. If you like urban sprawl, we have Toronto. If you like igloos, we have the Yukon territory. If you like hockey, we ARE HOCKEY. This country also brought Trailer Park Boys and Kenny vs. Spenny to the world. 

Not everything about Canada is cheery and happy though. We have a history of oppressing entire races of people, particularly the Aboriginals and Japanese-Canadians. The treatment, or rather the MIS-treatment of these peoples is a dark, dark spot on Canada's identity as an open-armed, peaceful and accepting nation. That, and Celine Dion. 

All in all, Canada is gonna Canada, happily America's silent little neighbour to the north. We have mayors like Rob Ford. We have Timbits that could feed the world ten times over. We created Wayne Gretzky. And Renee Paquette Young. Those two names right there are worth two Holly's out of five alone. Overall, Canada: 

:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly / 5



JOY!~ Stevenson said:


> Review Cody's obsession with Hayley Williams (and maybe CGM afterwards) .


In spite of my lack of knowledge around the band Paramore and its front-woman, Hayley Williams, Cody's obsession with her does not seem to be out of line with the mindsets of many other individuals out there. I mean, she's a 24 year old girl who is famous and certainly attractive. There are no shortage of fan sites out there dedicated to her, as well as more than a few tumblr feeds. 

There's nothing particularly wrong or offensive about a young man falling for a cute, famous girl, and I'm not one to judge a guy for his choice. Sometimes, it's refreshing when the non-pop-princess girls get this kind of attention. I mean, when I was in high school, Amy Lee from Evanescence just hit it big and guys revered her in a similar manner. I may or may not have (read: I did) have a thing for Cristina Scabbia of Lacuna Coil. Shit happens. 

So, accordingly, I grade Cody's obsession with Hayley Williams to be perfectly normal in the context of guys liking cute famous chicks. As such, it gets an average rating. 

:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly / 5


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## Hamada (Aug 17, 2008)

Jean Poutine, though? :draper2


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## obby (May 19, 2009)

Review this spider


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## Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jan 28, 2010)

Jolly obby said:


> Review this spider


Ugh, scary. Gross. Fucking hate spiders. Get that outta here.

:chrisholly / 5 (minimum rating)


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## Buttermaker (Sep 29, 2009)

What is interesting about Alberta and Saskatchewan is that especially in oil industry circles is it is such a collection of different people from all over Canada and it still manages to stay very chill. Even with all the Newfies running around.


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## Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jan 28, 2010)

Light The Lettuce Tree said:


> I'd like a review of myself as well, results shall be interesting considering what I've posted and said in cat lately.


I feel kinda shitty about this one, because I don't think I've had much interaction with you. I am, however, predisposed to thinking quite highly of most people I interact with on here. That puts you at a four to begin. 

I consulted the chatbox on this matter and received the following feedback: 



ALAN PARTRIDGE IN A PEAR TREE said:


> lutece is a gaming nerd and likes trannys


Gaming nerd gets you a point, but unfortunately, the alleged ****** love docks you two, so you're down to three. Accordingly, your rating is as follows below, but I am opening to revisit this review in the future pending some further interactions with you. 

:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly / 5



ALAN PARTRIDGE IN A PEAR TREE said:


> you need to review me and put me over big time, zombo


THE DARK ANDRE made the above request in the chatbox, so here we go.

I've come to know Andre quite well through our interactions in the football thread, the Debate League, and the chatbox generally. Our friendship was declared quite some time ago now, and it's been smooth-sailing since. There isn't an individual on the BLACK MARKET who can rotate smilies better than Andre, nor come up with the wonderful creations that lampoon our very own forum members. 

It was also ANDRE who introduced me to the wonderful football team of HULL CITY, also known as THE TIGERS. To be quite honest with you all, I didn't know what true love actually was until I found this team. The joy that Tom Huddlestone and Co. have brought me cannot be repaid through some mere review flattery, but please accept my eternal thanks for enlightening me to the wonderful team that plays in Kingston Upon Hull.

The lessons did not stop on the football pitch, however. I've learned more about other forum members, their respective ma's, world-class broadcasters like Des Lynam as well as world-class managers like Brendan Rodgers all thanks to my interactions with Andre. Listen up when he speaks, forum, and you could too.

A masterful debater, a judge who gives feedback longer than most essays, the unflappable leader of the bWo some dream I once had, and one of my blackest best friends (after Clique), I give THE DARK ANDRE nothing short of:

:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly / 5


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## Buttermaker (Sep 29, 2009)

Review your truly Zombo.


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## STEVALD (Oct 11, 2011)

*Review me pls.*


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## Vic (Jan 2, 2010)

Keibler Elf said:


> I feel kinda shitty about this one, because I don't think I've had much interaction with you. I am, however, predisposed to thinking quite highly of most people I interact with on here. That puts you at a four to begin.
> 
> I consulted the chatbox on this matter and received the following feedback:
> 
> ...



Trannies ain't for everybody bro :draper2.


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## CHAMPviaDQ (Jun 19, 2012)

Review my smiley, you fucky. :chrisholly


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## Gretchen (Jun 17, 2013)

review would good would pls


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## Hollywood Hanoi (Mar 31, 2011)

Keibler Elf said:


> Ugh, scary. Gross. Fucking hate spiders. Get that outta here.
> 
> :chrisholly / 5 (minimum rating)


review this review, but using less words than you used in the original review


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## TAR (Jan 1, 2012)

review me pls :mark:


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## charlesxo (Jun 20, 2013)

Review TAR's location too.


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## Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jan 28, 2010)

Okay, I'm a little bit overwhelmed by the amount of individuals who want me to review them, personally. I mean, I don't really hate anyone on here, so you're all going to get in the range of 4 :chrisholly out of five, unless you lose marks for trannies or something. However, I'll do my best to keep up with the requests I received overnight. Here we go.



Spoiler: Spoiler for HollyWood Hanoi's request






Keibler Elf said:


> Ugh, scary. Gross. Fucking hate spiders. Get that outta here.
> 
> :chrisholly / 5 (minimum rating)





BIG MO's XXXmas Chatline said:


> review this review, but using less words than you used in the original review


Concise excellence. 

:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly / 5





Spoiler: Spoiler for Takers Revenge's request






Takers Revenge said:


> Review your truly Zombo.


Takers Revenge has been someone I've been able to relate to and bond with early on during my time here on WrestlingForum. A fellow Canadian, we share our love of Trailer Park boys through various quotes and gifs. Takers Revenge comes across as a laid back guy, and I can't think of really anything bad to say about him. I guess I'm not a fan of him listing the Red Sox and the Patriots as teams that he likes, but dammit is that ever redeemed by him listing Pearl Jam as a musical artist that he likes. 

Overall, there's only one thing left to say about Takers Revenge, who is 

A fuckin' shitty fuckin' trailer park supervisor who hangs around with a big-gutted drunk elf who thinks he's gettin' us thrown back in jail but he can't 'cause he's got no evidence and he's dumb as fuck, and he's got this other thing goin' on in his head that's tryin' to... twirly around and... fuckin' get... different... FUCK!




































/ 5





Spoiler: Spoiler for STEVIE SWAG'S request






JOLLY OL' ST. STEVIE said:


> Review me pls.


I've come to know Stevie Swag through interactions in the Debate League. I remember seeing his posts as CRIMSON a little while back, but as far as I'm concerned, he'll always be dear little Stevie to me. 

I thought he was a terribly arrogant ass at one point due to his early behaviour in the Debate League, but over time that impression has faded into one of respect and admiration. I look at Stevie now as a sassy, brash younger brother. Come here and let me tussle your hair.

But seriously, a guy who basically only comes on here nowadays for the Debate League gets my respect, because it is THE BEST THING GOIN' TODAY! :flair3 STEVIE SWAG, you get:




































/ 5





Spoiler: Spoiler for CHAMPviaDQ's request






CHAMPviaFESTIVUS said:


> Review my smiley, you fucky. :chrisholly


As the man who created my first wonderful sig, for which I am eternally grateful, I have very little to say negatively about any of your creations. THIS smiley, however, is special. 

Not only did you take the POSITIVE message spread by ositivity , but you infused it with one of the greatest wrestlers still walking the earth today. It's inspiring work, and I liken it to someone melding the Mona Lisa with the statue of David. Seriously, people are going to be studying this smiley for a millenia into the future; you're doing the lord's work here, CHAMP (if you believe into that kinda thing... if not, you're doing mankind's work). 

So, a humble, humble thank you for your creation, and the easiest rating I can make: 

:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly / 5





Spoiler: Spoiler for Rhodes_For_WHC's request






Santa For WHC said:


> review would good would pls


would good would is one of seabsseabsseabs funnier moments i've encountered on seabsseabsseabs forum. duo you agree? 

:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly / 5





Spoiler: Spoiler for TheAussieRocket's request]
[QUOTE="TheAussieKrisKringle, post: 27656497, member: 208887



review me pls :mark:[/QUOTE]

I've only recently begun interacting with TAR regularly in the chatbox, and like many others on here, have found these interactions to be nothing short of pleasant and refreshing. Living a world away in Australia, he's enlightened me to some Australian actresses who are more than easy on the eyes, so there's automatic respect for that. 

A brief glance at TAR's profile reveals musical interests that are also favourable with my own. Having seen Metallica and the Foo in concert, I can say that he's chosen two awesome live acts, as well as bands that were favourites of mine throughout various times in my life. I'll just assume Monkey Wrench is your favourite Foo song and Battery is your favourite Metallica song and we'll move swiftly into the phase of OMG BESTIEZ 5EVA. 

But don't just take my word that TAR is a good guy. As an INVESTIGATIVE JOURNALIST who takes his reviewing seriously, I hit the chatbox to interview TAR's countryman AwShit to get his opinion: 



> TAR? Carlton supporting cunt imo.


Due to that brief spat of hostility and brutal honesty, I must adjust my ranking appropriately. I still heart you though, TAR.

:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly / 5


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## TAR (Jan 1, 2012)

<3


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## charlesxo (Jun 20, 2013)

tl;dr tbh


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## sexytyrone97 (Apr 2, 2012)

Keibler Elf said:


> [spoiler="Spoiler for TheAussieRocket's request]
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Wasn't sure what to think until you got that bloke's word for it. (Y)


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## Pratchett (Jan 9, 2013)

That Tim Horton's review was better than I could have hoped for. In fact, I intend to try it this weekend since I plan on being up in that area to do some Christmas shopping. Thanks ZOMBO. You are an inspiration.


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## Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jan 28, 2010)

Le Père Noël said:


> Review TAR's location too.


MELBOURNE.

I've never been, so I'm doing some meticulous research on Wikipedia. It seems particularly picturesque, especially from the photos of the Melbourne Docklands looking across Victoria Harbour. 

Being in Australia, it's hot there when it's cold where I'm from. The toilets spin backwards. Due to the confusion this causes me (and keep in mind, dear reader, that these reviews are strictly from my personal perspective), I have no choice but to dock the city one rating. 

Aussie Rules Football and cricket are popular in Melbourne, so that's okay. I don't know anything about either sport, except that rugby can be incredibly violent and that cricket is extremely long. I'll go on the record now and declare that rugby to Australians is like hockey to Canadians. It just feels right. Due to my lack of overall knowledge on the city itself though, I will rely on a specially-gathered panel of experts who were the guys that happened to be in the chatbox when I began this review for further input. 

When asked about the city of Melbourne, noted Melbourne resident, The Aussie Rocket, stated: 



> "It's alright."


AlienBountyHunter gave his expert analysis, noting that: 



> "Their team is bad."


Finally, AwShit put the nail in Melbourne's coffin with his blunt assertion: 



> "Melbourne's fucking shithouse. Not enough shankings and deadly animals for my liking."


With this priceless input, as well as the confusion that Aussie rules toilet swirling causes me, I have no choice but to give a regrettable:

:chrisholly:chrisholly / 5


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## TAR (Jan 1, 2012)

You think Aussie Rules Football is Rugby!?

</3 :jose this review


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## charlesxo (Jun 20, 2013)

I lost it at that too :lmao


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## Klee (Oct 28, 2011)

I want ZOMBO to review my sex.


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## Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jan 28, 2010)

Aussie Rules Football isn't rugby?


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## sexytyrone97 (Apr 2, 2012)

Review yourself imo, Zombo. Should allow us readers to gain a deeper understanding of the great man behind the reviews. (Y)


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## Obfuscation (Apr 15, 2006)

review kiz to make up for no Power Metal plz


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## Kiz (Dec 2, 2006)

cody why are you obsessed with that kiz member.


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## STEVALD (Oct 11, 2011)

*ZOMBO <3*


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## Obfuscation (Apr 15, 2006)

can't explain it. there's a charm about kiz I love to hate.


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## Kiz (Dec 2, 2006)

i heard kiz is quite flattered by that


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## obby (May 19, 2009)

Review this smiley :dance


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## Obfuscation (Apr 15, 2006)

where is kiz


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## Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jan 28, 2010)

AwShit said:


> Review yourself imo, Zombo. Should allow us readers to gain a deeper understanding of the great man behind the reviews. (Y)


Alas, there is no "great" man behind the reviews. Just a man. I'm 28, married, Canadian, and I like wrestling. The Debate League is my favourite place on the forum. I enjoy reading and playing Starcraft in my down time at home, but I've learned that life kinda gets busier as you go so video games and general "relaxing" things are rare. I grew up loving many sports, but gravitated particularly to baseball and hockey. I went to university for way too damn long, but now it's behind me and I'm working somewhere that I really enjoy (and also enables me to visit this wonderful place each day). I have a pet dog.

I enjoy my interactions with damn near every one of you on here (there have been two people in total that I didn't like on this place: Shreddybrek, and some guy whose name I forget, but he kept making threads about how he did stuff with his pet dog when he was young and it caused him enormous mental torment and guilt now.) (He was a terrible troll, and I'm thankful he's gone.) I enjoy coming on here and speaking with you all, my wrestling "family" daily. 

Since I agree with everything that I do, my rating is as follows: 

:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly / 5

---

I was also asked to review a rep from *AlienBountyHunter*. I received three images: 



Spoiler: Spoiler for rep from AlienBountyHunter]
[IMG]http://25.media.tumblr.com/e95101f6e755ae9e70ccf9178adf9733/tumblr_mxxa3xHKjx1qabe6do1_500.jpg[/IMG]
[IMG]http://i.imgur.com/ylId2PY.jpg[/IMG]
[IMG]http://i.imgur.com/WGKmPW3.gif[/IMG][/spoiler]
Now, the assessment will come in terms of the reps as an entire package, but it helps to deconstruct the importance of each image on its own first.
The first image, of the masked big sister (?) holding a naked baby doll atop a worn-down front porch is one that shocks. The image causes an immediate visceral sensation for the viewer, one that is meant to simultaneously unsettle and provoke thought. However, looking deeper into the image, one can find goodness in it too. The shoddy state that the door and surrounding area appear to be in implies that this is not a child of means. A mask and a doll may be her only toys. However, the fact that she is PLAYING with these toys reveals a sense of innate freedom (allowing one to be in the street, playing) and a sense of the child's imagination.
The second image simply provides good, practical advice. Don't shit in the shower, folks. It'll clog the drain, and no good will come of it. I think it makes sense that any individuals out there with young pranksters at home post a sign like this near their showers, just to ensure that the child knows what is right and wrong.
Lastly, we come to the dancing skeleton. Quite frankly, I wish he had a chair so I could just proclaim him to be "La Parka turned up to 11". The skeleton in the graveyard, two individual signs of death. As in image one, however, there is hope: we have the skeleton [I]dancing [/I]in the graveyard. Is this a symbol for overcoming death? Symbolic perhaps of happiness shining through despite the less than cheery surroundings? I believe it is.
These images as a whole represent good advice, which is to make the best of a shitty situation. Overall, I find the message very uplifting, and a pleasure to view on my CP.
:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly / 5
[QUOTE="Hayley's Xmas Ecstasy, post: 27674561, member: 137912



review kiz to make up for no Power Metal plz[/QUOTE]

Kiz is another member who I've grown fond of during the course of my interactions with him, usually in the chatbox. A poster who seems to have a wealth of football (the non-American kind) knowledge, Kiz is also one of the individuals who inspires me to make posts involving the words "imo" or "pls". (Sample post #1: kiz pls) (Sample post #2: imo)

As a supporter of HULL CITY, I can't say I'm overly proud of his affiliation with Manchester City, but band-wagoners will be band-wagoners I suppose. Either way, he's respected enough to be at a 5 points before I turn to my esteemed panel of experts. 

Kiz: i heard he's okay. i heard he's really cool

BULK: kiz is stupid. he has been since he was a baby

DwayneAustin: Kiz is okay, quite knowledgeable but i put that down to learning a lot from my posts. also the future of marketing is quite bright with him on board, i believe he is doing it in uni.
i'd like to retract my earlier statement regarding Kiz's knowledgeability, he spent half the season mocking a player who can smash in 40 yard freekicks.
actually, i don't wanna say Kiz isn't knowledgeable, as we are BEST FRIENDS.
he said so himself

HayleySabin: there's a charm about kiz I love to hate.

Due to Kiz's electric style of interacting with others, and his "sometimes can rub you the wrong way, but ain't going to change his unapologetic approach", I deem Kiz to be: 





























/ 5



Jolly obby said:


> Review this smiley :dance


I mean, it's okay. 

:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly / 5


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## Obfuscation (Apr 15, 2006)

that kiz charm worms its way into a positive review.

ABH gif review = GRAND


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## obby (May 19, 2009)

review your current computer


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## Kiz (Dec 2, 2006)

review kiz again


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## AlienBountyHunter (Jan 22, 2013)

bama That's some damn good work, Zombo. Though I had to tone down my traditionally grotesque rep due to this thread's clear PG rating, plus you insisted on no gifs of women's legs being chopped off (why?), you can't really go wrong with a dancing skeleton and a sign that forbids shitting in the shower.


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## Callisto (Aug 9, 2009)

Review poutine plz

And French Canadians. Don't be too hard on blarg now.


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## Obfuscation (Apr 15, 2006)

ABH's grotesque rep = :mark:


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## Skins (Jan 3, 2012)

remember our convo in the catbox ZOMBO, I would like to know which site out of the two you prefer ? :hbk2


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## Klee (Oct 28, 2011)

XOMBO? :jose


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## Ruth (Apr 18, 2010)

Review the pilot episode to Gravity Falls, 'Tourist Trapped'.


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## Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jan 28, 2010)

Jolly obby said:


> review your current computer


At home, I use a Lenovo laptop that's at least 3-4 years old now. Sucker has been banged and dropped more than Mozza's ma, but it still boots up on demand. The graphic card is dated, the RAM isn't the highest, but it's durable and reliable. I've gotten what I wanted out of it, and then some. For a gamer or a fan of high-end computers, this isn't anything near special. However, it's perfectly fine for me.

:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly / 5



TITUS BRAMBLE'S XMAS SURPRISE said:


> review kiz again


Upon further review, the review stands.





























/ 5



TehJerichoFan said:


> Review poutine plz
> 
> And French Canadians. Don't be too hard on blarg now.


As pro-Canadian as my reviews have been, many of you will be surprised to read that I actually DETEST poutine. I've never had a poutine that I enjoy. I'm not a fan of soggy fries. I'm not a fan of most gravy recipes. I've tried it several times over the years from different places, hoping to understand what the craze is. Each time, I walked away with a reaffirmation on my anti-poutine stance.

As for French-Canadians, I'm not too crazy about them, but blarg seems pretty decent throughout all my interactions with him. Also, French-Canadian girls... :banderas

That said, if Quebec ever got the green light to secede from Canada, I'd happily bid it good riddance. Thanks for forcing me to take 10 years of French classes throughout grade school and high school, all of which I forget now with the exception of watching TeleFrancais videos. 

Poutine: :chrisholly / 5

French-Canadians:














/ 5



RUDOLPH ST. SKINolaus said:


> remember our convo in the catbox ZOMBO, I would like to know which site out of the two you prefer ? :hbk2


I'll go with the one that began with an x and rhymed with videos, as opposed to the one that began with p and rhymed with ornhub. I think that the player loads faster. I guess this isn't really a review as much as it is a personal preference. Regardless: 

:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly / 5



Froodolf said:


> Review the pilot episode to Gravity Falls, 'Tourist Trapped'.


I'm going to use my reviewer discretion here and decline doing this. Sorry, Froot, you know I like you, but if I began going down the path of reviewing a bunch of TV shows I've never seen, I'd have no time left in my life.


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## Ruth (Apr 18, 2010)

My apologies for trying to take 20 entire minutes out of your ever-so-eventful day of making write-ups about random things.


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## Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jan 28, 2010)

Well, it's difficult to watch a TV show while at work with people milling about and whatnot. And once I'm home, I'm usually not on the site.


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## Timber Timbre (Aug 11, 2011)

Hayley's Xmas Ecstasy said:


> ABH's grotesque rep = :mark:



The milk one? 



TehJerichoFan said:


> Review poutine plz
> 
> And French Canadians. Don't be too hard on blarg now.





Keibler Elf said:


> As for French-Canadians, I'm not too crazy about them, but blarg seems pretty decent throughout all my interactions with him. Also, French-Canadian girls... :banderas
> 
> That said, if Quebec ever got the green light to secede from Canada, I'd happily bid it good riddance. Thanks for forcing me to take 10 years of French classes throughout grade school and high school, all of which I forget now with the exception of watching TeleFrancais videos.
> 
> Poutine: :chrisholly / 5


POUTINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :mark:


ZOMBO, review the 1995 Referendum's final 20 minutes (it's on Youtube), and review it in french plz. (Y)


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## Eduard Khil (Feb 13, 2012)

Review more Keibler please :lenny


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## Obfuscation (Apr 15, 2006)

Bah Humblarg_ said:


> The milk one?


Yep. so legit


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## Pratchett (Jan 9, 2013)

Bah Humblarg_ said:


> The milk one?


Received that one as well. Very inspirational. (Y)

And if not poutine, then what about chili cheese fries? Even though the fries can get soggy, you can't go wrong.


----------



## CHAMPviaDQ (Jun 19, 2012)

Keibler Elf said:


> Spoiler: Spoiler for CHAMPviaDQ's request
> 
> 
> 
> ...


----------



## Gretchen (Jun 17, 2013)

Keibler Elf said:


> Spoiler: Spoiler for Rhodes_For_WHC's request
> 
> 
> 
> ...


review this review pls


----------



## Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jan 28, 2010)

Bah Humblarg_ said:


> ZOMBO, review the 1995 Referendum's final 20 minutes (it's on Youtube), and review it in french plz. (Y)


C'était une bonne journée. Le résultat était bon. Il m'a fait plaisir. Aujourd'hui est ensoleillé. Google translate est mon ami. Je n'aime pas la poutine. J'ai beaucoup de respect pour Jean Chrétien.






















/ 5



Eduard Khil said:


> Review more Keibler please :lenny


This took me a good couple hours, checking out various pictures, gifs, and videos, but after a comprehensive review, I have no choice but to give Stacy a deserved

:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly / 5



The Hogfather said:


> And if not poutine, then what about chili cheese fries? Even though the fries can get soggy, you can't go wrong.


NOW we're talking. Although my GENERAL rule is that I don't like my fries soggy, there are certain exceptions. Chili cheese fries are absolutely one of these exceptions. I'm a big fan of chili, falling in love with it as a young child. I enjoy experimenting by making different variations of chili today (don't always go with the ground beef, kids. Chop up some chicken chunks in there every now and then to diversify your chili!). I use different beans, although if I had to give recommendations, I'd say that red kidney and pinto beans are my top two in a chili. A variety of vegetables can be added as well, although I prefer to skip the celery (a common ingredient) and add some carrot, garlic, onion, and hot pepper. In my last chili, I used a scotch bonnet supplemented by some jalapenos for flavour. If you want to keep the heat a little lower, I'd recommend a habanero or two to kick things up. 

Now, you're going to give me fries smothered in chili, with some cheese melting on top of that pile, creating a gooey smorgasbord of goodness? I'm 100% all in on that. As long as the chili's tasty, I have no issue mixing everything up and having a mashed up conglomeration of excellence. An unreserved

:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly / 5



SCOTTY PARKER DRUNK ON EGGNOG said:


> review your tdl record lel


My record after TDL IX sits at a seemingly uninspiring 3-4. However, an in-depth review will tell you that the numbers are not those of a sub-standard debater. A unanimous win in my fatal four-way debut against a group that included the esteemed Chain Gang Solider put me on the map. Later, a unanimous victory over Crusade and a 2-1 victory over the well-respective and competitive sami zayn (nee: greendayedgehead) returned me to a spot in the upper-midcard. The four matches that took place following my debut, however, were consecutive losses that would rattle a lesser man's confidence. 

Losing to Evolution, WOOLCOCK, and The Lady Killer in order in closely-contested, 1-2 matchups is nothing to be ashamed of. A different judge or a re-worded sentence could've turned the tide in any one of those matchups. I also wish to note that each man went on to win the championship immediately after defeating me. If one is going to lose, losing to champions by a 2-1 score is nothing to be ashamed of. If anything, it showed I could hang with the best.

Finally, there was a 2-on-2 tag match that happened that created an entire storyline between myself and TLK. We won't get into specifics, but his shoddy writing cost us a loss where I more than held my own against top-quality opponents we just lost to the better team that day. 

Overall, there's room to improve, and looking back at my first few debates, I can certainly say that I wouldn't be as confident today but for the lessons I learned in those losses. I'm happy with what I've done, even if the record doesn't exactly reflect it. 

:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly / 5


----------



## Pratchett (Jan 9, 2013)

Keibler Elf said:


> The Hogfather said:
> 
> 
> > And if not poutine, then what about chili cheese fries? Even though the fries can get soggy, you can't go wrong.
> ...


Your reviews are :homer
Damn WF and needing to spread rep before giving it to you again. I want to give it to you and keep on giving it to you.


----------



## TAR (Jan 1, 2012)

Review your reviews Zombo :mark:


----------



## DOPA (Jul 13, 2012)

review me plz .


----------



## Gretchen (Jun 17, 2013)

TheAussieKrisKringle said:


> Review your reviews Zombo :mark:


Already made this request, he does not wish to respond to it :no:


----------



## Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jan 28, 2010)

The Hogfather said:


> Your reviews are :homer
> Damn WF and needing to spread rep before giving it to you again. I want to give it to you and keep on giving it to you.


Take it easy big man, we don't want the WHOLE forum knowing about us :hayden3



TheAussieKrisKringle said:


> Review your reviews Zombo :mark:


_I'll tackle this because a) I don't have to quote an old review to do this general review, and b) I'll consider this request good enough to prevent people from trying to pick out specific old reviews for me to re-review._

Well, it's only been a couple of days since I've tried to step into the vaunted shoes of TSE and become the reviewer that WrestlingForum doesn't necessarily want, but the reviewer that this site needs. Obviously, a reviewer of some sort has been in high demand these last few days, based on the amount of requests that I've tried to accommodate and the amount of views this thread has already gained. From the popularity aspect, I feel that the reviews are doing their job and that, YOU, THE WRESTLINGFORUM UNIVERSE (*pauses for cheap pop) are happy with them so far. 

Some of my reviews have been more detailed than others. I feel very bad being unable to accommodate the few that I a) have little-to-no knowledge of and b) the TV shows and whatnot that I haven't seen that I just won't be able to get to for the sake of the reviews. Personally, I love the EXPERT PANELS that have come to my immediate aid when needed, and those who have given their invaluable input have my eternal gratitude. 

Ultimately, I'd say that I've done an average job. If there wasn't a standard of such excellence set by TSE before me, perhaps I'd even give myself a 4. However, I'm judging myself against TSE's standard, therefore, I can only award myself a hapless

fucky / 5



JOY!~ Stevenson said:


> review me plz .


Another review of an individual. Here we go.

I got to know this user when he was but a humble basic named Crusade. Since that time, he's become a premium member and goes by L-DOPA. He'll always be Crusade to me though, as that's how he made his name in The Debate League. Crusade has proven to be a capable debater, having amassed a quick 3-0 record before running into the championship belt guardian, ZOMBO. A rough go against Stevie Swag on the following card lowered his record further still. This loss made TLK the saddest team captain in history, and when you cost TLK any modicum of happiness, that drops you one in the ratings. It's only fair. However, Crusade is certainly not underestimated and has carved out a nice level of respect within TDL. 

I've also consulted a panel of esteemed experts to discuss Crusade. Letuce stated that "he seems ok from what ive seen of him". Legendary repper Daiko noted that Crusade is a "Decent poster, copied my review thing in the NXT thread. 1*" Finally, the man behind the Voice Thread, HELLO WRESTLINGFORUM THIS IS OXITRON weighed in on Crusade, saying that "crusade was a cool poster back before he got his premium, havent seen much since then". 

Knowing that Crusade has some personal things to address recently, leading to some inactivity on the forum, leads me to believe that he's got his life priorities in order, and dammit do I respect that. Crusade comes across as a thoughtful poster, and a welcome member that I enjoy interacting with on here. Therefore, his rating is:

:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly / 5


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## Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jan 28, 2010)

Keibler Elf said:


> Should've had me review the latest trends about personal shit, Lettuce.





Light The Lettuce Tree said:


> I'd like that review :brodgers.


The ANYTHING section goes through numerous stages of terrible quality and just poor quality threads. One week, it was about a woman who slept with her dead husband for a year (including pictures of the decomposed body) and other macabre stories that Evolution thankfully put an end to with his vaunted "Common Sense Decree". 

The latest trend is asking fellow WrestlingForum members personal questions that really aren't that personal or important. "Would you drink your own blood", "Which city would you like to visit", "Do you wear contact lenses", "What's your favourite animal", "Do you have all your teeth", and "How many holidays do you get for Christmas" are just a handful of these type of threads that have come up lately, which results in about 4-5 pages of replies that bear no real meaning or substance. "No, I don't have all my teeth, I'd like to visit Paris. I don't wear contacts..." I mean, the answers really don't matter.. it's creating threads for the sake of creating threads. Hell, there are now threads in RANTS over this trend.

Due to the fact that these type of threads bump down interesting or legitimate news stories, or top-quality threads such as this one THAT THE PEOPLE WANT TO SEE, I can't help but give this trend a disappointing

:chrisholly:chrisholly / 5


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## swagger_ROCKS (Jun 5, 2010)

Keibler Elf said:


> Canada, at least the parts that I know and can speak to from first-hand experience, is nothing short of great. We don't really fight anyone here, people are generally pretty chill just trying to make a living and enjoy themselves while they're doing so. I have many friends who've gone "out west" (read: Alberta, British Columbia) and they enjoy how it's even MORE chill than it is here in Ontario. There's a Timmy's every kilometre or so, as per Canadian law (for more on Tim Horton's, please consult THIS review: http://www.wrestlingforum.com/27642505-post1.html).
> 
> If you like nature, there are vast expanses of Canadian wilderness to check out. If you like fishing, there's Great Lakes, ice fishing, and oceans on either side of the country. If you like urban sprawl, we have Toronto. If you like igloos, we have the Yukon territory. If you like hockey, we ARE HOCKEY. This country also brought Trailer Park Boys and Kenny vs. Spenny to the world.
> 
> ...


:clap:clap:clap:clap:clap


----------



## Vic (Jan 2, 2010)

Keibler Elf said:


> The ANYTHING section goes through numerous stages of terrible quality and just poor quality threads. One week, it was about a woman who slept with her dead husband for a year (including pictures of the decomposed body) and other macabre stories that Evolution thankfully put an end to with his vaunted "Common Sense Decree".
> 
> The latest trend is asking fellow WrestlingForum members personal questions that really aren't that personal or important. "Would you drink your own blood", "Which city would you like to visit", "Do you wear contact lenses", "What's your favourite animal", "Do you have all your teeth", and "How many holidays do you get for Christmas" are just a handful of these type of threads that have come up lately, which results in about 4-5 pages of replies that bear no real meaning or substance. "No, I don't have all my teeth, I'd like to visit Paris. I don't wear contacts..." I mean, the answers really don't matter.. it's creating threads for the sake of creating threads. Hell, there are now threads in RANTS over this trend.
> 
> ...



:clap *****


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## nikola123 (Apr 1, 2012)

I would like a doge review


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## Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jan 28, 2010)

nikola123 said:


> I would like a doge review


The doge meme was introduced to me, personally, through one of my good friends who spends a great deal of time on the internet. I get home from work, pretty much daily, with PMs from him that contain various silly images. When pictures of animals with text first became a thing, he was all over that. He introduced me to Dolan. And most recently, he's been hooking me up with the latest and greatest doge images. For this, I am forever grateful.

My personal history aside, I'm a huge fan of doge. I believe my immediate response to his first doge message was something along the lines of "I am 100% all-in on wherever this thing goes". I remain true to that statement. Now, what is it that makes doge so special? Well, first off, look at the dog itself. It is FUCKING ADORABLE. I mean come on. If you look at that face and harbour any ill feelings, then you're a grinchy grinch and should go to hell. 

However, there are tons of cute animals out there in the world. Even cute babies exist, although they are rarely seen, let alone photographed. Something else puts doge over the top. This is where the text on top of the image comes into play. Utilizing a format that is already "tried and true" within the internet community was a brilliant tactical decision on the doge creators. However, the moment of SHEER and ABSOLUTE genius took place when the words were separated, and spaced at random across the image into easily digestible chunks, allowing the reader to engage with the comedic "thoughts" of the dog on the dog's own presumed level. That, my friends, is what I like to call "internet magic". 

As a cute, lovable, funny and witty character that anyone can relate to, doge scores an impressive:




































/ 5

wow such compliments many ratings much joy wow


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## nikola123 (Apr 1, 2012)

Keibler Elf said:


> The doge meme was introduced to me, personally, through one of my good friends who spends a great deal of time on the internet. I get home from work, pretty much daily, with PMs from him that contain various silly images. When pictures of animals with text first became a thing, he was all over that. He introduced me to Dolan. And most recently, he's been hooking me up with the latest and greatest doge images. For this, I am forever grateful.
> 
> My personal history aside, I'm a huge fan of doge. I believe my immediate response to his first doge message was something along the lines of "I am 100% all-in on wherever this thing goes". I remain true to that statement. Now, what is it that makes doge so special? Well, first off, look at the dog itself. It is FUCKING ADORABLE. I mean come on. If you look at that face and harbour any ill feelings, then you're a grinchy grinch and should go to hell.
> 
> ...


:clap:clap:clap:clap:clap

I got a bit teary eyed nearing the end,amazing :clap


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## Buttermaker (Sep 29, 2009)

If you are in to boxing by any chance review your favourite fight..


----------



## DOPA (Jul 13, 2012)

review claims of WAGG being a pedo (sorry WAGG had to do this for the lolz  )


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## Obfuscation (Apr 15, 2006)

Make it include TWINS.


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## Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jan 28, 2010)

Takers Revenge said:


> If you are in to boxing by any chance review your favourite fight..


I'm not terribly into boxing, unfortunately. I've watched maybe one or two fights in their entirety. I remember being entertained by the Mickey Ward / Arturo Gatti trilogy back in the day, and I've watched a lot of Mike Tyson knockout highlight videos... but I can't add much more than that. The fights I remember best took place in the Rocky series, I doubt you want those reviewed. Sorry Takers Revenge, you know I heart you.



JOY!~ Stevenson said:


> review claims of WAGG being a pedo (sorry WAGG had to do this for the lolz  )





Hayley's Xmas Ecstasy said:


> Make it include TWINS.


Another thing I've kind of (perhaps "tried to" is better) avoid getting too involved with. I mean, the guy takes a liking to girls that look younger. I... That... I mean, that's not something I really want to touch with a ten foot pole. These reviews are about POSITIVITY :chrisholly and I'd hate for it to turn into a space where we debate things like sexual misconduct or preferences on what age you find girls to be most attractive. Plus, I'd feel inadequate trying to write up any review on WAGG without access to Andre's bank of BLACK MARKET SMILEYS.

All that said, the comment about how twins can't be "twins" unless they're identical is some of the funniest shit I've ever read. THAT QUOTE, or simply the mindset behind it, gets an automatic

:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly / 5


----------



## charlesxo (Jun 20, 2013)

<--- review pls


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## Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jan 28, 2010)

Le Père Noël said:


> <--- review pls


Dunno if you mean the actual logo or the company itself. I'll do both. :hb

Firstly, the Keebler Company is the largest cookie and cracker manufacturer in the United States, according to Wikipedia. That has to count for something. For me, personally, they're cookie products are what works best. Animal crackers, the ChipsDeluxe cookies (soft 'n chewy are to die for) and the vanilla wafers are all just plain money. 

The crackers are nothing to shake your head at either, particularly the Cheez-It brand, which was a favourite snack of mine. I still remember the days in elementary school where I'd have some Cheez-Its in my lunch, which signified today was a good day. Goddamn I miss Cheez-Its, and due to this review, I'm almost certainly going to buy a box during my next grocery run. Yes, I get groceries each week. 

Ultimately, Keebler has set a standard that countless other companies have imitated. That's respect in my eyes, as imitation is simply a high form of flattery. As a long-standing staple of American food and consumerism, I grant Keebler Company a solid

:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly / 5

In terms of the logo, I mean, look how cute the damn elf is. It's got the pointy ears and... well I guess not much else about him reminds me of my connotation of an "elf". For instance, I didn't think elves only had three fingers plus a thumb, as the Keebler Elf does. And to be quite frank, his green jacket and gold tie combination make him look much more like a leprechaun than an elf. Also, the eyes. Don't elves have keen eyesight? The close proximity of one eyeball to the next suggests a life spent looking at things up close, possibly leading to nearsightedness. That can't be good.

The tree in the background of the logo suggests that the Keebler Elf at least maintains an arboreal habitat, which is more in line with the common perception of elves. A quick recap then. Pros: cute as hell, pointy ears, and lives in trees. Cons: Leprechaun attire, facial features not elvish enough. 

Overall, I give the logo itself a disappointing

:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly / 5


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## SonoShion (Feb 14, 2012)

Review moi.


----------



## Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jan 28, 2010)

Horny Snowflakes said:


> Review moi.


Another personal review, which I'll reiterate are difficult in the sense that I don't really have anything terrible to say about any of you on here. The user typically known to me as SonoShion REALLY landed on my radar in the form of his (I assume "his"? It's "his", right?) rep images and gif that are certainly not safe for work or children. I mean, that's one way to get on the map. The images aren't always teh_pr0n though, as some of it is just kinda weird and gory. His interests do include "GORE" though, so I guess you reap what you sow. 

With me though, Sono has always been good. Comes across well enough, at least in my interactions with him. However, it's all about dat GUEST PANEL that comes with personal reviews, so I've turned to my esteemed and trusted panel for more insight into WrestlingForum's own SonoShion.

When asked about Sono, noted member Oxitron stated that Sono was a "backstabbing sunnabitch" and, after a few minutes of incoherent sobbing, added "HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE MY FRIEND".

AlienBountyHunter informed us, perhaps unsurprisingly, that "He likes to dissect girls." Okay, then.

Finally, Mozza piped up with his own assertion, claiming "he's utterly insane". 

Well, certainly not the highest praise from the Chatbox Experts, and as a reviewer who works hand-in-hand with esteemed experts for exactly that - their expertise - I must take that in account when providing my ratings. I had you at 4 before the panel's judgments took effect Sono, but I feel that the people have spoken and you must fall one spot. 

:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly / 5



Magic said:


> will do you do us a favour and review a site for us pls you top scouser x
> http://www.wrestlingforum.com/27834737-post1730.html the link is in this guys sig. i don't know whether it's completely SFW though


The link in question is http://fightingfemdom.yolasite.com/ which isn't really NSFW, so much as it is weird. The website tells us that the images are designed by a women named Stephanie Park. In reality, we all know it's some sick dude named Steven who is using the internet to live out his depraved and unusual fantasies. However, I don't want to get too judgmental in advance of the full review, so I'll do my best to remain neutral. 

So, uhh, basically the website has 3D cartoon images of women fighting men, and beating them up. Lots of girls in leather stepping on the nuts of naked men, or straddling the men's prone (and defeated) bodies. There is a link to become a member to the site that allows you to unlock 8GB of pictures, which include "ballbusting, CFNM, facesitting, and other femdom fetishes". None of those are exactly my thing, and I don't even want to google "CFNM" at work to find out what it is. Something tells me it's not a smart decision.

Anyways, you can access all that for the low price of fifty dollars. You got that right, it's... wait. WHAT. FIFTY FUCKING DOLLARS. $50. As in, that isn't a decimal error. People pay FIFTY FUCKING BUCKS for shit like this? Some shitty 3D rendering of women beating men up? This is what people are into? For fucking fuck's sakes. Fuck neutrality. Okay, sorry about that outburst. Back to being neutral.

Pros: The site has an easy-to-read layout, making it very user-friendly.

:chrisholly / 5


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## Obfuscation (Apr 15, 2006)

wagg's ideas on twins gets the FULL SCORE. Success! :hb


----------



## Deck The Halls With Funes Mori (May 13, 2012)

Fucking brilliant, mate. Pls don't stop!


----------



## Green Light (Sep 17, 2011)

Review this post.


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## Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jan 28, 2010)

Synaesthesia said:


> Review this post.


lazy and uninspired / 5


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## Oxidamus (Jan 30, 2012)

this please ZOMBO.

:side:


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## Green Light (Sep 17, 2011)

Keibler Elf said:


> lazy and uninspired / 5


Yeah that pretty much sums me up


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## Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jan 28, 2010)

Christmas BOSS said:


> this please ZOMBO.
> 
> :side:


The Fuck off Orton thread created by HELLO WRESTLING FORUM THIS IS OXITRON began with a detailed, intricate take-down of the APEX PREDATOR, the VIPER, VINTAGE RANDY ORTON. And by detailed, I mean that motherfucker stretched on for two and a half thousand words. That's outstanding effort. The points were salient and well organized. That said, we must analyze the context in which they were presented, and what goals the thread sought to achieve and if said goals were achieved.

The issue with a post such as this, and Oxi acknowledged it within those 2500+ words, is that the Orton marks would've clicked on the thread just to send him a dose of red rep with some less-than-kind words attached. The topic was posted in the General WWE section, known for housing the biggest marks and trolls on the forum. It's the place where 2500 word posts go to die. So, what were the possible goals in doing such a detailed thread to begin with? It could've been to rile up the Orton marks, but couldn't you have done that much more succinctly? It could've been to gain favour from the ANTI-Orton people too, I suppose. 

Ultimately, it was a well-crafted takedown which - in and of itself - was a well-written and excellent little piece. However, in terms of the desired results, they could've been even more easily achieved, particularly in that section, with a simple "Orton is boring thread #45213" and you would've had the same responses. 

Ultimately, a thread that went 13 pages, got the desired if not predictable results gets an average rating, in spite of the quality and depth with which you attacked Orton. The fuck off Orton thread gets

:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly / 5


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## Dib Da GREEK/CREEP/FALSE DETECTIVE (May 12, 2013)

Review Invader Zim please :agree:


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## Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jan 28, 2010)

I would if I could Dib, but I'm afraid I'll have to cite my what I told Froot when he asked that I review a television show that he requested (and even then, at least it was only one episode). 

The key to these reviews is that I'll review what I know, but things like TV shows are tricky if I've never seen it. I can't give baseless reviews, or else that would bring the overall quality and TRUTH-SEEKING JUDGMENT of my reviews down. And, to be fair, that would be shitting all over TSE's great and admirable legacy.


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## CamillePunk (Feb 10, 2011)

bring back TSE


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## A$AP (Jul 24, 2012)

Review A$AP


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## Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jan 28, 2010)

A$AP said:


> Review A$AP


Hmmm. I don't think I've had any interactions with you A$AP, but I'll start by saying that I like the name. It's pretty iconic. It's so iconic that, if I had interacted with you before, I'd remember you because of the name. Even still, a great name is a point in my books, so you're off to a smashing start. 

Your profile doesn't exactly reveal a whole lot about you, so I'm turning to your recent post history to garner insight into what you bring to the table. You sarcastically responded to pictures of Batista in a speedo. That's good, I suppose. You have a bunch of posts in the hip hop threads, which I'm not exactly an expert on. I mean, I enjoy Talib Kweli and Mos Def, but that doesn't make me all that knowledgeable. You mocked Dixie Carter's announcements, but that's easy pickings #lowhangingfruit so no points there, really. 

It's time of course that I turn to my esteemed chatbox Expert Panel. Unfortunately, this review took place during some kind of soccer or cricket match I'm assuming, and my requests for comments on you went largely ignored. However, one man was good enough to give me a review, and WHAT A REVIEW IT WAS. DwayneAustin, take it away:



> A$AP- expert eater of fruit. Owner of a GOAT voice. he is all things to all men, and maybe to one lucky gal


Based on DA's excellent review, as well as my impressions of you, I can't help but give you at least a 4 rating. However, your constant hip hop posting and the most recent gifs in the random picture thread (Allen Iverson and Kanye) have made me sufficiently afraid of you to give you nothing less than a 5. With that, I grant a nervous

:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly / 5


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## Pratchett (Jan 9, 2013)

Review Pratchett pls. You may know him better.


----------



## obby (May 19, 2009)

review this puppeh


----------



## Oxidamus (Jan 30, 2012)

Review this jar opening octopus


----------



## Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jan 28, 2010)

I'm going to preface this by saying that this is likely my final review... OF 2013. I'm off work for the day soon, and my office is closed until the new year. For those of you who have contributed ideas / suggestions for a review, thank you for making this column the success (?) that it is. I know it isn't what TSE created for you - frankly, nothing could replace somebody or something quite that magical. However, I've done my very best and hope that you all stick with me throughout 2014. Hopefully people asking me to review them as individuals is a 2013-only trend.



The Hogfather said:


> Review Pratchett pls. You may know him better.


Son of a gun. 

Pratchett, aka the dirty old man of WrestlingForum has been nothing but enjoyable in his still-brief but memorable tenure here. I suppose he could rub people the wrong way, with his rough-around-the-edges attitude and what some may consider a pervy, old man demeanor. Personally, I fall under the opposite category, where I'm a fan of Pratchett BECAUSE of all those things. He is who he is and I'll be damned if he's gonna change. Respect.

Pratchett has also shown his heart, being quite empathetic or caring when members have expressed hard times. People going through job losses or personal issues have been met with kind words from Pratch, often telling his own personal stories. I can't help but admire that, and he'd earn my respect from that alone. This sense of compassion combined with his mature perspective really provides a "voice of reason" for serious matters, to go with his fun or funny side. A great character.

Ultimately, AlienBountyHunter gives us a good summary with which I can conclude my review: "Pratchett is GOAT". Simple. Succinct. Sexy. 

:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly / 5

EDIT: I see the requests for reviews above, made by obby and Oxi, respectively. I'll do my best to get to those and any other requests posted in the next week and a half upon my return. Merry Christmas (if that's your thing), happy holidays if it isn't, and a happy new year to you all.


----------



## Evolution (Sep 23, 2005)

Too many :chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly ratings for me imo.


----------



## A$AP (Jul 24, 2012)

This thread. :lmao Good stuff, ZOMBO.


----------



## Pratchett (Jan 9, 2013)

Wow. That review, such kind words.


----------



## Magic (Feb 28, 2009)

The Stocking Filler said:


> :kobe:kobe2:kobe3:kobe4:kobe5:kobe6:kobe7:kobe8:kobe9
> 
> there. done.
> 
> ...


:kobe11




:kobe10


----------



## charlesxo (Jun 20, 2013)

EVOLUTION DRUNK ON EGGNOG POWER said:


> Too many :chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly ratings for me imo.


Zombo is possibly selling out :no:


----------



## GOD OF CUNT (Jan 9, 2008)

Review:

- Stealing a fire engine while wellied out your tits on absinthe and LSD

- The sensation of furiously masturbating then punching yourself in the nose to induce a profuse nosebleed at the very moment you explode into a handkerchief made of Dib's scalp. 

- GOD of CUNT

- People who wear gator skin boots with their trousers rolled up to the knees so everyone can see their pink socks


Many topics and issues interest me, but those are the ones that should be brought to the fore with the greatest urgency.


----------



## Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jan 28, 2010)

HAPPY 2014 EVERYONE! I'm back at work, which means I'm back on WF to provide you with the reviews that we sorely and desperately need ever since the self-inflicted demise of TSE. As you all know, I've begun this thread in his honour, and only hope to do his Burger Review thread a modicum of justice. 

I ask here that moderators do not close this thread due to this bump, as I declared before the Christmas break that I'd be away until the new year:



ZOMBO said:


> I'm going to preface this by saying that this is likely my final review... OF 2013. I'm off work for the day soon, and my office is closed until the new year.
> 
> EDIT: I see the requests for reviews above, made by obby and Oxi, respectively. I'll do my best to get to those and any other requests posted in the next week and a half upon my return. Merry Christmas (if that's your thing), happy holidays if it isn't, and a happy new year to you all.


Before I get into the review requests left for me in my absence, I'd like to address a couple things first: 



Evolution said:


> Too many :chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly ratings for me imo.


A fair point. I feel I'm a decent guy, by nature, so it's tough for me to really hate on things. There's a few low reviews, but they're few and far between. I'll strive to be a little more stingy on my 5-ChrisHolly faces in 2014. However, this is tied directly into my next point:

The personal reviews of individuals on here are ALL going to be kind of similar, and I'd hate to become a repetitive soundtrack. Basically, I've stated in the past that I've disliked two users on WF since I arrived here 4 years ago: Shreddybrek, and the guy that had sex with his dog or something and kept making posts about how guilty he felt. THAT'S IT. I like all of you on here, I don't really have any negative input towards anyone, so I'll grab a couple quotes from the chatbox and that'll adjust your rating up or down from the average of 4 ChrisHollys. So, I humbly and kindly ask that we keep the "REVIEW ME PLS!!" posts to a minimum, and I'll do my best to review the topics I can speak on. 

Yours, 

ZOMBO

Reviews are on the way.


----------



## Chrome (Jan 11, 2012)

Welcome back. 

:chrisholly


----------



## Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jan 28, 2010)

obby said:


> review this puppeh


I mean, that's a cute little puppeh. Looks similar-ish to one that my parents have. I grew up around a big dog - a German Shepherd (which at least seems gigantic when you're 5 years old), and have had a combination of little dogs (around 10 lbs) since then. 

Clicking on the link, I see that the image is titled "Milo in the Snow1". I do enjoy the name Milo, so no hate there. The tail is nice too, although the clarity of it makes me fear that Milo isn't happily wagging his tail whilst playing in the snow. Combined with the look of confusion or just plain dourness in his face leaves me even more concerned about the mental state of this dog. 

Also, note the tracks on the ground. Haphazard. Circular motion at times. This dog doesn't know what the hell is going on. Milo's too confused and/or apathetic to the bleak and wintry world around him that he no longer knows happiness, and is instead living out his days - the next day the same as the one previous - stuck in a Sisyphean struggle doing the same routine until he breathes his final breath. Sleep. Go outside for a pee. Eat kibbles. Sleep. Go outside for a pee. Do a trick. Eat Treat. Go outside for a pee. Sleep. Repeat.

Quite frankly, what began as a cute little puppeh on the exterior has left me feeling both depressed and contemplative. Is this dog's life, being caught in a cyclical trap of directionless motion, not a microcosm for our own human experience? Sleep. Eat. Work. Make Money. Eat. Pay bills. Sleep. Repeat. Due to the crushing feeling of mediocrity that this dog conveys so astutely, I have no choice but to give it a mediocre:

:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly / 5



Oxi said:


> Review this jar opening octopus


Quite frankly, I've seen similar videos to this before. A cursory Google search of "octopus opening jar" yields countless results (apparently Google DOES count them for you, and it says "About 344,000 results"). So, is it impressive that an octopus is able to open a jar to get food or other things within? I'd venture to say absolutely. I'm always stunned by the intelligence and cunning displayed by creatures in the wild. Have any of you seen Rise of the Planet of the Apes? Those motherfuckers were BAD ASS. Learned how to talk. Fight. Organize an army and take down helicopters from the sky. Monkeys taking down 'copters is what gets you 5 stars in the animal intelligence rating in my book. 

However, with all of those Google results informing me of my rating, and the fact that the video was SIX MINUTES out of my life for something I'd seen before, I'm not impressed within the context of being surprised by this display. I've seen it before, and I've seen monkeys attacking helicopters. However, since some faithful readers may be having their first exposure to the octopus opening a jar, I'll give what I feel is a generous

:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly / 5



GOD of CUNT said:


> Review:
> 
> - Stealing a fire engine while wellied out your tits on absinthe and LSD
> 
> ...


Hmm. I'm usually not a fan of multiple requests in one post, because I sometimes get the feeling that you're taking advantage of my willingness to review on your behalf. However, I know I can only truly comment on one or two of these, so it'll be quick enough. 

I've never stolen a fire engine. I've never had any experiences with absinthe or LSD. Consider me sheltered, I guess. So I can't comment on the first bullet point. (*No rating given)

With regards to the second bullet point, who HASN'T furiously masturbated? So obviously that's relatable. Don't know if I've ever punched myself in the nose while intentionally, but I suppose it is something that people are into. However, I don't know how soft and absorptive a handkerchief made of human scalp would be for receiving whatever materials land on it. I mean, most people could moisturize their hands or arms or legs. But the scalp I'd imagine is a fairly dry place. You can't really jam a bunch of lotion on there without getting into a sticky situation, not much unlike the one you're proposing in your request! Anyways, it's not really a situation for me, but I'll give it

:chrisholly:chrisholly / 5

In terms of my opinions on you, our interactions have been fairly limited. I've enjoyed your search for a role model in Rants quite thoroughly. You were voted the forums funniest member, and based on what I've read in your stories, I can see why that could be justified. 

As is standard procedure, I've asked for some special guest expert opinions with respect to rating you properly. Kiz stated "he was hit by a car as a kid". The DARK ANDRE only wrote "Lescott 3000; just use a biography of lescott for him". I'm not quite sure what all of that means, but in the end, my gut tells me you're all right. 

:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly / 5

Finally, pink socks are IN style. Gator skin boots can be flashy, and I could see them going exceptionally well with a particular bright shade of pink socks. So far so good. However, if you're going to be looking like that much of a BOSS, why roll up the trousers? The true confident man leaves the trousers down, and only reveals the pink socks when he sits, and the pant leg rises well above the ankle. For that fashion faux pas, I can only award: 

:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly / 5


----------



## Buttermaker (Sep 29, 2009)

Zombo. Review Canada's chances of winning gold the world junior championships.


----------



## The Lady Killer (Oct 20, 2006)

TLK plz :tlk


----------



## Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jan 28, 2010)

Takers Revenge said:


> Zombo. Review Canada's chances of winning gold the world junior championships.


Quite honestly, no country in the world cares about the World Junior Hockey championships quite like we do in Canada. Anyone else have a Boxing Day tradition of getting up early so you can watch the boys in red and white take the ice to start the tourney? If you said "yes", congrats on being a Canadian. 








Going into the tournament, there was the usual downsides of the Canadian hockey program - the actual best "junior" age players are already in the NHL, and too valuable to their respective teams to be let go for a couple weeks to play in the WJHC. It always sucks losing out on having multiple top-line players unavailable, but we persevere, given that our 4th line guys could line up on the top line of most other teams. 

Before the tournament began, most of my conversations with friends dealt with my concern about the US team and the Russians. Fucking Russians. I wasn't worried after the upset against the Czechs, but I was nervous heading into the game against the US. We won, but it was one of those games that could've gone either way. I was ecstatic when that win set up the US / Russia game, allowing one of those scary teams to knock the other out. As I write this, Canada has a 4-1 lead on the Swiss (expected). If Canada can remain healthy, I don't see why they shouldn't be able to at least contend for gold. It'll come down to a battle with the Russians. I hope we can do it. I'll give us a cautiously optimistic: 

:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly / 5



The Lady Killer said:


> TLK plz :tlk


:side:

Well, at least I got to do one review before someone made the personal request. 

TLK. The Debate League LEGEND. The UNDEFEATED one. The guy who gave me encouragement when I first joined TDL and invited me onto Team TLK before I STABBED HIM IN THE BACK and became a TURNCOAT (All in good fun, of course). Voted WrestlingForum's FAVOURITE MEMBER of 2013. 

That's a list as impressive as a Beatles' Greatest Hits album. :tlk

I mean, there isn't a whole lot bad to say about TLK (as this is the case with just about anyone). We're near the same age, have many common interests, and there is a feeling of mutual respect between us. In keeping with your nice guy persona, you choose DIRK as your favourite athlete on here, who is one of the most likable athletes in the world. You're John Lennon avatar is iconic, and he was a peaceful kinda guy. As always though, I must rely on my EXPERT PANEL to assist me in determining a proper review of you. 

TKOK: "he's a good dude"
AlienBountyHunter: "I heard his favourite movie is Big Momma's House 2"
SKINS25: "his name is also Greg"

I guess all of that is good? The rating hasn't swayed. An unreserved

:hb:tlk:hb / 5


----------



## GOD OF CUNT (Jan 9, 2008)

Lescott3000? I've been hit by plenty of cars, but Lescott3000? That is highly offensive. I have no other way of putting it, quite frankly.


----------



## Deck The Halls With Funes Mori (May 13, 2012)

Brilliant.


----------



## MOX (Dec 6, 2011)

Ich require vun ov ze mafia games played on zis forum to be reviewed. Not only vill you review it, but you vill LEARN about mafia in ze prozess.

Ich expecto resultias.


----------



## GOD OF CUNT (Jan 9, 2008)

ROUSEY said:


> Brilliant.


KOFF, BAWBAG. IT MAKES NO SENSE.


----------



## Gretchen (Jun 17, 2013)

Review TSE's perception of your reviews, pls.



TSE said:


> i also feel very insulted zombo took over my place in the reviewing market on these forums too bad his thread doesnt have HALF the posts i had. its good to see people like to see quality, talent, and dedication and dont see that in zombo.


----------



## Vic (Jan 2, 2010)

Review my website that you saw earlier today :HHH2


----------



## Andre (Jul 17, 2011)

ZOMBO, review GoC's eyebrows which are either just as drunk as he is or have fallen out and are are therefore looking in different directions for said reason.



ROUSEY said:


> Brilliant.


^^^ Yeah that. Andy Potter.


----------



## Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jan 28, 2010)

BOLO YEUNG said:


> Ich require vun ov ze mafia games played on zis forum to be reviewed. Not only vill you review it, but you vill LEARN about mafia in ze prozess.
> 
> Ich expecto resultias.


As part of my vast research on the topic, I read the Mafia thread "Seinfeld Mafia", which can be found here: 

http://www.wrestlingforum.com/mafia-archive/633397-seinfeld-mafia-game-thread.html

I was immediately overwhelmed by the litany of terms that I was unfamiliar with. "Miller", "Scum", people having powers. I didn't know what was going on. Anark talking only using "Jerry! Hello!!". The good players all seemed to pry and picked up clues as to who to "lynch", and to be quite frank, I couldn't deduce anything.

Unfortunately, the moderator of the game fucked up and the game ended up being abandoned after 4 days and nights. Apparently, these "day" periods can last quite long and require MANY posts. I'm still very confused as to how this game works.

If nothing else, it left me somewhat intrigued to try this game out on a topic I'm familiar with at some point in the future. 

:chrisholly:chrisholly / 5



RhodesForWHC said:


> Review TSE's perception of your reviews, pls.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


This actually hurts to read. Where was this posted? My aim, as stated throughout this thread, was simply to TRY to HELP filling the gargantuan VOID left by the esteemed TSE. I never made false promises trying to be him, nor did I believe I'd be able to fill his legendary shoes. I just aimed to appease SOME of the demand for reviews on this, our beloved WrestlingForum site. 

However much it stings to read those words from TSE, it only increases my dedication and commitment to this role, and to you - THE WRESTLINGFORUM UNIVERSE.

:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly / 5



Lutece said:


> Review my website that you saw earlier today :HHH2


It's very clean, easy to read, and the setup is engaging. It looks like a pro website. The name reminds me significantly of Kotaku, which I'm assuming is your intention. Because I like to help out the loyal fans of these reviews, I'm going to throw you a little plug here: 

http://otakudome.com/

Expect a SIGNIFICANT boost in your site hits over the next 24 hours, because there is one HELL OF A LOT of eyeballs that will see this post. 

In terms of criticisms, the scores of your ratings seem fairly high (at least, from the small sample size that I checked out). I know what it's like to be on the end of a comment like that (*_coughEVOLUTIONcough_*), but it's only for your own benefit. I used to read PC Gamer magazine (!) as a kid, and I'll be damned if I didn't look forward to those reviews in the 20-30% range as much as I did the ones that were 90+. Sometimes, you can make something awesome come from something awful. 

Overall, I'd say that I was impressed by my first visit to your website, and I'll keep an eye on you in the future. Keep up the good stuff, and I hope your work pays off for you.

:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly / 5



THE DARK ANDRE said:


> ZOMBO, review GoC's eyebrows which are either just as drunk as he is or have fallen out and are are therefore looking in different directions for said reason.


GOD of CUNT's eyebrows do indeed appear to have fallen out, or worse. Regardless, upon looking at them, it is without doubt that some terrible tragedy befell them. At the same time, considering this is GOD of CUNT we're talking about, the eyebrow fuckery could've take place in any myriad of ways, far beyond anything I could probably contrive. GoC has seen and done things I didn't know were possible in places that I never knew existed. 

It's safe to at least make the presumption that GoC was drunk at the time his eyebrows became like that, based on the FACT that GoC is ALWAYS drunk. That part is easy enough. 

Now, why is one eyebrow (his right) so much thicker than the left? Why is the thick eyebrow hooked in shape whilst the thin eyebrow straighter than his dick after one of Cat's foul-mouthed rampages? There's just so many unknowns and variables surrounding GoC and his general lifestyle that I truly cannot predict what happened. Instead, I'll review the eyebrows simply for their aesthetic value: 

:chrisholly / 5


----------



## Vic (Jan 2, 2010)

ZOMBO said:


> It's very clean, easy to read, and the setup is engaging. It looks like a pro website. The name reminds me significantly of Kotaku, which I'm assuming is your intention. Because I like to help out the loyal fans of these reviews, I'm going to throw you a little plug here:
> 
> http://otakudome.com/
> 
> ...



Ha yeah I get a lot of AAAs to review and most of which are pretty good. If I reviewed more indy games then you'd probably see more low scores, but I'm slowly improving the range of the site and everything. I'm doing this shit by myself unfortunately.


----------



## obby (May 19, 2009)

Review the McDonalds Big Mac meal.

BC I'm hungry


----------



## Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jan 28, 2010)

obby said:


> Review the McDonalds Big Mac meal.
> 
> BC I'm hungry


I do feel a little uncomfortable reviewing this, only because I believe it ventures a little too far into TSE's legendary territory. However, since you said "Big Mac meal", I'm going to assume you mean the combo and justify doing the review that way. ^_^

Ah the Big Mac Meal. The ol' Combo #1. 

While I don't make it a habit to frequent McDonald's, especially with so many wonderful TIM HORTONS places in the area, I can admit that I'll crave that Big Mac once every month or two. You can't be indulging on dat special sauce every day, or probably even every week. But leaving a nice spell of time in between taking down Big Macs, and it's the best way to enjoy them, I find. 

If I do have any complaint about the Big Mac, it revolves around the simplicity of the burger. Cheese, lettuce, pickles and patties. I enjoy having a tomato on my burger every now and again, but it's the stuff like bacon (mmmmm Baaaconnn) or jalapenos or other spicy shit that I'd like to add. Maybe we're allowed to do that? I've never asked. I don't know.

Moving along, I always enjoy the wonderfully over-salted taste of McDonald's fries. Burger King's fries changed a few years ago, and I haven't enjoyed them nearly on the same level as McDonald's since that switch took place. Between the fries and the burger, it's a decent little option to grab every now and then. Like I stated in the opening, I only get it when I'm absolutely craving the burger, so that may increase the enjoyment of it artificially. 

The pop selection is okay, nothing special. I can, however, let you in on my personal favourite drink at the places where you get your own fountain pop with the order. The one I go to has two Fruitopia selections - one orange and one red (not sure what the actual proper flavours are, but bear with me). Simply fill the bottom inch of your cup with ice, then fill about 2/3 with the orange Fruitopia first. Top it off with the red one. It should leave you with a nice rosy hue and a fruity taste that will simply ravage your taste buds. This drink, to put it kindly, will fuck your shit up.

Anyhow, it's a good meal that can reach "great" levels when you're in the midst of a Big Mac crave. I'll rate it right in the middle.

:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly / 5


----------



## Oxidamus (Jan 30, 2012)

Review....





ZOMBObwe.


----------



## TAR (Jan 1, 2012)

Review Emma Stone :draper2 














Let's see how your taste in women is


----------



## Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jan 28, 2010)

Oxi said:


> Review....
> 
> ZOMBObwe.


So, I get to create my own nation in the current lands of Zimbabwe? :hmm: Challenge accepted. 

First off, I'd dis-empower current President Mugabe, keeping him on my staff as my Special Human Rights Advisor. Basically, I'd hear his opinions on sensitive human rights issues, and then do the opposite. Boom, one of the biggest problems that I'd inherit in running ZOMBObwe - human rights issues, particularly when viewed through an international lens - becomes a strength of my platform.

Secondly, I'd claim full dictatorship of the region for a span of FIFTEEN YEARS, after which I will peacefully step down and return to my home and native land, Canada. This will allow 5 years to lay the foundation for a great nation, five years to make any tweaks or adjustments to correct any unforeseen problems when nation-planning and nation-building, and then five years to enjoy the growth and development of the country with MY PEOPLE. After my fifteen year period is up, a democracy will reign supreme and the leaders will be elected by, YOU, THE WWE UNIVERSE!! the PEOPLE. 

If I accidentally or on-purposefully make little ZOMBObwean babies, then they will remain in the country of their birth, and be treated as the Royal Family, much like England's setup. This will remain so long after I return to Canada.

Speaking of Canada, I will forge new relationships with Canada and its allies abroad, adopting the great "be passive about everything and try to agree with everybody, but especially with world super-powers" strategy. In doing so, it will open up countless trade, commercial, and tourism opportunities to infuse ZOMBObwe with a working economy. I will name hockey, baseball, and cricket as the co-national sports. I will ensure that wrestling programming is included on the most basic of cable packages. I will ban the hunting and killing of monkeys.

Finally, I'll ensure that all members of WrestlingForum at the time of ZOMBObwe's creation will receive a special passport, enabling access for each and every one of you to come visit without hassle. Hell, it doesn't even have to be a visit, it could be a permanent relocation, a chance to build your lives in a hospitable, welcoming environment. WHO IS WITH ME?

:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly / 5


----------



## Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jan 28, 2010)

TAR said:


> Review Emma Stone :draper2
> 
> Let's see how your taste in women is


In doing some in-depth research on Emma for the purpose of this review (reading about one-third of her wikipedia page), I learned that she was naturally blonde. I always thought she was a redhead. Seeing pictures of her with each hair colour, red is the way to go. She looks like a hotter, healthier, and less insane version of Lindsey Lohan, and I think I actually mean that as a compliment. Or perhaps a young Julie Cooper (shout-out to my fellow fans of The O.C. out there) Her eyes are like a poor-man's Olivia Wilde, maybe? Fuck, I'm not good at analogies when it comes to women.

:draper2

I haven't seen very many movies with her in it, as that list includes only Superbad and Zombieland. I haven't seen her on any TV shows. Accordingly, judging her as an actress is difficult. She won a shit-ton of awards from some movie called "The Help", including one from the Black Film Critics Circle. If anyone knows anything about me, it's that I do NOT go against what the Black Film Critics Circle says. 

Wiki also informs me that she's dating this Andrew Garfield character, who looks like an anorexic Andy Murray. Not crazy about that. Big points off for that. In addition, I've learned that she supports a couple charity foundations. Nothing major it seems, but that's good look for a 25 year old kid. 

The EXPERT panel also weighed in on their thoughts on Emma. Noted female Calahart stated that she is "indifferent" towards Emma. Nobody else commented whatsoever on her, which only further increased the "indifference" notion championed by Calahart.

Accordingly, I found myself somewhat indifferent beginning this review, and feel the same at the end. I mean, we have a good looking girl in a bunch of movies I don't care to watch, with a little nancy of a boyfriend, who doesn't seem to do anything crazy to get headlines. She's okay in my book.

:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly / 5

EDIT: Upon further review after posting this, she is 100% a young Julie Cooper from The O.C. And that, my friends, is a COMPLIMENT.


----------



## CALΔMITY (Sep 25, 2012)

Review Homestuck. I dare you. This will be a long project for you if you take it on.


Edit: I'm not 100% serious though so I won't be disappointed if you reject.


----------



## TAR (Jan 1, 2012)

:lol nice

You know what though? Operation Stone Bone was abit of a lame request.

What you should review is the Australia vs England 2013/2014 Ashes series :mitch


----------



## hag (Aug 9, 2013)

Review Scissors, 

Like a pair of Scissors


----------



## Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jan 28, 2010)

Calahart said:


> Review Homestuck. I dare you. This will be a long project for you if you take it on.
> 
> 
> Edit: I'm not 100% serious though so I won't be disappointed if you reject.


I appreciate this not being a 100% serious request, because after briefly investigating the matter, I highly doubt I could undertake it for the purpose of a good review. 



TAR said:


> What you should review is the Australia vs England 2013/2014 Ashes series :mitch


This was England's worst ever Ashes tour... and the numbers prove it. 

:johnson / 5



Hag said:


> Review Scissors,
> 
> Like a pair of Scissors


My favourite pair of scissors growing up was a pair of red crayola safety scissors:








Those things were boss. 

Unfortunately, that also means that the high point for scissors, in my life, occurred at an alarmingly young age. It's been nothing but a precipitous downward drop since those days of my youth, where crudely chopping up various colours of construction paper to make football or hockey team logos was about as arts-and-crafty as I got.

Now, scissors serve their practical purpose, assisting me to open difficult packaging and whatnot. They sit in a kitchen drawer, always at the ready but remaining out of the way. If they break or are lost, they can be replaced by another pair of scissors. Each scissor different from the next, yet all ultimately the same. They cut, propelled by forces external to them, until they can cut no more. In this manner, a pair of scissors is like a human being. The simplest versions (babies, crayola safety scissors, respectively) usually bring such joy and happiness, despite of their overall inability to tackle complex tasks. As time goes by, both humans and scissors are forced to become more practical, adjusting to a world with responsibilities, time management, and money. Scissors are used to open efficiency, and an adult's daily schedule is nothing if not a model of efficiency. Like a pair of scissors, a human's schedule is often dictated by forces external to him or her - a corporate job that operates during certain daily hours, a family function for an in-law's birthday, the practice schedule for a son or daughter's baseball team. The human is used by the employer, by family members, by society generally, until they are one day of no more use. The human eventually moves into irrelevance, or a nursing home (synonym?), and then dies. The human is replaced by another at his or her former job, just as the scissor. Although the people are different, they are ultimately the same on some grand macro scale of the cosmos, and the cycle perpetuates. Life. Death. Life. Death. Cut. Paste. Cut. Paste. 

:chrisholly:chrisholly / 5


----------



## Vic (Jan 2, 2010)

You sir, have just made me resent my child-hood, thank you and bravo.


----------



## CALΔMITY (Sep 25, 2012)

ZOMBO :jericho4

Go out, buy some cherry Dr. Pepper, try it out, and review it. I love the stuff, but I wanna see if you can come up with something elaborate about it.


----------



## MOX (Dec 6, 2011)

i actually feel emotionally attached to scissors now


----------



## obby (May 19, 2009)

review tim hortons


----------



## Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jan 28, 2010)

obby said:


> review tim hortons


http://www.wrestlingforum.com/anything/1059409-zombo-reviews-official-thread.html

Please consult POST NUMBER ONE.


----------



## TKOK (Apr 6, 2006)

Review Naomi's ass


----------



## Buttermaker (Sep 29, 2009)

Review Boston Pizza


----------



## Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jan 28, 2010)

DARTH COCK said:


> Review Naomi's ass


I'll confess right from the get-go that I'm not particularly an "ass" guy, as some call it. I say this as lightly as possible, so as not to offend the large number of individuals who enjoy creating the "BEST ASS IN WRESTLING ALL TIME" or "BEST DIVAS ASS" thread in the Women of Wrestling section every damn week. Personally, I'm a fan of the thin-athletic types such as Gail Kim or Alicia Fox. Hell, Stacy Keibler was my all-time favourite. So, although I may not be the best individual for an ass review, I'm certainly the only one on here doing it.

That said, ever since it arrived on NXT Season 3, Naomi's backside been impossible to ignore. I mean, I'm having a difficult time refraining from simply posting a bunch of gifs of it as my entire review. To quote Teddy Long though, IT'S NOT GONNA GO DOWN LIKE DAT, PLAYA, YA FEEL ME?

So, umm, yeah. There really isn't anyone on the WWE roster that can compete with her fantasstic behind (SEEWUTIDIDTHERE?!?!). Kaitlyn was at least approaching the range of "top ass", but she's gone now. Perhaps Eve Torres before, in terms of recent memory. But yeah, if a big curvy thing is what you're going for, her presence is unmatched in the WWE. I'd nominate Brooke over her if we were to look at the Knockouts. 

So yeah, ultimately, what is Naomi's ass to me, personally? I dunno, I'm indifferent, so I'd probably give it a three. However, I can appreciate how others enjoy that area of the female anatomy more than I, so I will take that in consideration when bumping this rating to a:

:ass:ass:ass:ass / 5




Takers Revenge said:


> Review Boston Pizza


I've only been to Boston Pizza once, as there isn't really one in my area. It was very early on in the relationship with my then-girlfriend (now wife), so this took place somewhere about 7-8 years ago. Fuck, I feel old sometimes. 

Anyways, from what I recall, it was decent. Typical chain-restaurant fair. I'm at a point in my life where all of the Kelseys, the Caseys, the Applebees, etc just kind of blend into one mishmash of wing and rib combos, quesadillas, and other assorted pub fare. Boston Pizza falls into this area. 

I will go into a little side-anecdote here, though, and mention that a group of my old poker-playing buddies began referring to Boston Pizza as "Boston Fucks" for a period of a couple of years, probably just before the time when I visited the establishment. Time has erased my memory as to how this little title came into being, and it has also sapped me of why it was funny in the first place. However, I still chuckle if I say "Let's go eat at Boston Fucks" out loud. Try it yourself, go on then.

...

Not so bad, eh? Anyhow, back to the review. I consulted resident chatbox food expert, Hamada, for his opinion on Boston Pizza. Here is what WOOLCOCK, filling in for the absent Hamada and doing the best impression of him Hamada actually said: "it has food, food makes me warm inside, third helpings are a man's best friend. only problem is i can't get out the door"

Boston Pizza does indeed have food, and I'm sure the food is perfectly acceptable for a family night out or something on a relaxing Friday night. "Boston Fucks" was once a thing in my life, so there's that. An average grade for an average restaurant.

:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly / 5


----------



## obby (May 19, 2009)

ZOMBO said:


> http://www.wrestlingforum.com/anything/1059409-zombo-reviews-official-thread.html
> 
> Please consult POST NUMBER ONE.


don't know how I missed that

Review what you got for christmas?


----------



## Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jan 28, 2010)

obby said:


> Review what you got for christmas?


Well, my days of cool, exciting presents have long since passed by. Instead, I get practical things now that I need for my everyday. Shirts, a couple suits, an overcoat, etc. All in all, it would score very highly in terms of practicality but low in terms of entertaining YOU, the WRESTLINGFORUM UNIVERSE! So, let's review some other gifts that I received in my life for Christmas, beginning with my all-time favourite: 








Sega motherfucking Genesis. I remember getting this system, two controllers, and four games for Christmas when I was still young and innocent. My brother and I were the most excited little buggers that day. All four of those games still rank very high on my all-time favourites, mostly due to the nostalgic FEELS that they create. Madden '92. Sonic 2. ToeJam and Earl. Truxton. This system was the greatest Christmas present I remember. 

Another favourite of mine was a Power Wheels Corvette. Unfortunately, google isn't really helping me find the model that I had in the colour that I had it. So, here are two pictures that you'll have to use your imagination with. The shape of the car was like the one (minus the whole "Barbie" decal), and the colour was like the second image: 















​
That Corvette was my first ever car, and boy did she have some horsepower under that hood. 
I'm sure there was countless GI JOE figures and stuff too. I got this base thing one year: 








and that provided hours of fun. I don't know why there's a statue head atop the base, that certainly didn't come with mine. But the rest of that image is identical. 

So this Christmas rates highly in terms of its practical considerations, and this Christmas down memory lane rates highly in terms of both nostalgia and childhood awesomeness. 

:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly / 5


----------



## Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jan 28, 2010)

SKINS25 said:


> I would like a review on your thoughs of Eva Marie, from her looks to her in-ring skills


This was a chatbox request from yesterday, and I took the final, cohesive request as opposed to the jumbled mess of sentences that was SKINS initial request.

Anyways, Eva Marie's overall review is likely going to end somewhere in the middle. Her looks, my gawd, are off the charts. It's easy to see why WWE is keeping her around for a cable TV show in an effort to attract the male demographic. She's definitely a looker, no issues there.

However, any other skills beyond being attractive are simply non-existent. She seems dumb as a brick on TD, she lied about her dancing ability to her boss, she can't wrassle to save her life. Eva Marie is pure eye candy and nothing more. In an effort to perhaps broaden my perspective and viewpoint, I've consulted a special expert panel to weigh in on her. Here are the results of said panel: 

TehJerichoFan (now called "Callisto"): She's queen; I'm all for her being Divas Champ tbh
Calahart: red hair
HunterHearstHelmsley: Stupidest person on earth; natural heel
SoupBro (who paused momentarily from praising the sun): Goddess
Calahart: be sure to include "red hair" I'm counting on you

Just like my opinion on her, the praise is mixed. Accordingly, she get's a middle-of-the-road rating: 

:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly / 5


----------



## CALΔMITY (Sep 25, 2012)

Best. Expert. Panelist. Ever. :lelbrock


----------



## Magic (Feb 28, 2009)

review the kobe smileys pls.


----------



## Skins (Jan 3, 2012)

ZOMBO said:


> This was a chatbox request from yesterday, and I took the final, cohesive request as opposed to the jumbled mess of sentences that was SKINS initial request.
> 
> Anyways, Eva Marie's overall review is likely going to end somewhere in the middle. Her looks, my gawd, are off the charts. It's easy to see why WWE is keeping her around for a cable TV show in an effort to attract the male demographic. She's definitely a looker, no issues there.
> 
> ...


:banderas


----------



## Buttermaker (Sep 29, 2009)

Review your favourite beer and why I used a u in the word favourite.


----------



## STEVALD (Oct 11, 2011)

*Review Dominika C's vagina.*


----------



## Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jan 28, 2010)

Magic said:


> review the kobe smileys pls.


:kobe9:kobe4:kobe11:kobe5:kobe10:kobe8:kobe3:kobe2:kobe7:kobe6:kobe​
The award for most smilies on WrestlingForum goes to Kobe Bryant, and it is probably the factoid / statistic that he treasures more than even his MVP awards and championships. Technically, he appears in this one too: 

:udfk​
The fact that one man's face has spawned so many smilies on a wrestling website speaks primarily to the expressiveness and intensity with which Kobe conveys emotion. The fact that he's an intensely competitive athlete helps create situations where these emotions can come out, and the fact that he is one of the best players of all time ensures that a camera will constantly be on him to capture these moments of expression. 

Many of the smilies are useful on here too. :kobe2 is a simple way for a user to indicate resentment towards another's opinion. That's pure fire right there.

:kobe6 is a way for a user to show extreme disappointment in something, perhaps a missed opportunity. 

:kobe is perhaps the most useful, a simple "The FUCK?" man, to question the comment of another user. 

At the same time, others are a little redundant, expressing a similar emotion with the same face. Personally, I'd remove a few of the Kobe smilies and reel in some of the craziness. Accordingly, I'm tempted to give it a 3 rating only.

:kobe :kobe11​
Okay, okay. Sorry Mamba.

:kobe3:kobe3:kobe3:kobe3 / 5


----------



## Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jan 28, 2010)

Takers Revenge said:


> Review your favourite beer and why I used a u in the word favourite.


This is tricky, I don't necessarily have one dominant favourite. I go through different phases, and I haven't tried a whole ton of beers outside of my comfort zone. Also, reviewing a beer that I consider my favourite is likely going to be a rating of 5. I'll do it anyways. 

There are a few brands that I have on-hand at my house at any given time. Sleeman Cream Ale. Alexander Keith's IPA, Rickard's Red are always on hand. Bud Light sometimes. Corona in the summer. However, these all fall to the beer that I first enjoyed and still have to this day. It runs in the family, with my father and brother being big fans of it as well: Old Vienna, or, "OV" as it's commonly known.








It originated in Ohio, and was apparently distributed to the Windsor-area in Canada for sometime and not much elsewhere. It's apparently now produced by Molson. It's a low-cost beer that I frankly enjoy more than each of the other beers listed in the paragraph above. I don't mind paying more for beers that I like, but the fact that OV is relatively cheap is simply a bonus. It's smooth, has some nice flavour, and goes well before, during, and after dinner. The others are a little more exclusive. Rickards, for instance, I'll leave until after dinner due to its "heavy" nature. Corona I'll drink only before dinner because it's so light. You get the point.

It's unfortunate that OV isn't known in too many markets. Just last year at a bar in Toronto, I asked for an OV. The bartender looked at me as if I was from fucking Pluto or something. Never heard of it. Ah well. Anyways, it's versatile, tasty, and can always be found in my fridge. 




































/ 5



STEVIE SWAG said:


> *Review Dominika C's vagina.*


I'm not sure who Dominika C is, but the fact that she has no last name, and the fact that you're asking me to review her vagina implies that it's not something I could really look up at work, and would likely veer this thread far and away from my PG realm.


----------



## STEVALD (Oct 11, 2011)

ZOMBO said:


>


:lelbrock

*Okay, then review Brock's roar pls :brock*


----------



## CALΔMITY (Sep 25, 2012)

STEVIE SWAG said:


> :lelbrock
> 
> *Okay, then review Brock's roar pls :brock*


Oh lawd. :jericho4


----------



## Klee (Oct 28, 2011)

Please review Brian Pillman.


----------



## Buttermaker (Sep 29, 2009)

That's funny you say OV. Around where I live all the little farming communities all have there little quirks i guess and one of the quirks of the towns to the east is they all live and die by OV.. That's there go to beer all the time. Personally I like OV but I can't go all night on OV like I can other beer.. OV and my colon don't have a working relationship.


----------



## Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jan 28, 2010)

STEVIE SWAG said:


> *Okay, then review Brock's roar pls :brock*


Brock Lesnar's weird roar has evolved over the years. Here are exhibits A and B.

A: 




B: 




As it is clear, somehow Brock's "high-pitched but still clearly a man" roar has evolved (devolved??) into something that youtube user MaxBrilhart aptly titled a baby scream. How does the legitimate scariest badass on the WWE roster make a noise like that? I mean, it defies logic. 

Then again, Brock does have a weirdly-pitched voice when he's talking normally. It's higher than you'd expect, coming from this giant mass of muscle, so maybe the scream is just what happens when a high-pitched voice dude goes to scream like a banshee. 

Unfortunately, in Brock's role as an "ass-kicker" or the "beast incarnate", a scream at such a high pitch is hardly befitting. The monster aura that surrounds him instantly dissipates into laughter or shock, or some kind of combination thereof, and it actually kinda ruins whatever intense or awesome thing he's doing. I mean, nobody remembers him hoisting giant-ass Mark Henry WIT DA GREATEST OF EASE onto his shoulders, and then dropping Henry to the ground. No, we remember the baby scream. Due to this, I must rate how the scream affects Lesnar from a character perspective, and it can only get a:

:lelbrock / 5

The comedy rating would be much higher, of course.


----------



## TKOK (Apr 6, 2006)

review brock's :lelbrock face


----------



## Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jan 28, 2010)

Klee said:


> Please review Brian Pillman.


Well, I know precious little beyond the few articles that are hazy in my memory, but research be damned, these reviews are about my opinions and not factual accuracy. I vaguely remember Pillman and Austin in WCW, and they were okay, but they didn't really catch my young eye at the time. When Pillman went to ECW, I didn't really watch a whole lot of that either, so I can't comment a whole ton on that. Damn near everything I saw of Pillman took place in WWF, as it was.

One of the feuds I remember him in was between him and Goldust. I don't remember if they were fighting over Marlena, or possession of Marlena, or something completely different. I do know that it led to Pillman ending up wearing a dress on TV at various times. I remember him as the "loose cannon". I remember the gun incident with Stone Cold. It was pretty gripping TV at the time. He was a damn fine promo cutter, in the sense that I genuinely thought he was nuts. He was solid in the ring. I never considered him "oh my gawd the best ever", but he definitely caught my eye later on. 

I once again paid large sums of MY OWN MONEY to assemble an expert research crew to give an informed, insightful opinion on Pillman. Here are the results:

*Oxi*: absolute pioneer of the business 4/5 chris holly's
*Calahart*: I know nothing of him except his hair is messy, bleached, he looks like a weirdo BUT he looks like the type of guy who would be crazy fierce in the ring
*HunterHearstHelmsley*: Not enough knowledge of Pillman; Except the commentary during the "Pillmans' got a gun" segment and Kevin Kelly :lmao I'm watching that segment again; Kevin Kelly "OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD!" :lmao 

I can't argue with the experts, or my own gut feeling. 

:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly / 5


----------



## obby (May 19, 2009)

review

ZOMBO.COM


----------



## Klee (Oct 28, 2011)

ZOMBO said:


> Well, I know precious little beyond the few articles that are hazy in my memory, but research be damned, these reviews are about my opinions and not factual accuracy. I vaguely remember Pillman and Austin in WCW, and they were okay, but they didn't really catch my young eye at the time. When Pillman went to ECW, I didn't really watch a whole lot of that either, so I can't comment a whole ton on that. Damn near everything I saw of Pillman took place in WWF, as it was.
> 
> One of the feuds I remember him in was between him and Goldust. I don't remember if they were fighting over Marlena, or possession of Marlena, or something completely different. I do know that it led to Pillman ending up wearing a dress on TV at various times. I remember him as the "loose cannon". I remember the gun incident with Stone Cold. It was pretty gripping TV at the time. He was a damn fine promo cutter, in the sense that I genuinely thought he was nuts. He was solid in the ring. I never considered him "oh my gawd the best ever", but he definitely caught my eye later on.
> 
> ...


I really appreciate your honesty here Zombo. 

The guest reviewers have done a stellar job of summarising what three noobs know about Brian Pillman. Fair effort. (_please review their efforts if you get a chance ZOMBO._)

He's one of my absolute favourites, mainly at a time he was having matches with Flair in WCW and I was like 8 or 9 or something and he was the real deal for me. Awesome high flyer. The following is a match with Jushin Thunder Liger. 



^ I hope that worked. Beaut.


----------



## Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jan 28, 2010)

DARTH COCK said:


> review brock's :lelbrock face


I mean, it's a real funny fucking face. I prefer the rustling version of it, myself. 








Like Brock's voice, it brings me much laughter to see a big, intimidating dude look so goddamn stupid. I love it.

:lelbrock:lelbrock:lelbrock:lelbrock:lelbrock / 5



obby said:


> review
> 
> ZOMBO.COM


Wow, I hadn't stumbled across this site before this (I don't know how...), but it is a thing of beauty. The colours are mesmerizing, the layout is clean and simple, very easy to navigate. And finally, there's the voice.

Ah the voice. It's so soothing, yet empowering. Serene, yet chaotic. If this isn't the closest approximation to the "voice of God" that I've heard, then I don't know what is. It's so inspirational too, in the messages delivered. "You can do anything". You're goddamn right, including review all the shit I want to on WrestlingForum. 

Thank you, creator of Zombo.com. You've done the name proud.

:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly / 5


----------



## Flux (Sep 4, 2010)

Review the process of reviewing


----------



## Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jan 28, 2010)

FLUX said:


> Review the process of reviewing


I don't mind it. I feel TERRIBLE when I see a request for topics that I literally have no idea what to write about, and have to decline. I think the first person I had to do that for was Froot, and I'll always keep that sorrowful feeling in my heart. 

Other than that, I feel that I've developed a textbook approach. I like to reflect on how the subject matter has influenced my life, if at all. I try to inject a little humour into my reviews, and also enjoy going off on my overly long depressing tangents sometimes (see my review of Scissors) which is somehow funny to do, at least in my own head. Sometimes I'll share a personal anecdote on a subject matter, which I feel allows me to make a greater connection to both the request itself and my audience. 

Ultimately, what is key is the audience, and being aware of it. You guys deserve only the best, and I'm doing my very hardest to accommodate each request in a timely and thoughtful fashion. It's difficult, given my job and time constraints, but I feel that you guys get the sense that I'm trying. As long as my effort remains strong, I hope that the requests keep coming in and you all don't get too bored with me. 

Those guest experts who appear on my vaunted expert panels are often injected for comedic purposes as much as they are for actual assistance in producing a review. It means a lot to me whenever I solicit the chatbox for anyone's opinions and get responses so quickly. I like to be engaged with my audience as often as possible. I take feedback seriously (ie: Evo's comment on giving out too many 5 chrishollys) and hope to be able to continue to provide a source for WrestlingForum's demand for quality reviews on a variety of topics.

The process, however, can always be improved. So, for now, I give my process a humble:

:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly / 5


----------



## Buttermaker (Sep 29, 2009)

Zombo review Pearl Jams album Ten and there placement amongst the big 4 of early 90's Grunge music, Nirvana, Soundgarden and Alice in Chains.


----------



## CALΔMITY (Sep 25, 2012)

Klee said:


> I really appreciate your honesty here Zombo.
> 
> *The guest reviewers have done a stellar job of summarising what three noobs know about Brian Pillman.* Fair effort. (_please review their efforts if you get a chance ZOMBO._)
> 
> ...


----------



## TAR (Jan 1, 2012)

Review the Creative Oxi: A Mostly Picture Book thread


----------



## Oxidamus (Jan 30, 2012)

Klee said:


> The guest reviewers have done a stellar job of summarising what three noobs know about Brian Pillman. Fair effort. (_please review their efforts if you get a chance ZOMBO._)


I think I hit the nail on the head.



TAR said:


> Review the Creative Oxi: A Mostly Picture Book thread


Let's not make this any more uncomfortable than it already is. :ayoade


----------



## TAR (Jan 1, 2012)

Has to be done :ayoade


----------



## obby (May 19, 2009)

Review the worst movie you've ever seen?


----------



## STEVALD (Oct 11, 2011)

*Review my new BTB *


----------



## Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jan 28, 2010)

Takers Revenge said:


> Zombo review Pearl Jams album Ten and there placement amongst the big 4 of early 90's Grunge music, Nirvana, Soundgarden and Alice in Chains.


Pearl Jam: one of my favourite musical acts of all time. Pearl Jam's Ten. One of my favourite albums and one of the biggest influences in my early music-listening forays. It came out in 91, when I was six. I probably wasn't properly "aware" of it until much later on, maybe even not until the late-ish 90s when I bought it. When I think of Ten, I associate it at a time when I was probably about 12-13 years old, which puts me listening to it in about 1997-98. 

The album contained a number of Pearl Jam's massive commercial hits, as well as my favourite song by them - Oceans. I haven't listened to the actual CD in probably well over ten years now, but I'm fairly certain I could recite each line to the majority of this CD. Tracks 1-8 and 10 are certainly in my head to this day. 

I don't know why it took me until the late-90s to actually beginning listening to Grunge music, but it did resonate with me in a way that nothing else did at the time. Later on, my tastes changed and evolved, but my early teenage years were DEFINED by the listening extensively to the bands you listed in your request. I enjoyed all of them for different reasons. Nirvana was the flame that burned the hottest but also the quickest. For me, Pearl Jam has been consistently something great, and a source of music that I listen to until the present day. Alice in Chains was awesome, awesome as well. I'd put Soundgarden at the bottom of the four, not because I don't like them, but simply due to the stiffness of competition. 

Ten, when I got into it, was my favourite cd for many years. Having expanded my musical interests in a tremendous number of decades (and genres), it probably still has a place in my top 5 albums ever. It would DEFINITELY be in the top 10 list. Fun to sing along with, fun to just listen to, and awesome when heard in concert, I'ma give this album all the praise I can.

:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly / 5



TAR said:


> Review the Creative Oxi: A Mostly Picture Book thread





Oxi said:


> Let's not make this any more uncomfortable than it already is. :ayoade





TAR said:


> Has to be done :ayoade


Well... :argh:

The thread kinda felt stalkerish, but in the nicest way possible. (?)

It also led to KLEE's pronouncement of ZOMBOXI, which is difficult to accept. I have nothing against Oxi, but I don't know if I'm ready for a full-time WF commitment at this time. It's not YOU, OXI, it's ME. Unfortunately, others have picked up on this creation and I'm tied into this thing now in spite of it being a kind of one-sided creation. Shucks.

The response to the thread went as expected. The masses were not amused, and I don't necessarily blame them. I don't typically enjoy stories about other forum members, unless said story takes place in RANTS, and someone is getting EXPOSED. This was sometimes funny, but sometimes a little creepy. Thank you Oxi, for your support of my endeavors, but... yeah, maybe the fan-fiction stories can be put on hold indefinitely.

:argh: / 5




obby said:


> Review the worst movie you've ever seen?


That title goes to the 2007 movie Transmorphers. I'm typically a big fan of movies that are "so bad they're funny", and PROUDLY admit to have purchased Boa vs. Python (2004) as well as Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus (2009) when they first came out. I get plenty of enjoyment out of those stupid ass movies, and happily declare that I was into them well before Sharknado became a thing last year.

All that said, Transmorphers. Uggh. This movie was so bad, it stayed bad. I remember watching it by myself when I first popped the dvd in. Less than an hour and a half of running time seemed pretty standard, as these movies don't tend to be too long or plot-driven.

I wanted to quit after 15 minutes.

The graphics were unwatchable. The acting was beyond terrible. The dialogue wasn't even cheesy, just plain awful. There were utterly NO REDEEMABLE ASPECTS TO THIS MOVIE. 

What I watched that night is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever seen. At no point in this rambling, incoherent film was it even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone who has seen it is now dumber for having viewed it. I award Transmorphers no points, and may God have mercy on its soul.



STEVIE SWAG said:


> *Review my new BTB *


http://www.wrestlingforum.com/booker/1083081-dub-dub-yeee-not-just-another-wrestling-story.html

I honestly haven't really ventured into the Be The Booker section at all. I don't know how it works or what is going on, and I don't really know what you were doing here. Incest jokes. Heel turns. Announcements. 

Like I said, it was utter confusion to me, but I was laughing and entertained. Much better than Transmorphers. 

:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly / 5


----------



## CALΔMITY (Sep 25, 2012)

ZOMBO said:


> Well... :argh:
> 
> The thread kinda felt stalkerish, but in the nicest way possible. (?)
> 
> ...





Spoiler: #teamzomboxi


----------



## Klee (Oct 28, 2011)

Hey ZOMBO, could you please review the music genre of *hardstyle*. This was my life (a way of life if you will) for a period of 4 or so years and was the only thing Id listen to and I'd go to multiple raves every year, across europe. 

My particular favourite being SENSATION BLACK in the Amsterdam Arena. GOAT!

If you haven't heard any of it, please indulge in some Hardstyle or Hard Trance and ee what you think.

It's a rareity these days that'll I'll listen to it at home, but I'll still venture to a rave if it warrants it. 

If you don't know anything about the above, review *Fuck the System (FTS) by SHOWTEK*. Thanks


----------



## STEVALD (Oct 11, 2011)

ZOMBO said:


> http://www.wrestlingforum.com/booker/1083081-dub-dub-yeee-not-just-another-wrestling-story.html
> 
> I honestly haven't really ventured into the Be The Booker section at all. I don't know how it works or what is going on, and I don't really know what you were doing here. Incest jokes. Heel turns. Announcements.
> 
> ...


*That was the point :chrisholly*


----------



## Mikey2Likely (Dec 19, 2013)

I just spent the better part of an hour of my workday reading this entire thread, it was absolutely wonderful! I appreciate your dedication sir. I would ask you to review my work skills, but apparently they are a abomination... 

That being said...

Please review Weird Al Yankovic!


----------



## Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jan 28, 2010)

Klee said:


> Hey ZOMBO, could you please review the music genre of *hardstyle*. This was my life (a way of life if you will) for a period of 4 or so years and was the only thing Id listen to and I'd go to multiple raves every year, across europe.
> 
> My particular favourite being SENSATION BLACK in the Amsterdam Arena. GOAT!
> 
> ...


I don't know anything about it, so I did some METICULOUS research, listening to at least two minutes of EACH of the following videos. 


















So yeah, I've never been to a rave. It's not really my bag, I don't think. The music is kinda catchy for the aforementioned 2 minute range, but then I quickly lose interest. I suppose the "live" experience would be different with scantily-clad females bouncing around, which can't hurt. I can't see myself finding much personal enjoyment just bouncing around for hours on end to the sound of robots having sex. 

I asked my EXPERT REVIEW panel if they knew anything about "hardstyle" music. This is the data compiled after some further meticulous study:
*Calahart*: no
*AlienBountyHunter*: Never heard of it

So, I can see how it'd be an 'escape' or something for a certain demographic of people, but that's a demographic I've never been a part of. As this is my personal review, I give 'hardstyle' a regretful

:chrisholly:chrisholly / 5


----------



## Buttermaker (Sep 29, 2009)

Get great review of my request. Superb as always.


----------



## Hamada (Aug 17, 2008)

REVIEW TOM HUDDLESTONE.


----------



## Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jan 28, 2010)

Mikey2Likely said:


> Please review Weird Al Yankovic!


Weird Al. Damn. I haven't heard that name in YEARS now. I mean, there's probably a justifiable reason for that, but I'll try to recall what he was like at the height of his quirky, goofy heyday. 

I remember a friend of mine having a cd of Weird Al's, and first listening to it on a trip to a baseball tournament somewhere in Michigan. It was the CD where he sang about Jurassic Park, and it was funny enough to 9 or 10 year-old me. So, that's kind of memorable I guess. Amish Paradise was money back in the day too. Killer music video and everything. 






Just a little example for all you youngins who missed out, although I guess "White and Nerdy" happened just a few years back, so it's likely everyone has heard him by now. The parodies were harmless enough, and they weren't really put out with any intent to hate on the original artists or whatever. I don't recall him getting into any trouble for raping anyone or stealing shit in his older years, so I assume he just kinda goes around spreading his positive message by making people laugh. I'm fine with that. 

So yeah, I'll give Weird Al an unimpressive but inoffensive

:chrisholly:chrisholly / 5



Hamada said:


> REVIEW TOM HUDDLESTONE.


The GOAT of Hull City's beloved football program. The man in my sig. The man who had the HuddleFro. Arguably the greatest footballer of all time, easily above greats like Maradona, Pele, Zidane, Paolo Maldini, and other players I've heard a couple people talk about (Davor Suker and Roberto Baggio spring to the forefront of my mind). 

His hair was the greatest, until he predictably scored and shaved it. But it's probably still the greatest, simply because it has the potential to be a HuddleFro all over again. He raises money for charity just from a haircut. He probably cures lepers, turns water into wine and feeds the masses with just a small amount of food. He is a sign of hope and inspiration to the beloved Hull City masses, as well as the city of Kingston Upon Hull (Yes, I know they're the same)

Anyways, before any claims of bias set in to my review, I'll turn it over to an esteemed EXPERT panel for their thoughtful comments on the GOAT, Tom Huddlestone. 

*Shepard*: i wish sunderland had signed him
*HunterHearstHelmsley*: GOAT HAIR
*THE DARK ANDRE*: his mobility reminds me of a tank going up a hill; and karen brady once proclaimed that a fat birmingham player with 20% body fat must have eaten huddlestone during pre season; he's a brilliant passer of the ball for such a fuckern chubster

Well there you have it. Tom Huddlestone is a TANK that utterly RUNS OVER the opposition, who act like SCARED COWARDS by heading uphill. No matter. Huddlestone will catch you. And he'll also lead Hull City to both the Premier League and the Champions League titles before 2014 is up. Mark my words. 

:hudd:hudd:hudd:hudd:hudd / 5


----------



## CALΔMITY (Sep 25, 2012)

God, Weird Al. :lol

I didn't listen to a whole lot of his stuff growing up, but I loved what I did hear. Some of the best parody music I've ever heard.


----------



## Oxidamus (Jan 30, 2012)

Review vanilla coca-cola.

If you've never had it, review your failure of a soda experience.


----------



## CALΔMITY (Sep 25, 2012)

No oxi he needs to do my soda request first.










Edit: Nevermind. You win this one Oxi.


----------



## Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jan 28, 2010)

Oxi said:


> Review vanilla coca-cola.
> 
> If you've never had it, review your failure of a soda experience.


Now Vanilla Coke, I have had, but it's been quite a few years. To give an idea of how many years, we used to mix vanilla coke with vodka as teenagers, before we learned that you could just get vanilla-flavoured vodka. I'm 28 now, so this is going back a good 10+ years. I do know I've gotten drunk a good number of times as a youngster with Vanilla Coke mixed in my system, so that's gotta count for something.

I probably drank the stuff just for the hell of it too. I was a massive pop fiend growing up (in spite of the lack of cherry Dr. Pepper in my life - sorry Calahart), so it wouldn't surprise me if I consumed quite a bit in my youth. I remember, however, that eventually the Vanilla Coke experience soured on me. It got too syrupy, too heavy to drink regularly. The day came where I had it no more, and it's been at least the aforementioned 10+ years since my last sip. 

I'd place it at about a 2 rating, but I'll consult my EXPERT PANEL before making any final decision on the matter. Due to the time that's elapsed since my last taste, I'll give considerable weight to the well-researched comments below. Additionally, this is EASILY the largest and highest-paid EXPERT PANEL to date. A big thanks for all the contributions: 

*Lutece*: its the fucking shit, and anyone who's tried vanilla coke and doesnt like it is a ******, theres your comments Zombo; IT'S ALWAYS SUNNY WITH A BOTTLE OF VANILLA C

*HayleySabin* (_all this is written by him_): "VANILLA COKE = SEX w/PANTHERS...IT'S A LIQUID SEX PANTHER." - HayleySabin

*KLEE*: I have something to say ZOMBO. Vanilla is the greatest flavouring of all, so "IT'S AWESOME!"

*L-DOPA*: vanilla coke is nice

*Calahart*: I first had vanilla coke in my high school years of 2003-2007. I thought it was going to be nasty shite....but little did I know....that it was heaven in my mouth.

*Zombie Apocalypse*: I would say that trying Vanilla Coke was suggested to me by a crazy chick I once knew that was married to me in her own mind. In spite of that, I thought it was quite good. (Y)

Well, with all that in mind, I will allow my EXPERTS to bump my personal rating by a TWO FULL POINTS. This is rare, rare accomplishment and it may be eons before it happens again. Accordingly, Vanilla Coke gets:

:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly / 5


----------



## CALΔMITY (Sep 25, 2012)

Review Furbies.


----------



## Obfuscation (Apr 15, 2006)

I can vouch. Stand by my claims.

Classic review among the archives.


----------



## Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jan 28, 2010)

Calahart said:


> Review Furbies.









​These pimped out little guys hit the scene big time towards the latter years of my elementary school experience. Being a bit older than the target market at the time, I don't really remember the Furby craze affecting the girls (and boys? Did boys get these things?) around my age. 

I will say that Furbies are cute little bastards. Look at that little fella. Can't hate that face. I remember that these things were THE SHIT because they were able to talk. Not English, mind you, but they're own little furby language. They could blink, move their mouths and wiggle their ears. Quite an impressive display of artificial intelligence.  

However, I was never a Furby owner. I was too busy playing with GI Joes or sweet Sega games (or N64 by that time, as it were). I have no emotional ties to Furbies. I have no memories of Furby except that little blank stare from commercials. I'd give them a 1, but I'll recognize that they have a place in technology history. I declare Furbies to be:

:chrisholly:chrisholly / 5


----------



## CALΔMITY (Sep 25, 2012)

Hmmm...

Okay I accept this.
Thank you Zombo. This more than makes up for my failure of a soda request.


----------



## Chip Kelly (Feb 14, 2012)

Review heroin and crack-cocaine. Never tried them but judging by the amount of repeat customers, i assume its pretty great.


----------



## obby (May 19, 2009)

Weird Al deserved better.

Review Manchester United.


----------



## Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jan 28, 2010)

Chip Kelly said:


> Review heroin and crack-cocaine. Never tried them but judging by the amount of repeat customers, i assume its pretty great.


I'm with you in the never tried them category, but I think I can safely say that both must be awesome. My assumption comes down two a couple important pieces of media in my life: Scarface, and The Wire. 

One of my favourite movies involved an INSPIRED Cuban go-getter making a life for himself and his family. Let's face it: we ALL wish we were Tony Montana. Starting off with nothing but our word and our balls and ending up in a palatial home, owning a tiger, chilling in your bathroom jacuzzi watching TV and banging a young Michelle Pfeiffer. Guy or girl, that's YOUR dream. And what were the means of accomplishing said dream? Aside from a couple minor incidents (murdering, avoiding attempted murder, eventually getting murdered), it was all done through the power of cocaine. PRAISE THE COCAINE!

Now, my favourite ever TV series is The Wire. What were the drug dealers primarily slingin'? That's right: heroin. Without the Baltimore drug trade, there's no Wire. And without Wire, there's no Avon Barksdales, Omar Littles, or Proposition Joes (RIP big man). Without that, my life is a little bit less complete. So ultimately, heroin led to me having a more fulfilled, complete life. PRAISE THE HEROIN!

Due to the fact that cocaine can allow a poor immigrant to achieve the AMERICAN DREAM and that heroin has been PROVEN to provide a more well-rounded, wholesome and happy life, it is without reservation that I rate cocaine and heroin:

:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly / 5


----------



## Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jan 28, 2010)

obby said:


> Weird Al deserved better.
> 
> Review Manchester United.


Manchester United, my favourite team before Hull City became my favourite team (because they were the only ones I actually knew). David Beckham, Ryan Giggs... you know, all the greats. I think there was even a black player or two on the team then. I don't know, I never watched soccer. I had FIFA 97 or something, and I did play as Man U, so that's a very positive start. 

I also know (without researching) that they play at Old Trafford, that their manager was Sir Alex Ferguson. I bet you all are impressed now, aren't you? I think their nickname is the "Red Devils", but I'm not so sure on this fact. They also had current Ballon D'Or winner (I still claim that Huddlestone was ROBBED) Christiano Ronaldo at some point in time. Only lord knows when, though.

Accordingly, I'll turn to my TRUSTED EXPERT on all things FOOTBALL, the man you know as ROUSEY. I know him as Mozza though, and I'm sure many of you have had the pleasure of meeting his ma at some point too. 

:des

Anyways, let's see what Mozza has to say about Manchester United, given his wealth of football knowledge.

*ROUSEY*: they're fucking shite and their manager is ginge and his daughter is a fat caravan shaped headed slut

Well, I had Man U at a solid 4 ranking given their rich and wonderful history. However, Mozza's detailed review and the phrase "_fat caravan shaped headed slut_" will live on in infamy in my mind, dropping Man U down a full rating. Accordingly, they get a mediocre rating, just like their current form on the pitch: 

:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly / 5


----------



## Clique (Sep 9, 2007)

Cool deal here. Some fun reads. "Cocaine is a hell of a drug" I am told.

ZOMBO! adrian! _Friend_...

Would you be able to review BEYONCÉ? The person, the artist/performer, my sigs, whatever you like.


----------



## Headliner (Jun 24, 2004)

Zombo if you bury Beyonce I might make you a mod.


----------



## The Lady Killer (Oct 20, 2006)

:lmao


----------



## Clique (Sep 9, 2007)

Careful now. You might lose your only black friend and be looked at as a suspect racist :side:

Then again, I guess Headliner would be your new bestie if he gives you a mod position. :hmm:


----------



## Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jan 28, 2010)

Clique said:


> ZOMBO! adrian! _Friend_...
> 
> Would you be able to review BEYONCÉ? The person, the artist/performer, my sigs, whatever you like.





Headliner said:


> Zombo if you bury Beyonce I might make you a mod.





Clique said:


> Careful now. You might lose your only black friend and be looked at as a suspect racist :side:


Oh goodness, this is bad news. BRIBERY from Headliner and a THREAT from Clique. One an ADMIN and the other a SUPER MOD. However, let it be known that these reviews will NEVER fall victim to any bribery, nor will they be coerced by any threats. It is the only way to maintain the legitimacy and integrity of this thread (because if nothing else, reviewing Furby dolls is LEGIT). My review of Beyoncé commences now.

As a musical act, I quite enjoyed Destiny's Child back in the day. The songs were catchy, the videos were catchier. :curry2

But seriously, there was something that was objectively enjoyable about their music - and Beyoncé was the center of attention both vocally and on-screen. She was the hottest, that was easy to see. And she was the FIERCEST (Sasha Fierce pun intended). This translated well into her singles career, and she comes across as this driven, uber-confident, powerful woman. I have to respect that. 

That said, nowadays, pictures of her really oscillate between "wowdamn she's still amazing" and "oh geeze, those are some weird looking muscles and why is she making that face on-stage?" 



Spoiler: wowdamn she's still amazing

















Spoiler: oh geeze, those are some weird looking muscles and why is she making that face?"















I've found that the scary, muscle-Beyoncé appears with some frequency nowadays. So that's not a good thing in terms of looks. Confidence is hot. The weird muscles and faces, not so much. Clique, you definitely showcase her good material in your sigs though, I'll give you that.

At the end of the day, she's married to one of the richest dudes in America. She's one of the richest ladies in America. I don't see any articles about how she's a bad mother or anything like that, and she seems to stay away from much controversy. She does a lot of philanthropy work. All of these are positive points and indicate that she's a decent person. People that try to stir up negatives about her are likely jealous of said power and wealth. Hell, she earned it so all the power to her. 

At the end of the day, Beyoncé gets an unbiased: 

:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly / 5


----------



## Headliner (Jun 24, 2004)

Very disappointing Zombo. I'm debating whether to take my frustration out on you................Or Clique.:argh:


----------



## Clique (Sep 9, 2007)

Nice unbiased review there ZOMBO. Understandable some of B's fierceness on stage may be intimidating for some.


K you don't want none bruh. :floyd2


----------



## Hamada (Aug 17, 2008)

REVIEW ISRAEL.


----------



## obby (May 19, 2009)

Review Kobe :kobe10


----------



## TAR (Jan 1, 2012)

Review Idris Elba, the man & the actor.


----------



## CALΔMITY (Sep 25, 2012)

Scary Muscle-Byonce? :lmao
Thanks for upholding the integrity of your thread, ZOMBO. :jericho4 I was a little worried at first when reading the previous page.


----------



## Oxidamus (Jan 30, 2012)

NOT SURE HOW I FEEL ABOUT COCAINE AND HEROIN (AND BEYONCE) GETTING THE SAME AMOUNT OF CHRIS HOLLY'S AS VANILLA COKE.

DISAPPOINTED.


----------



## Callisto (Aug 9, 2009)

Surely the Beyonce assessment is the precursor to a Lady Gaga or a Madonna review.


Or so I hope. Plz. :mark:


----------



## CALΔMITY (Sep 25, 2012)

^ I am interested in this, yes.


----------



## Clique (Sep 9, 2007)

:lmao

Awesome rep gif! Thanks ZOMBO. Keep up the reviews.


----------



## Headliner (Jun 24, 2004)

Disgusted. Might have to bury Zombo in TDL to R-Truth mid card geek status for this.


----------



## charlesxo (Jun 20, 2013)

Review my avi.


----------



## Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jan 28, 2010)

Headliner said:


> Disgusted. Might have to bury Zombo in TDL to R-Truth mid card geek status for this.


enaldo



BLEU said:


> Review my avi.


There doesn't appear to be anything there? 



Hamada said:


> REVIEW ISRAEL.


When I think Israel, I think of a war-torn countryside as a result of religious ideologies clashing. The intro paragraphs on Wikipedia though state that Israel has the highest standard of living in the Middle East and the third-highest in Asia. Additionally, get this, it has one of the highest life expectancies in the world! That's what reviews are all about, learning new things and spreading that knowledge. 

I don't know how the life expectancies are so high though, with rocket attacks and other militant shit happening all the time. Personally, I prefer eating like a glutton, drinking like a fish and dying of cancer after a lifetime of peace when I'm 65 here in Canada rather than dodging mortar shells and warring factions until I'm 90 there. For a "Holy Land", there sure is a lot of violence. Also, I hope I live longer than 65, but shit happens.

I'm also easily confused from the reports that I half-listen to when they come on TV. Words like Hamas and Hezbollah and the "Gaza strip" are just that to me - words. This may come across as ignorant to some, but I mean, I'm reviewing an entire nation based off of a couple paragraphs on Wikipedia. Of course I'm grossly misinformed. 

Overall, my impressions of Israel are that there's a lot of religious extremism surrounding it, making a potentially Holy Land a melting pot for violence justified by various differing notions of "God" or gods. That just doesn't sit comfortably in my gut. It's probably a wonderful spot for a honeymoon though.

:chrisholly:chrisholly / 5


----------



## sexytyrone97 (Apr 2, 2012)

ZOMBO said:


> enaldo
> 
> 
> 
> There doesn't appear to be anything there?












[NOTE:] This is my reaction to the review, not BLEU's smiley. :side:

Review MY avatar pls.


----------



## Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jan 28, 2010)

obby said:


> Review Kobe :kobe10


The Black Mamba. The man with the most smilies on WF. Vino. KOBE.

I mean, he's been consistently one of the best players year in and year out every year he's played in the NBA. One of the ALL-TIME greats. The thing I like about Kobe is his competitive fire, a level that you only see that visceral in some of the legends. Jordan had that fire. There's ANGER inside that greatness, which fuels even further greatness. His desire to take the final shot of games - to be the assassin - is admirable. Some guys become snakebitten at the end of games. Kobe IS the snake. That's why the Mamba moniker is so fitting. 

It's not just the attitude either, or the talent, or the awards and championships and accolades. No. It's the Kobe System. Those commercials were funny as shit. Love seeing that side of the Mamba too. You're welcome. 

However, I don't want this to become a mere Kobe slurp-off. I'll turn to my UNBIASED PANEL of EXPERTS for further counsel on Kobe:

*Bob-Carcass*: kobe is just a name to me I hate American sports :lol sorry

*Oxi*: Magic's use of Kobe smileys make me feel both uncomfortable and hungry for Reese's Puffs.

*AwShit*: "I stole the ball off him in NBA 2K13, but missed the lay-up."

*Pratchett*: Kobe can imitate the moves that Jordan used to do, but Kobe is not JORDAN. Also - Jordan sported a Hitler mustache for a while. If Kobe tried that, he would be buried. Enough said.

*Calahart*: At some point of his career he was extremely popular. A household name, even. Not quite on the level of Jordan, but he was who everyone talked about for a while. I guess he's still kinda popular maybe, but his time in the limelight surely has passed.

*STEVIE SWAG*: kobe kingston? :kobe3

A special thanks to my esteemed panel for their thoughtful insight. I find it interesting that nobody brought up the fact that he cheated on his wife seemingly multiple times, and even accused of rape (which he settled out of court). You can't be doing that stuff and maintain a 5 rating! C'mon KOBE!!

:kobe11:kobe11:kobe11:kobe11 / 5



TAR said:


> Review Idris Elba, the man & the actor.


*This review contains plot spoilers for The Wire. If you haven't seen it, but want to see it, I suggest skipping this read for now.*

My mainest man, Stringer Bell. I've only seen one other movie with Stringer in it, and it was Takers. Paul Walker (RIP in Peace) was also in that one. I do want to see Pacific Rim, but haven't got around to it yet. Regardless, I'm qualified for this review. 

Stringer was one of the coolest, swaggest characters on The Wire. Idris pulled that off WITH DA GREATEST OF EASE. He was basically playing himself, I think. Stone Cold once said that the best characters were just someone's personality turned to 11. That's Stringer Bell for Idris Elba. The hit he ordered on D'Angelo, while STICKING IT TO HIS WIFE? That's some cold-blooded gangsta shit right there. Putting Brother and Omar against each other (even if it came back to be his ultimate undoing), that's some level-headed thinking-man's shit right there. 

Anyways, I assume Idris is like that in real life too. I hope he becomes the first black James Bond. I'll turn to my trusty EXPERTS now though for further insight into Idris Elba, the man, the actor: 

*Bob-Carcass*: Genuienly never heard of idris elba

*Oxi*: TAR thinks he's denzel washington

*AwShit*: "What's Elba? Idris classy."

*Pratchett*: Idris Elba is probably on a show I don't watch. But he looks cool.

*Calahart*: He's the Heimdall dude from Thor and that is pretty badass.

Comparisons to Denzel and winning over people getting their first look at Idris is nothing but high compliments in my book. Stringer Bell, I toast you with: 




































/ 5


----------



## Oxidamus (Jan 30, 2012)

Rate/Review* The Ascension*.


----------



## obby (May 19, 2009)

Stringer got his in the end.

Get on with it moth-


----------



## Pratchett (Jan 9, 2013)

Review *Star Wars*.

I want to see if you are truly my friend, or just a guy on the internet stringing me along.


----------



## Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jan 28, 2010)

Callisto said:


> Surely the Beyonce assessment is the precursor to a Lady Gaga or a Madonna review.
> 
> 
> Or so I hope. Plz. :mark:












Frankly, I don't care for either one of them personally. However, I understand and accept their role / place on the pop pantheon. Madonna would probably get 2-3, and Gaga would get 1-2. I'd rather not review them in depth.



AwShit said:


> Review MY avatar pls.


I mean, it's just Homer Simpson's head. Also, I fear that since this was in direct result of BLEU's post that a trend might begin, and I want to nix it now. *I ask that I don't receive a bunch of requests for reviews of avatars and sigs, only because it's such a quick way to spam reviews.* I liken it to the "review me plz" requests that I had to put an end to earlier. 



Oxi said:


> Rate/Review* The Ascension*.


A legitimate request, but I haven't watched NXT since the first few episodes of NXT: Redemption. I think I saw a picture of Connor O'Brien in some crazy outfit (which I assume is his Ascension garb), so that was sweet. I liked O'Brien well enough from his time on the NXT shows that I watched. I don't know who O'Brien's partner is.

:draper2

It's been awhile since there's been a good vampire gimmick in WWE. That's what these guys are, right? Vampires or something? Either way, why not capitalize off of Twilight's popularity and add a few vampires or werewolves to WWE's mix? BRING BACK CHARACTER-BASED WRESTLERS! Then we could fantasy-book The Mountie vs. Connor "The Werewolf" O'Brien, which essentially involves O'Brien trying to bite and scratch for all of his offence. Lots of howling too. 

So, I guess this isn't reviewing The Ascension, proper, but I'm all for the gimmick generally. Especially if it results in quick countouts from guys running away from a werewolf-man trying to scratch and bite them.

:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly / 5


----------



## CALΔMITY (Sep 25, 2012)

Review *The Undertaker*.

I'd like to see you'd say about my favorite wrestlah of all the times.


----------



## charlesxo (Jun 20, 2013)

ZOMBO said:


> There doesn't appear to be anything there?


:kobe




























































:kobe



























































:kobe



























































:kobe



























































:kobe



























































:kobe



























































:kobe
pls go


----------



## CALΔMITY (Sep 25, 2012)

Y JAGER
Was all that even necessary

I think you need to calm the fuck down.


----------



## charlesxo (Jun 20, 2013)

Yes


----------



## Pratchett (Jan 9, 2013)

Mike Litoris pls


----------



## CALΔMITY (Sep 25, 2012)

BLEU said:


> Yes


anda


----------



## Trublez (Apr 10, 2013)

His lifetime premium banner is his avy, how fucking slow are you guys?

Also, review wrestlingforum.com plz.


----------



## CALΔMITY (Sep 25, 2012)

Clever.


----------



## charlesxo (Jun 20, 2013)

Trublez said:


> *His lifetime premium banner is his avy*, how fucking slow are you guys?


*Kobe face wall of questioning*


----------



## Pratchett (Jan 9, 2013)

Trublez said:


> His lifetime premium banner is his avy, how fucking slow are you guys?


Jager with the JOBBER gimmick. No buys.

Olivia Munn stunt double ftw


----------



## Obfuscation (Apr 15, 2006)

Callisto said:


> Surely the Beyonce assessment is the precursor to a Lady Gaga or a Madonna review.
> 
> 
> Or so I hope. Plz. :mark:


+1

Skip the Beyonce once b/c she's tripe.

just saw ZOMBO's reply to this. I'm never going to win when it comes to his reviews & music. Sheesh.


----------



## Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jan 28, 2010)

Zombie Apocalypse said:


> Review *Star Wars*.


:argh:

I can say the following about Star Wars: I went to the theatre to see Episode 1. I have seen bits and pieces of at least 2 (maybe all 3) of the original Star Wars movies on Spike TV. I've never watched any of the originals start to finish. I loved the movie Spaceballs.

It's strange too. I didn't not like Star Wars. Hell, I even enjoyed what I saw. Actually, I think I know why I haven't gotten into it. I'm afraid of being swept up in fandom of another massive, massive institution of North American pop culture. 

I know, I just KNOW, that if I got into Star Wars, I'd really get into it. I'd start buying novels based on the series. I'd start buying collectibles. Video games. Legos. (Legos! :mark: ) Shit's expensive, and I'd feel too old to justify getting into the Star Wars game now. When I was younger, I guess I was distracted by other things to really get into it. Now, if I have a kid someday and he / she takes interest in the series? I'll be happy to explore it then. 

In the meantime, I can't give it a super rating due to the lack of my personal attachment to it. However, I know that it's certainly not BAD, so I'm gonna put it right in the middle.

:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly / 5



Calahart said:


> Review *The Undertaker*.


I don't know how anyone can say anything bad about this guy. A true wrestling Professional. Committed to his gimmick. His locker room. His company. This is one of the easiest, and probably quickest, reviews I can give. 

Longetivity? Check. 
Working through injuries often, showing his passion throughout? Check
Doing a complete 180 on his gimmick, making it a success, and able to switch BACK?! Check.
Coolest entrances? Check check check
Epic matches? Check
Dat presence? Check.
Locker room leader? Check. 
Sweet finisher(s)? Check
Funny looking / sounding but still epic manager? Check

There's nothing bad I can say about this guy. He's been involved in some of the biggest and most memorable matches from my childhood to present. He's been an anchor for storylines as a main player on the roster for numerous years, and still sacrifices his beat up body at his advanced age once a year because he fucking can. Gotta love the Deadman. When he's truly done in the ring, it'll be a loss for wrestling.

:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly / 5


----------



## Gretchen (Jun 17, 2013)

Review this GOAT YouTube Channel:

GOAT YouTube Channel

I have heard what some members had to say some time ago, but upon seeing another GOAT post by these two today, I have decided that I cannot make up my mind on them w/o your review.


----------



## Clique (Sep 9, 2007)

:mark: Undertaker review! A superstar I always consider so great and so special that I do not compare him to the Ric Flair's or Hulk Hogan's of the wrestling world because he's in his own lane. 

ZOMBO, I have one more review request after you finish up with your other highly anticipated entries. Not a review on a celebrity, sports star, movie, food, or drug. adrian, can you review the *Wrestling Forum Staff* (individually or collectively)? Remember only an unbiased assessment.


----------



## ABrown (Jan 30, 2007)

Clique keeps putting ZOMBO in these predicaments :drake1


----------



## obby (May 19, 2009)

review this website if you aren't prone to seizures

http://www.staggeringbeauty.com/


----------



## Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jan 28, 2010)

I'll preface this by saying I'll get to Clique's request soon, maybe not until tomorrow (as my work day is winding down and I have some deadlines). I have to figure out how to tackle the request, but rest assured - it's coming.



Trublez said:


> Also, review wrestlingforum.com plz.


This wonderful site is the place that has literally brought us all together through our love of wrasslin'. As Taz would say, that's pretty cool. I chat daily with FRIENDS from all around the world, and learn that we often share much more in common than the fact that we like to watch wrestling. 

The layout is simple enough to follow. I remained a basic member for almost 3 years after signing up, and after going premium, I began to venture into the many sub-forums on this site. The Debate League is one of my favourite online things, ever, and it's been awesome to be a part of that. I'm taking place in my first MAFIA game currently. Rants is good, clean, harmless fun. Sports is a great spot to support Hull City. 

The site has its issues. Sometimes good threads get buried (BERRIED!!!!) amongst the daily rubbish. Sometimes people get legitimately mad at each other. People fake their identities. However, it's the Internet. This shit is going to happen. It's unfortunate, but it's reality. 

Overall, the good of this place easily overrides the negatives. It's a fun site to keep a tab open all day at work to check intermittently. I look forward to the interactions each day. I give WrestlingForum a deserved:

:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly / 5



RhodesForWHC said:


> Review this GOAT YouTube Channel:
> 
> GOAT YouTube Channel
> 
> I have heard what some members had to say some time ago, but upon seeing another GOAT post by these two today, I have decided that I cannot make up my mind on them w/o your review.


I remember you posting these bozos before in the Stupid Posts thread. I honestly couldn't stand them. It's just two guys who said somebody sucked because they don't like him. They would then provide reasons why people say Wrestler X is good, and write it off with intelligent arguing such as "haha no, sorry, you're wrong!" 

Just pointless and utter drivel. I didn't even click on the link to this video because I don't want to give them views. Once was enough. You asked me to review their channel, so here goes:

Assuming the channel is filled with craptastic videos like the one I saw, it's an utter waste of internet space. 

:chrisholly / 5



obby said:


> review this website if you aren't prone to seizures
> 
> http://www.staggeringbeauty.com/


Oh god almgifffttere
esdf fdf :cjoierholly
/ 5


----------



## RAB (Dec 15, 2012)

Review me, please.


----------



## Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jan 28, 2010)

Clique said:


> ZOMBO, I have one more review request after you finish up with your other highly anticipated entries. Not a review on a celebrity, sports star, movie, food, or drug. adrian, can you review the *Wrestling Forum Staff* (individually or collectively)? Remember only an unbiased assessment.


Unbiased is all I do, Clique. It's all I do.

Also, I didn't realize how much staff there was on this site: http://www.wrestlingforum.com/showgroups.php 

So, I was going to start assessing them each individually but that seems like it's too much. AW HELL LET'S GO WITH IT ANYWAYS. I'm going to tackle the list in reverse order that it's displayed, so I end with the admins. Here goes:

*The Lady Killer*: Already reviewed TLK in greater detail here: http://www.wrestlingforum.com/28176193-post120.html He got 5 stars, what more can you ask for? 

*Starbuck*: I've yet to really interact with her, as I don't post in the WWE section that often. Neutral. A 3 by default.

*Shepard*: I've seen him do a debate or two, and just started going to the Mafia section. I don't really know anything about him, but I'm going to make the uninformed guess that he's laid back. Nothing against Shep. I give him a 4.

*MrMister*: I see he's a mod for the Anything section, and he's let this thread go on and on. That earns him points. I don't know if it's simply because he's never read it though. His debate judging critiques leave something to be desired. That costs him points. 2 out of 5.

*King Cal*: Another who I've had minimal interactions with. When he appears in the cb lately, he just kinda posts Homer Simpson smilies. It doesn't offend me, but it doesn't improve my day any either. 3 out of 5.

*Joel*: Joel is a RACIST TYRANT, which somehow doesn't hurt his score. If he was just one or the other, that would be a negative. But to pull off the rare combination of being both a racist and a tyrant simultaneously? That takes balls. He's also been nice with respect to my pro-Hull City posts in the fitba thread. 4 stars out of 5.

*JM*: I don't know anything about him. Mods sports. Probably likes basketball or something. I don't. 2 out of 5. 

*i$e*: A name who is LEGENDARY in the Debate League, for reasons still unknown to me. He makes some nice banners, but I've yet to see his debating prowess. Gonna mark him low to try to antagonize him into a comeback, if he has the balls. 2 out of 5.

*Even Flow*: I literally never visit the sections he mods. I think he repped me once with kind words or an :lmao smiley. For whatever reason, I have a positive mental association with him. 3 out of 5. 

*Cleavage*: Mods the sleaziest section, so is the sleaziest staff member by default. It's a dirty job, but someone has to do it. I think he has a fair leash on letting threads go and closing down others in a very wonky section. 4 out of 5. 

*CHAMPviaDQ*: The man who created my first sig, for which I am forever grateful. The man with dem brilliant TDL banners. Got nothing against this guy, and nothing to give but praise. 5 out of 5. CHAMPviaSEXCELLENCE.

*Brye*: Another mod who I haven't really interacted with, but have a positive connotation with. Like Even Flow. 3 out of 5. 

*BKB Hulk*: Minimal, pleasant interactions in the cb. I think he laughed when I began making pro-Hull statements in sports. Seems fine to me. 4 out of 5. 

*DarkStark*: aka LadyCroft. One of the nicest mods here from when I was a basic, and the person I happily lost to for the Nicest Forum member in 2013. A deserving champion for that title. She also likes drinking, so yay. 5 out of 5. 

*Clique*: It's tough to remain unbiased when you're writing about your black best friend, because that's who you are. You extended that olive branch long, long ago, and it hasn't been forgotten. A masterful debater as well. However, I do feel that you sometimes shut down threads too soon (especially ones that have potential lulz without much harm), and that itchy trigger finger costs you a mark. 4 out of 5.

*Amber B*: Haven't interacted with Amber much, if ever. I have nothing against her, per se, but I can't randomly justify giving anything above neutral. 3 out of 5.

*Seabs*: The driving force behind the Debate League, and one of the first staff members I interacted with after going premium. He was an integral part in this dream I had about a bWo takeover on this forum (it'll take too long to explain, plus it's purely imaginary), and he seems to have fun with his admin role. Nothing but love for Seabs. 5 out of 5. 

*Platt*: Haven't interacted with him at all, I don't think. Neutral. 3 out of 5.

*Headliner*: Another individual I've gotten to know and come to respect mainly through Debate League interaction. I feel bad knowing that everyone calls him by his initial, K, but I don't know what his name actually is. My only "infraction" on this website came from Headliner from a post I made in 2011. Someone made a silly topic, and people began posting "Meanwhile, in..." pictures, which was kind of "in" at the time. 


Spoiler: Example














Anyways, I got in trouble for spamming, and those 2 points (long since expired) sit on my CP page like a giant red mark on an otherwise clean, green, and breast-filled page. It also serves as a learning tool, so that I never repeat said transgression. You made me a better man, "K". 5 out of 5.

*Evolution*: THIS fucking guy. The biggest heel of TDL, he's a cocky son of a bitch. He plays cruel and unjustified pranks. He gave me the yellow usertitle for being Arcade champ. He hates the way I post. I hate how he hates the way I post. It's a love-hate relationship. 4 out of 5.

*Administrator*: I fear that this giant robot fucker is going to kill us all. 1 out of 5.

*IN SUMMARY*, the staff here is pretty damn good overall. I have nothing against any of them, really, except for Administrator. I think it would be a bitch to mod any major forum, but particularly one about wrasslin' which must attract as large and economically diverse crowd as any (Happy Gilmore reference, people). I, for one, would never want to have that role. So, I thank you for your efforts in doing a good job overall in making this a pleasant place to visit and spend some time each day. The aggregate average probably looks something like this: 

:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly / 5


----------



## DA (Nov 22, 2012)

ZOMBO said:


> *Shepard*
> I give him a 4.


Extremely generous score tbhendo.


----------



## Headliner (Jun 24, 2004)

Interesting. TLK and i$e don't count btw.:side:

LOL at JOHNNY MERCE getting a 2 out of 5. He's falling to jobber status.


----------



## seabs (Jun 16, 2007)

*In other words you don't know who the staff are unless they're in TDL.

Starbuck has a vagina rather than testicles btw.*


----------



## Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jan 28, 2010)

Headliner said:


> Interesting. TLK and i$e don't count btw.:side:
> 
> LOL at JOHNNY MERCE getting a 2 out of 5. He's falling to jobber status.


Anyone on the staff page counts in my books. Be a star! ositivity



Seabs said:


> *In other words you don't know who the staff are unless they're in TDL.
> 
> Starbuck has a vagina rather than testicles btw.*


And yeah, pretty much. I'm really only active in TDL and the cb. And this fucking thread. :no:

And did not know that about Starbuck. Will make the necessary edits.


----------



## Emperor Palpatine (Aug 2, 2003)

3/5? I'll take it!


----------



## Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jan 28, 2010)

RAB said:


> Review me, please.


----------



## Magic (Feb 28, 2009)

did you just give a 5/5 to everyone you know really well and random ratings to everyone you don't? :lmao


I wouldn't call that unbiased. :kobe10


----------



## obby (May 19, 2009)

MrMister got robbed.

Not a basketball fan, ZOMBO? :kobe11


----------



## CALΔMITY (Sep 25, 2012)

ZOMBO said:


> I don't know how anyone can say anything bad about this guy. A true wrestling Professional. Committed to his gimmick. His locker room. His company. This is one of the easiest, and probably quickest, reviews I can give.
> 
> Longetivity? Check.
> Working through injuries often, showing his passion throughout? Check
> ...


Short and down to the point. I love you forever for this.











Clique said:


> :mark: Undertaker review! A superstar I always consider so great and so special that I do not compare him to the Ric Flair's or Hulk Hogan's of the wrestling world because he's in his own lane.


I know! I don't give a shit about ratings and all that. He definitely is incomparable and deserving of the title Locker Room Leader. Now I need to go re-watch some Undertaker vids on youtube.



obby said:


> review this website if you aren't prone to seizures
> 
> http://www.staggeringbeauty.com/


----------



## Chrome (Jan 11, 2012)

RhodesForWHC said:


> Review this GOAT YouTube Channel:
> 
> GOAT YouTube Channel
> 
> I have heard what some members had to say some time ago, but upon seeing another GOAT post by these two today, I have decided that I cannot make up my mind on them w/o your review.


:lmao at their channel cover photo.


----------



## MachoMadness1988 (Dec 3, 2011)

Good try OP but I still miss TSE. unk3

#FreeTSE


----------



## Obfuscation (Apr 15, 2006)

Review :cgm

I won't take no for an answer you nice guy, you.


----------



## Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jan 28, 2010)

If you tell me who that is, I'll review her. :draper2


----------



## CALΔMITY (Sep 25, 2012)

That is Chloë Grace Moretz . She plays as Hit-Girl.


----------



## Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jan 28, 2010)

HayleySabin said:


> Review :cgm
> 
> I won't take no for an answer you nice guy, you.


Well, then I'll do my best.

Upon being informed that that smiley person is actress Chloë Grace Moretz, I did an in-depth study on her. Fortunately, her Wikipedia entry isn't all that long. She's a 16 year old kid who has been in a whole bunch of movies that I've never seen. She gets praised a lot in reviews, and appears in LadyCroft's signature on here. 

I'm really stretching here for some kind of insight... So why not turn to my esteemed EXPERT PANEL? What kind of assistance can I find here today? 

*Calahart*: She's an adorable badass. She has pouty lips. She seems like the type of girl who can be glamorous, but tough at the same time. Not just as a character.

*Rush*: she should lock her front door otherwise cody will happen

*Kiz*: i think her back door is more in danger

*Oxi*: she's a meme, and a pedo's dream

:side:

Well, you had me review another subject matter which I know nothing of, so your request streak continues. Keep trying Cody, one day it'll happen.

:chrisholly:chrisholly / 5


----------



## Chrome (Jan 11, 2012)

Review the GOAT diva Stacy Keibler. :


----------



## Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jan 28, 2010)

Chrome said:


> Review the GOAT diva Stacy Keibler. :


Oh, Stacy Stacy Stacy. I remember her when she won the tryout to become a new Nitro Girl sometime in the late 90s. She was a favourite of mine then. Then the Miss Hancock days. OH LAWD THE MISS HANCOCK DAYS. Never knew what a skirt-suit was before that, but I knew that I loved the damn things immediately. I recall the feuds with Daffney, Major Gunns and Kimberly. It was a real good point in my life.

She somehow got hotter during her tenure in WWE, and that is SAYING SOMETHING. I was actually saddened to see her retire from wrasslin', as her appearance on TV each week was something my eyes always looked forward to. My favourite diva, lookwise, of all time. She inspired my Christmas name change, and is the only person to show up in my avatar on here besides Jericho and Ralphus. That's about the highest praise I can bestow. 

However, in an effort to keep this from being all Stacy praise, I have to keep in mind that she dated David Flair and Test, essentially cheating on me with lesser individuals. I can't hate at her dating George Clooney, as he is a superior individual. Accordingly, I'm going to have to give her a fou-








No, no, I'm going to stick to my guns and give her a fou-








NO, NOT MY CHILDHOOD! FIGHTING!! Going with a fou-








Okay, OKAY. I give in. 








:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly / 5


----------



## CALΔMITY (Sep 25, 2012)

Dem legs strike again.

What's the most recent movie you watched? Review it.


----------



## Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jan 28, 2010)

Calahart said:


> What's the most recent movie you watched? Review it.


Just last night I watched 2005's Madagascar for the first time. It was my wife's turn to pick, as I had just picked The Purge the night before. So anyways, Madagascar.

It was okay. I can see how it would be funny with children, as there were some fart jokes and other humour aimed at youngins. Most of the movie was predictable enough. I enjoyed the penguin troupe and the monkeys the most, and was saddened that their screen-time was limited. 

The main story arc between the zebra and the lion felt rushed, and the movie was fairly quick. Once again though, I think this appeals greater to children who need simplistic plot points moved quickly. 

Anyways, I laughed at some points, and never really found myself terribly bored. It was average, perfectly average. If I could give a 2.5 rating I would, but I deal with whole numbers here. 

:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly / 5


----------



## obby (May 19, 2009)

Review Kenard from The Wire.


----------



## CALΔMITY (Sep 25, 2012)

ZOMBO said:


> Just last night I watched 2005's Madagascar for the first time. It was my wife's turn to pick, as I had just picked The Purge the night before. So anyways, Madagascar.
> 
> It was okay. I can see how it would be funny with children, as there were some fart jokes and other humour aimed at youngins. Most of the movie was predictable enough. I enjoyed the penguin troupe and the monkeys the most, and was saddened that their screen-time was limited.
> 
> ...


It...definitely is aimed towards children that's for sure. I've never seen any of them, but from the trailers I've seen it just isn't my kind of humor and I'm a child at heart. I do like the penguins, though.


----------



## Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jan 28, 2010)

obby said:


> Review Kenard from The Wire.


*This review will contain at least one SIGNIFICANT SPOILER for The Wire. If you're planning on watching this show (you should) and don't want it ruined, skip this post.*

That little bastard. 

For the majority of his run on the show, I thought he was the humorous if not psychotic little Napoleon of the "kids" gang that came into play as the primary focus during Season 4. He was pretty stupid, reckless, but man did I laugh when he swore. Little kids swearing cracks me up. 

His stupid shit usually ended up getting him or others in trouble. Michael beating the hell out of him was tough to watch, and then the fact that he ended up working FOR Michael later on just showed that Kenard really was a little bitch. Bark was bigger than his bite, and all that. 

The psychotic aspect was revealed when just before the Omar kill when he was pouring gas or lighter fluid (I forget) on a cat in an alley. That's what this crazy little bastard did for fun. I guess it reflects the effect that life on the streets has on a kid - and really, it obviously messed up all the kids in that gang in very different ways. The fact that Omar went out the way he did, to THIS little bastard, really pissed me off. My buddy and fellow fan of the show said he LOVED that kill, and the whole seemingly unimportant way it went down. When you're on the streets, even if you're the King, you can get got just like that. That death rattled me though. 

My last image of Kenard was him being led away, in cuffs, after Omar's murder. I guess it made me happy that he MIGHT get punished. But ultimately, he'd likely find his way back to the streets, like every other character seemed to. The kid was a desensitized lunatic who seemed more in-line with a stupid, power-hungry guy like Cheese as opposed to someone capable of re-forming and doing good, like Cutty. 

So, although Kenard made me laugh early on in his Wire career, I ended up finding him to be a morally vacant, psychotic little bastard. In terms of a portrayal of how the STREETS can affect a kid mentally, it was brilliant. 

:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly / 5


----------



## obby (May 19, 2009)

Fantastic review.

You must spread rep before giving to ZOMBO again.


----------



## Bob-Carcass (Apr 5, 2013)

Review 



Spoiler: LS
















Hahahaha sorry for size


----------



## Pratchett (Jan 9, 2013)

Bob-Carcass said:


> Review
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Why do you want him to review the user BULLY?


----------



## Obfuscation (Apr 15, 2006)

ZOMBO's credibility is lacking after seeing the awful trollop Keibler get a perfect review meanwhile :cgm gets one of your rarer 'less than substantial' plugs. booourns, pal. I'll credit it only to being unaware of her presence. Per usual. It's officially a constant.

I'll always keep trying, btw.


----------



## Pratchett (Jan 9, 2013)

C'mon, Cody. I did not take his Star Wars review personally, even though he clearly was dancing around the whole idea of actually doing a review of Star Wars. Not that I will take his reticence personally at all. Nor will it change my opinion of him overall. :side:

I FEEL YOUR PAIN CODY. WE HAVE BEEN WRONG ON SOME LEVEL.


----------



## Bob-Carcass (Apr 5, 2013)

HayleySabin said:


> ZOMBO's credibility is lacking after seeing the awful trollop Keibler get a perfect review meanwhile :cgm gets one of your rarer 'less than substantial' plugs. booourns, pal. I'll credit it only to being unaware of her presence. Per usual. It's officially a constant.
> 
> I'll always keep trying, btw.


Come on he's only one man, he can't know everything about everyone :lol besides hes 28 its understandable if he doesn't have feelings for a 16 year old


----------



## obby (May 19, 2009)

Zombie Apocalypse said:


> Why do you want him to review the user BULLY?


:lmao


----------



## Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jan 28, 2010)

Bob-Carcass said:


> Review
> 
> 
> 
> ...


If I could be serious for a moment, I'm about to perform a sophisticated review.

There's not much I can say on Lance Storm that wasn't already said by most wrestling observers and what Chris Jericho wrote in his books. I always found Storm to be more than capable in the ring, and he really came to my awareness at some point in the mid-to-late 90s with WCW. I saw some of his ECW work (and later his WWE stuff of course), but it was then that I grew impressed with his ring skills. He had that silent intensity about him that was almost like a smaller, less-jacked Benoit. Or maybe a Canadian Malenko, I don't know. He WAS Canadian, so I had a soft spot for him immediately. 

My respect for him grew reading Jericho's book and seeing how much they kind of influenced each other at the beginning of their respective careers. Anyone that Y2J respects is gonna have mine too. It's too bad Lance was one of those guys who was just too damn serious and intense for his own good, and it came across in his monotonous promos.

He seems to have a decent mind for the business, but I'm not really one of those guys that reads up on Lance's thoughts on today's product. That's not a shot at Lance, I don't really do that with any wrestling writer. I do hear that he's fairly outspoken though, so props to him if he's getting hits and making some money. 

Ultimately, he was a solid hand in the ring, but ultimately forgettable. He's not remembered for any awesome reasons as a megastar, but he's not remembered for any negative reasons either, really. He was just there for a number of years and now he isn't anymore. Hopefully he made some money and is able to enjoy his post-wrestling life with however much cocaine he wants to do. Lance Storm gets: 






















/ 5


----------



## obby (May 19, 2009)

One more Wire review?

Frank Sobotka


----------



## Oxidamus (Jan 30, 2012)

Lance Storm should get a 5/5 for being one of the best trainers in the world.


----------



## Klee (Oct 28, 2011)

Oxi said:


> Lance Storm should get a 5/5 for being one of the best trainers in the world.


This isn't your review thread Oxi.


----------



## CamillePunk (Feb 10, 2011)

you just used "ultimately" twice in the same sentence. fpalm please end this.


----------



## Bob-Carcass (Apr 5, 2013)

Oxi said:


> Lance Storm should get a 5/5 for being one of the best trainers in the world.


This.

Nah maybe not 5. nice review tho zombo i thought you would have been a bit more high up on lance, he opened up a wrestling school and did some training work for nxt where he still is now, he's trained guys like ziggler, masters and justin credible and trained emma before she made her debut in nxt, one of my favourites of all time without all the training stuff tho.



CamillePunk said:


> you just used "ultimately" twice in the same sentence. fpalm please end this.


If you don't like it don't come into the thread and read it fpalm


----------



## Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jan 28, 2010)

HayleySabin said:


> ZOMBO's credibility is lacking after seeing the awful trollop Keibler get a perfect review meanwhile :cgm gets one of your rarer 'less than substantial' plugs. booourns, pal.





Bob-Carcass said:


> Come on he's only one man, he can't know everything about everyone :lol besides hes 28 its understandable if he doesn't have feelings for a 16 year old


^imo

I wasn't aware that you wanted me to review the 16 year old girl child in terms of her looks... :argh:



CamillePunk said:


> you just used "ultimately" twice in the same sentence. fpalm please end this.


Ultimately, I will be as flagrantly and outrageously repetitive and redundant in my thread so that it ultimately won't matter what your comments and opinions expressed in writing are.


----------



## Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jan 28, 2010)

Before I begin this week's first review, there's no need for hostility in here. CamillePunk and I enjoy a sarcastic repartee with each other. And even if his comments were serious, then he's still entitled to an opinion. Not everyone is going to like this thread. Hell, most people probably don't. It's all good. Commemorating TSE is bigger than ALL of us. 

Anyways, on to the review.



obby said:


> One more Wire review?
> 
> Frank Sobotka


*As per usual Wire reviews, this review will contain spoilers about the show itself. If you're looking at watching it someday (and I can't emphasize enough that you truly, truly should do that), then skip this review for the time being!*

Franky Sobotka. I was inclined to dislike him from the get-go, given his position as a union leader. In my limited interactions with unions, and their respective leaders, I find them to be a truly unlikable bunch. This may offend some readers or people who may be pro-union or are members of one, and I understand the risk I take in putting my opinion out there like this. However, these are UNFILTERED reviews and that's how I felt upon seeing Frank Sobotka the first time.

Basically, even though Sobotka thinks he's the big shit at the docks, he's just an INSTRUMENT in the larger drug-importing scheme run by the Greek (there's also prostitutes smuggled in and shit, but that's outside the scope of this review). Sobotka is a pawn that thinks he's a king, but as Bodie and the boys learned EARLY on, pawns don't become the king.

Ultimately, the longshoremen are hacks who flash too much money (Ziggy's jacket, flashing 100s at the bar)(Frank's purchase of elaborate stained-glass windows for the church) and make themselves easy targets for investigating. All this shit is on Frank, who's the "brains" of the longshoremen operation, and Ziggy's father. 

Frank is SOMEWHAT redeemed as he loses his life in an effort to protect his son and nephew. However, he goes into that meeting with the Greek unknowing that he'd be killed. So, is he a good man for agreeing to protect his son? Or is he a failure of a father that let his son get too far gone in the first place? Frankly, it's some combination of both. I suppose I can say this: Frank Sobotka was a decent man with an inflated ego and too much power within the longshoremen group, leading him to falsely believe he had a lot of power in the larger picture, which he didn't. His own ignorance got him killed.

:chrisholly:chrisholly / 5


----------



## CALΔMITY (Sep 25, 2012)

Review this amazing valentines card I found.


----------



## AlienBountyHunter (Jan 22, 2013)

Easily the greatest thing I've ever seen.


----------



## Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jan 28, 2010)

Calahart said:


> Review this amazing valentines card I found.


I mean, how could this be anything BUT awesome??!

The only way to improve upon it is if it read something like "Others call me The Animal, but I'll be your Pet". 

:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly / 5


----------



## Callisto (Aug 9, 2009)

HayleySabin said:


> +1
> 
> Skip the Beyonce once b/c she's tripe.
> 
> just saw ZOMBO's reply to this. I'm never going to win when it comes to his reviews & music. Sheesh.


My heart is shattered.

It'll have to take a damn good review of Daniel Craig or Dean Ambrose or any other amazing individual for him to mend the broken pieces.

Or this masterpiece.






Which ever you choose Zombo, plz don't mess up or we're DONE.


----------



## STEVALD (Oct 11, 2011)

*Review my chances in our upcoming bout at TDL XII :side:*


----------



## Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jan 28, 2010)

Callisto said:


> My heart is shattered.
> 
> It'll have to take a damn good review of Daniel Craig or Dean Ambrose or any other amazing individual for him to mend the broken pieces.
> 
> ...


I'm picking the scene HEADSHOTS AND HANDCUFFS. 

The videography is poor. The dialogue is wooden. The acting is as poor as Kelly Kelly's promo skills. 

I LOVED IT.

This clip and I'm sure the subsequent TV show (or movie?? No idea) likely falls into the "So terrible it's funny" range without any difficulty. The little things like the one bro being knocked into the pool with a shirt on and then emerging seconds later without his shirt are wonderful. 

The use of wrestling as a way to relate to Kelly Kelly's character was a nice little wink wink towards wrestling fans (because who else would be tuning in to watch this show?) and the only time where she actually showed some personality. Those 30 seconds of her having fun actually made me think that she had personality, unlike everything I've known from her entire run in the WWE. She's always been good looking and everything, but that "vacant stare" expression that always seemed etched on her smiling face was really void of anything like intelligence or charisma. Those couple seconds singing Hogan's theme and posing there actually made her seem like a FUN hot girl. 

So yeah, this was an entertaining enough 5 minute clip. The comedy was terrible, which is what made it funny. The girls were attractive, which helps. The camerawork was shoddy, as was the acting, which also made it funny. Hats off to all involved.

Also, girl that plays Reagan, call me sometime. 

:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly / 5



STEVIE SWAG said:


> *Review my chances in our upcoming bout at TDL XII :side:*


STEVIE, a talented debater. A worthy opponent who, if you've made it to this round of the #1 contender eliminator, you've got to be good. I thought you won the last round too, and the vote you took proves that you were definitely in consideration.

I'm confident too, feeling that I've 'found my game' in this thing, so to speak. My last few results speak for themselves, but the reviews also reflect that I've been performing fairly well. At a first glimpse, I like the idea of the topic, but I'll have to think of what the best angle is in terms of tackling the question. 

At this stage, without knowing my approach yet and without having written my entry, it's tough to truly predict on the scale of "you have no chance" or "uh oh you likely have a good shot". Accordingly, it must be a middle-of-the-road rating.

:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly / 5


----------



## ywall2breakerj (Mar 29, 2011)

Review the Rainmaker pose:


----------



## charlesxo (Jun 20, 2013)

Review Mexicans.


----------



## CALΔMITY (Sep 25, 2012)

^


----------



## obby (May 19, 2009)

sobotka is my second favorite character after d'angelo @ ZOMBO


----------



## STEVALD (Oct 11, 2011)

ZOMBO said:


> STEVIE, a talented debater. A worthy opponent who, if you've made it to this round of the #1 contender eliminator, you've got to be good. I thought you won the last round too, and the vote you took proves that you were definitely in consideration.
> 
> I'm confident too, feeling that I've 'found my game' in this thing, so to speak. My last few results speak for themselves, but the reviews also reflect that I've been performing fairly well. At a first glimpse, I like the idea of the topic, but I'll have to think of what the best angle is in terms of tackling the question.
> 
> ...


*Fair enough :chrisholly

Anyway, win or lose, either way, its gonna be a fun bout :hb*


----------



## Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jan 28, 2010)

ywall2breakerj said:


> Review the Rainmaker pose:


I mean, it's an alright pose? I don't really watch / know anything about Japanese wrestling. It's a regular pose, as far as I can tell.

:draper2:draper2:draper2 / 5



BLEU said:


> Review Mexicans.


...

Mexicans are a bit puzzling to me. Some are super hard-working, industrious type people, breaking their backs on farms or whatever trying to earn a decent living. Some are white-people-kidnapping, drug dealing killers with no sense of morals. Some are super-religious. Some are lazy motherfuckers who just want a free ride in the US or Canada. So, it's tough to really generalize and say "review Mexicans", which is damn near impossible to do. I think that's what you're trying to do with this review request though - just make me work excessively to review an entire country of people.

However, somebody in Mexico (probably an American businessman) was astute in at least making some resorts / relatively safe areas as tourist destinations, and they do those places real well. They make great tacos and corn tortillas, and I do enjoy some heat in my food, so they have the spices down well. But, as I said in the opening, I could also go there and get my head cut off or something. That's not the most reassuring. 

To aid me in such a monumental task, I enlisted the help of an EXPERT PANEL. Here's the feedback I received when I asked them about Mexicans.

*Hamada*: scrilla probably

*Oxi*: shut up essay before i shoot you holmes

*WOOLCOCK*: great wrestlers, better labourers

There you have it. A threat of violence. A compliment to the industriousness of the Mexican worker. Also a good point about their wrestling ability. I almost forgot how many great Mexican wrestlers there are, whilst doing reviews on a wrestling forum. What a life.

:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly / 5


----------



## charlesxo (Jun 20, 2013)

Oxi would say "essay" :no:


----------



## obby (May 19, 2009)

review 7/11


----------



## Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jan 28, 2010)

BLEU said:


> Oxi would say "essay" :no:


He wanted that phonetic accuracy, esé.


----------



## Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jan 28, 2010)

obby said:


> review 7/11


I've actually never been to a 7/11. :draper2

I mean, it's an iconic convenience store and all that, with a logo that's presumably recognizable worldwide. I think they even sell Big Gulps, which led to one of my favourite movie lines in history: "Hey guys! Whoa, Big Gulps huh? Alright. Well, see ya later!" (Lloyd Christmas, _Dumb and Dumber_)






It also has slurpees, but I'm pretty sure most convenience stores nowadays has some form of icy flavoured beverage. The Mac's Milk near my place certainly does. Sadly, that might be the only convenience store I've ever really been to, and only on a handful of occasions at that. I'm a grocery-store guy, which is akin to a Paul Heyman guy except replace Brock Lesnar with the cereal aisle. You get the idea. 

I will turn as always to my faithful and wonderfully committed research team to form an EXPERT PANEL on 7/11. Here's what they said: 

*Phillip J. Dick*: 7/11: bunch of cunts; I think the taquitos at 7/11 are older than I am

*BLEU*: Magic's cousins work there

So, there you have it. It's just another corporate entity comprised of millions, if not billions, of stores all around the world and outer space. 

:chrisholly:chrisholly / 5


----------



## Klee (Oct 28, 2011)

*"Hey guys! Whoa, Big Gulps huh? Alright. Well, see ya later!"* :lmao

Review this line...

*"All this time I’ve been going through such pain and personal ANGUISH… SUCH HELL, for NOTHING!"*

thx ZAMBO


----------



## Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jan 28, 2010)

Just assume that all things directly Dumb and Dumber related, such as quotes, are going to get 5 stars from me.


----------



## Klee (Oct 28, 2011)

ZOMBO said:


> Just assume that all things directly Dumb and Dumber related, such as quotes, are going to get 5 stars from me.


^ The GOAT review.


----------



## obby (May 19, 2009)

never been to 7/11 :jt5

never had buffalo chicken taquitos :jt5

never had a goddamn slurpee :jt5 :jt5 :jt5


----------



## CALΔMITY (Sep 25, 2012)

7/11 is okay I guess. I've never had their roller grill stuff or, really, gotten anything other than energy drinks, slurpees, or a fuel up. However (funny story...well not really) one time I went in, got my slurpee, just walked out of the store, and drove off as if I had paid. It didn't even dawn on me until I was a couple blocks away. I didn't even go back to pay for it. I'm such a terrible person.


----------



## Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jan 28, 2010)

obby said:


> never had a goddamn slurpee :jt5 :jt5 :jt5


I've had other forms of slushies... are slurpees any different, besides in name only?


----------



## CALΔMITY (Sep 25, 2012)

ZOMBO said:


> I've had other forms of slushies... are slurpees any different, besides in name only?


No not really.


----------



## Oxidamus (Jan 30, 2012)

Formally requesting the ratings of these cards: here (PM to me )

There's only three people atm, I require a fourth to rate the cards. I'll do it if you can't, ZOMBO, but I'd prefer someone else that isn't me do it because as the OFFICIATOR I don't want to vote.

If you can't/don't have the time I don't blame you.


----------



## Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jan 28, 2010)

:hmm: Don't know if I like the idea of PMing reviews instead of making them public to the WRESTLINGFORUM UNIVERSE


----------



## Oxidamus (Jan 30, 2012)

Respect the fucking GAME.


----------



## CALΔMITY (Sep 25, 2012)

The wrestlingforumUNIVERSE deserves to know.


----------



## Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jan 28, 2010)

Oh lord, I just read one show. And then realized there was literally 11 more after that. 

I'll have to politely decline this request Oxi. Sorry. enaldo


----------



## CALΔMITY (Sep 25, 2012)

Ho dang nvm then. :I


----------



## Pratchett (Jan 9, 2013)

ZOMBO said:


> I've had other forms of slushies... are slurpees any different, besides in name only?


ICEEs are >>> than all others. Plz review ICEEs.


----------



## Oxidamus (Jan 30, 2012)

That's fine ZOMBO. I'll have to be as unbiased and objective in my reviewing as possible.

AKA more unbiased and objective than you! :brodgers


----------



## obby (May 19, 2009)

ZOMBO said:


> I've had other forms of slushies... are slurpees any different, besides in name only?


yeh i find them pretty different from the average one

you should spend the two bucks and try one


----------



## Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jan 28, 2010)

Zombie Apocalypse said:


> ICEEs are >>> than all others. Plz review ICEEs.


Now, I've consumed my fair share of ICEEs at various sporting events. The cherry flavoured is my go-to, but the Pepsi one is a solid change-up every once and again. I... don't recall seeing any other flavours. 

Although they're sold and football and hockey games where I'm at, there's no need to indulge in an ICEE at one of those places, as the football field is domed (Ford Field) and the hockey arena is a hockey arena. There is nothing better, however, than grabbing an ICEE at humid, mid-summer baseball game. 

At one game last year, it was a real scorcher at Comerica. I strategically got a Pepsi ICEE in between the first and second innings to lay a foundation to stay cool. By the 6th inning, I went and reloaded with a cherry ICEE - finishing STRONG. Needless to say, it was a great day.

So yeah, these are a 5 at the ballgame, and still solid anywhere else.

:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly / 5


----------



## Ruth (Apr 18, 2010)

this gif:


----------



## CALΔMITY (Sep 25, 2012)

ZOMBO said:


> Now, I've consumed my fair share of ICEEs at various sporting events. The cherry flavoured is my go-to, but the Pepsi one is a solid change-up every once and again. I... don't recall seeing any other flavours.
> 
> Although they're sold and football and hockey games where I'm at, there's no need to indulge in an ICEE at one of those places, as the football field is domed (Ford Field) and the hockey arena is a hockey arena. There is nothing better, however, than grabbing an ICEE at humid, mid-summer baseball game.
> 
> ...


I always liked mixing the red with the blue. Purple tongues fuck yeh!


----------



## Pratchett (Jan 9, 2013)

Calahart said:


> I always liked mixing the red with the blue. Purple tongues fuck yeh!


Around here we got cherry lime, which tastes like having a SweetTarts ICEE :homer


----------



## Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jan 28, 2010)

Froot said:


> this gif:


dumb / 5


----------



## charlesxo (Jun 20, 2013)

Review WF members Wrestling Names. Using usernames rather than real names though.


----------



## CALΔMITY (Sep 25, 2012)

Zombie Apocalypse said:


> Around here we got cherry lime, which tastes like having a SweetTarts ICEE :homer


The store I work at has cherry-limeade soda so I have an idea. *drool*



BLEU said:


> Review WF members Wrestling Names. Using usernames rather than real names though.


Interesting.


----------



## Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jan 28, 2010)

BLEU said:


> Review WF members Wrestling Names. Using usernames rather than real names though.


I like this, but I'd hate to bear the burden of choosing the names. 

I'll let you all, the WRESTLINGFORUM UNIVERSE decide!

Simply download the WWE App post the name of the member who you would like me to input into the Wrestling Names site. The rules are as follows:

1) No double posting.
2) Only one username per post.
3) Only the first ten (10) names get reviewed.

Have fun with it!


----------



## obby (May 19, 2009)

Roman King pls


----------



## CALΔMITY (Sep 25, 2012)

Review this tumblr post I found!
clickie
As a Canadian, you might (might not) find it humorous. I actually found it funny and in a way it was leaning more towards pro-Canadaland.


----------



## Flux (Sep 4, 2010)

Review Chris Jericho's knowledge of submission maneuvers. If necessary, use this as a resource.


----------



## Klee (Oct 28, 2011)

ZOMBO said:


> I like this, but I'd hate to bear the burden of choosing the names.
> 
> I'll let you all, the WRESTLINGFORUM UNIVERSE decide!
> 
> ...


CamiilePunk pls


----------



## sexytyrone97 (Apr 2, 2012)

awshitpls


----------



## Stax Classic (May 27, 2010)

Yeah1993


----------



## Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jan 28, 2010)

ZOMBO said:


> I like this, but I'd hate to bear the burden of choosing the names.
> 
> I'll let you all, the WRESTLINGFORUM UNIVERSE decide!
> 
> ...


1.


obby said:


> *Roman King*


2.


Klee said:


> *CamiilePunk*


3.


AwShit said:


> *awshit*


4.


Phillip J. Dick said:


> *Yeah1993*


----------



## Bob-Carcass (Apr 5, 2013)

Zombo


----------



## charlesxo (Jun 20, 2013)

Evolution pls


----------



## Oxidamus (Jan 30, 2012)

Oxi


----------



## Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jan 28, 2010)

5.


Bob-Carcass said:


> *Zombo*


6.


BLEU said:


> *Evolution*


7.


Oxi said:


> *Oxi*


----------



## Chrome (Jan 11, 2012)

Kelly Kelly Fan


----------



## Oxidamus (Jan 30, 2012)

BLEU


----------



## Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jan 28, 2010)

8.


Chrome said:


> *Kelly Kelly Fan*


9.


Oxi said:


> *BLEU*


----------



## Deck The Halls With Funes Mori (May 13, 2012)

Yer mar.


----------



## Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jan 28, 2010)

BLEU said:


> Review WF members Wrestling Names. Using usernames rather than real names though.


Roman King = "Serpentine Zeus"

CamillePunk = "Fierce Soul Taker"

AwShit = "Poo Poo McPee" :lmao :lmao

Yeah1993 = "Mister Sol"

ZOMBO = "Legendary Pirate"

Evolution = "Canadian Justice" :lmao :lmao

Oxi = "Oxi, Oxi, bo-boxi, Banana-fana fo-foxi, Fee-fi-mo-moxi... Oxi!" :lmao :lmao

KellyKellyFan = "Atomic Tornado"

BLEU = "Samurai Gremlin"

Yer Mar (because, why not?) = "Napalm Gravy"

Overall, the thing was pretty much random and unfunny, but the ones that I put the laughing smilies next to just killed me. Loved the Canadian Justice given Evolution's trip to Canada. The Traitor Mod reigns supreme!

So yeah, that was entertaining enough. Good call!

:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly / 5


----------



## Oxidamus (Jan 30, 2012)

ZOMBO said:


> Oxi, Oxi, bo-boxi, Banana-fana fo-foxi, Fee-fi-mo-moxi... Oxi!


I don't quite know how to react to this.


----------



## Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jan 28, 2010)

Calahart said:


> Review this tumblr post I found!
> clickie
> As a Canadian, you might (might not) find it humorous. I actually found it funny and in a way it was leaning more towards pro-Canadaland.


I hope I don't offend you when I say that I didn't find it all that funny :argh:

Not from an "I'm offended" standpoint, but because the tropes used were tired and lacking any real punch. I chuckled at maybe two... so, yeah, sorry. Just not my cup of tea.

:chrisholly / 5



FLUX said:


> Review Chris Jericho's knowledge of submission maneuvers. If necessary, use this as a resource.


The most submissions known to man, I mean, look how many trees were killed simply to supply the paper for that list. And we know from Jericho's storied career that everything he stated in that promo is TRUE. I've seen armbars, the Saskatchewan spinning nerve hold, and drop toe holds throughout his career, in addition to the other 1001 holds that I'm not going to list here simply due to the sheer server space it would take up. 

Ah hell, I'll list them in a spoiler for anyone unfamiliar.



Spoiler: All of Chris Jericho's 1004 moves



1 - arm drag
2 - arm bar
3 - the moss covered, three handled family grudunzle
4 - arm bar
5 - the saskatchewan spinning nerve hold
6 - body slam
7 - drop toe hold
8 - arm bar
9 - shooting star staple super press
10 - right handed arm bar
11 - Lionsault
12 - knife edge chop
13 - arm bar
14 - piledriver
15 - Jericho arm bar
16 - Canadian arm drag
17 - Canadian Maple Leaf
18 - arm bar
19 - LionTamer
20 - missile drop kick
21 - drop kick
22 - Jericho back breaker
23 - kick
24 - missile drop kick off the top rope
25 - side head lock
26 - arm bar
27 - hip toss
28 - sleeper hold
29 - atomic leg drop 
30 - ddt
31 - fall away slam
32 - Canadian arm bar
33 - kick to the mid section 
34 - foot to the face 
35 - elbow drop 
36 - running lariat
37 - arm bar
38 - power slam
39 - double ax handle
40 - Northern light suplex
41 - Japanese arm bar
42 - snap suplex
43 - clothesline
44 - camel clutch
45 - german suplex
46 - arm bar
47 - Canadian suplex
48 - swinging neck breaker
49 - Jericho snap suplex
50 - leg drop
51 - hurricarana
52 - baseball slide
53 - arm bar
54 - right handed arm drag
55 - pin
56 - palm shot
57 - Mexican arm bar
58 - lariat
59 - Jericho driver
60 - moon sault
61 - left handed arm drag
62 - forearm
63 - left side hip toss
64 - headlock
65 - arm bar
66 - European upper cut
67 - Jericho drop kick 
68 - belly to back suplex
69 - jaw breaker
70 - Lionheart arm bar
71 - right side hip toss
72 - left leg drop toe hold
73 - arm bar
74 - right leg drop toe hold
75 - arm bar
76 - Jericho ddt
77 - gorilla press
78 - arm bar
79 - boot to the head
80 - slap
81 - brain buster
82 - arm bar
83 - reverse hip toss
84 - Jericho leg drop
85 - Jericho right handed arm bar
86 - knee to the mid section
87 - arm bar
88 - LionHeart upper cut
89 - standing lariet
90 - American arm bar
91 - tombstone
92 - moonsault to the outside
93 - arm bar
94 - Jerich knife edge chop
95 - right knee to the mid section
96 - Canadian right arm bar
97 - side suplex
98 - Jericho screw leg whip
99 - left knee to the mid section
100 - arm bar
101 - right side suplex
102 - powerbomb (before illegal)
103 - Canadian left arm bar
104 - Jericho Spike
105 - belly to belly suplex
106 - left side suplex
107 - arm bar
108 - springboard backflip ddt
109 - bow and arrow submission
110 - arm bar
111 - head scissors
112 - figure four
113 - American right arm bar
114 - somersault flip
115 - flying head scissors
116 - top rope huracanrana
117 - American left arm bar
118 - sunset flip
119 - scissors around the ring post
120 - arm bar
121 - sharp snap suplex
122 - catapult into ringpost
123 - vertical suplex
124 - Japanese right arm bar
125 - backdrop
126 - elbow drop
127 - arm bar 
128 - Jericho sleeper hold
129 - gulliten leg drop
130 - Japanese left arm bar
131 - leapfrog
132 - flying clothesline
133 - kick to the leg
134 - arm bar
135 - leg takedown
136 - knee drop
137 - boot to the face
138 - small package
139 - arm takedown
140 - Mexican right arm bar
141 - right punch
142 - standing dropkick
143 - piledriver
144 - spinning savate kick
145 - Mexican left arm bar
146 - forearm smash
147 - split-legged moonsault
148 - Boston crab
149 - flying forearm from the second rope
150 - arm bar
151 - powerslam
152 - belly to back suplex
153 - elbow off the second rope
154 - flying bodypress
155 - fisherman suplex
156 - Jericho figure four leglock
157 - arm bar
158 - tombstone piledriver
159 - Jericho flying clothesline
160 - superkick
161 - elbow to the gut
162 - chop
163 - bear hug
164 - nerve hold
165 - arm bar
166 - bulldog
167 - poke to the eyes
168 - rake to the eyes
169 - sharpshooter
170 - arm bar
171 - rolling german suplexes
172 - arm drag take over
173 - full arm drag
174 - german release suplex
175 - russian leg sweep 
176 - arm drag and twist
177 - leg sweep
178 - sharpshooter
179 - chop
180 - bulldog off the top rope
181 - arm bar
182 - hammerlock
183 - reverse atomic knee drop
184 - top-rope elbow drop
185 - arm bar
186 - wrist lock
187 - whip into the corner
188 - elbow to the jaw
189 - rear chinlock
190 - flying fist drop
191 - arm bar
192 - spinning kick
193 - Northern Lights bomb
194 - plancha
195 - savate kick
196 - arm bar
197 - chinlock
198 - standing hammerlock
199 - crossface
200 - splash
201 - ankle lock submission
202 - back drop
203 - arm bar
204 - Irish whip
205 - knee to the back
206 - back bodydrop
207 - leglock
208 - shoulderblock
209 - arm bar
210 - back suplex
211 - open hand to the face
212 - top rope frankensteiner
213 - corkscrew plancha
214 - arm bar
215 - outside-the-ring huracanrana
216 - scoop slam
217 - crossface chicken wing
218 - frankensteiner
219 - reverse atomic drop
220 - flying headbutt
221 - headbutt
222 - arm bar
223 - reverse atomic knee drop onto right knee
224 - Tiger suplex
225 - running clothesline with right arm
226 - test of strength
227 - arm bar
228 - running clothesline with left arm
229 - reverse atomic knee drop onto left knee
230 - dropkick to torso
231 - left arm bar
232 - Asai moonsault
233 - cradle
234 - karate kick
235 - reverse whip
236 - arm bar
237 - reverse Irish whip
238 - abdominal stretch
239 - dragon suplex
240 - reverse suplex
241 - arm bar
242 - top rope powerbomb
243 - inverted backbreaker
244 - modified top rope powerbomb
245 - sideslam
246 - tilt-a-whirl sideslam
247 - superplex
248 - arm bar
249 - turnbuckle smash body slam
250 - slingshot catapult
251 - single leg takedown
252 - judo takedown
253 - arm bar
254 - Fireman's carry takedown
255 - double wrist takedown
256 - vertical splash
257 - snap mare
258 - spinebuster
259 - tilt-a-whirl slam
260 - top rope press slam
261 - double leg slam
262 - shoulder breaker
263 - inverted power slam
264 - suplex powerbomb
265 - airplane spin powerbomb
266 - underhook piledriver
267 - ring rope low blow
268 - mat slam
269 - monkey flip 
270 - neck breaker
271 - reverse mat slam 
272 - sliding leg trip
273 - leg drag
274 - double knee lift
275 - knee drop
276 - step kick
277 - spinning roundhouse kick
278 - spinning heel kick
279 - roundhouse kick
280 - snap kick
281 - leg lariat
282 - jumping standing head scissors
283 - Jericho Spike
284 - shoulder spin hurricarana
285 - arm bar
286 - gutbuster drop
287 - flap jack
288 - flying arm scissor
289 - forearm uppercut
290 - giant swing
291 - face driver
292 - fist drop
293 - double axe handle smash
294 - top rope drop kick
295 - inverted facelock ddt
296 - tornado ddt
297 - ring rope snap
298 - spinning clothesline
299 - ring rope vertical splash clothesline
300 - open hand chop
301 - double chest chop
302 - bulldog lariat
303 - bulldog headlock
304 - swinging bulldog
305 - body scissor
306 - brainbuster
307 - springboard moonsault body press
308 - vertical splash
309 - cross body block
310 - spinning back fist
311 - back breaker drop
312 - atomic throw
313 - shoulder throw
314 - arm wringer
315 - atomic drop
316 - arm breaker
317 - airplane spin toss
318 - turnbuckle smash
319 - side headlock takedown
320 - arm bar
321 - go-behind takedown
322 - front neck chancre
323 - lifting leg stomp
324 - double stomp
325 - somersault body attack
326 - springboard corkscrew splash
327 - springboard moonsault splash
328 - reverse fallaway slam
329 - sidewalk slam
330 - full nelson slam
331 - half nelson
332 - shoulder tackle
333 - short arm
334 - spinning punch
335 - hip toss powerslam
336 - arm bar
337 - shoulder mount face first powerbomb
338 - belly to back powerbomb
339 - body slam piledriver
340 - flying somersault
341 - spinning toe hold
342 - belly to belly wristlock
343 - inverted facelock surfboard
344 - standing surfboard
345 - step-over toe hold face lock
346 - spinning cobra clutch sleeper hold
347 - triangle scissor lock
348 - rolling leg sleeper hold
349 - crooked head scissor lock
350 - back slide
351 - forward leg sweep cradle
352 - nerve hold with armbar
353 - arm bar
354 - neck twist
355 - belly to back flipping throw suplex
356 - belly to belly 90 degree overhead suplex
357 - racked leg lock
358 - victory roll
359 - roll up reverse
360 - crucifix roll up
361 - reverse crucifix kneebar
362 - rolling leg scissors cradle
363 - side cradle
364 - arm bar
365 - 3/4 nelson cradle
366 - bridging double leg pickup roll up
367 - inside cradle
368 - spinning full nelson
369 - half crab
370 - half nelson
371 - back to back elevated hammerlock
372 - inverted full nelson
373 - arm bar
374 - cradle suplex
375 - block buster suplex with bridge
376 - belly to belly overheard with hammerlock suplex
377 - front face lock
378 - chinlock
379 - choke hold
380 - over the shoulder chinlock
381 - inverted face lock
382 - arm bar
383 - full nelson suplex
384 - salto suplex
385 - inverted facelock suplex
386 - half nelson belly to belly suplex
387 - front ring rope suplex
388 - inverted belly to back bear hug
389 - back breaker rack
390 - crossed arms camel clutch
391 - arm bar
392 - stretch suplex
393 - shoulder mounted forward suplex
394 - underhook suplex
395 - standing on the top rope underhook suplex
396 - armbar with neck submission
397 - step over arm bar
398 - cross knee back breaker hold
399 - standing bow and arrow
400 - ack drop driver suplex
401 - wheelbarrow suplex
402 - standing ankle lock
403 - achilles tendon hold
404 - inverted face lock abdominal stretch
405 - crucifix armbar
406 - over the shoulder arm drag
407 - belly to back wristlock
408 - bodyslam piledriver
409 - face first piledriver
410 - reverse ankle lock
411 - suplex piledriver
412 - back elbow smash
413 - arm bar
414 - elbow smash
415 - released german suplex
416 - Canadian back breaker position powerbomb
417 - crossed arms powerbomb
418 - step over armbar with neck submission
419 - bow and arrow back breaker hold
420 - reverse underhook ddt
421 - throat slam suplex
422 - underhook ddt
423 - gutwrench powerbomb
424 - Argentine back breaker
425 - reverse gory special powerbomb
426 - ring rope drop from tilt-a-whirl clothesline
427 - inverted facelock brainbuster suplex
428 - guillotine powerbomb
429 - arm bar
430 - short arm clothesline
431 - tilt-a-whirl powerslam
432 - punch
433 - school boy trip
434 - front face lock choke hold
435 - full nelson
436 - double to neck chop
437 - spinning reverse knife hand chop
438 - elbow smash clothesline
439 - belly to belly overhead suplex
440 - chickenwing and facelock suplex
441 - super brainbuster
442 - front leg shoulder tackle
443 - arm bar
444 - apron dive senton
445 - back drop fallaway slam
446 - off the top rope somersault senton with twist
447 - half crab with armlock
448 - bell clap
449 - back fist
450 - back rake
451 - step over armbar cradle
452 - rolling inside cradle
453 - hair pull slam
454 - hammerlock body slam
455 - body slam
456 - arm bar
457 - indian deathlock with front face lock leg lock
458 - knuckle to temple
459 - crucifix kneebar
460 - spinning boot scrape
461 - fireman's carry brainbuster
462 - off the top rope body press suicida
463 - school boy roll up
464 - japanese leg roll pin
465 - spine bomb slam
466 - stretch slam
467 - arm bar
468 - tilt-a-whirl face first slam
469 - standing figure four leg lock
470 - racked kneeling leg lock
471 - twisting 3/4 facelock bulldog
472 - running bulldog headlock
473 - arm bar
474 - 3/4 face lock, flap jack, bulldog
475 - belly to back double chickenwing suplex
476 - belly to back crossed arms suplex
477 - off the second rope splash
478 - catapult splash
479 - catapult somersault splash
480 - arm bar
481 - somersault body attack suicida
482 - octopus hold
483 - body scissor lock
484 - leg lock with bridging chinlock
485 - press slam
486 - super inverted atomic drop
487 - cradle camel clutch
488 - crossed arms with standing figure four cradle
489 - forward rolling cradle
490 - stomp
491 - double leg tackle takedown
492 - forward rolling leg scissor takedown
493 - arm bar
494 - pinch sleeper hold
495 - hair pull takedown
496 - side rolling leg scissor takedown
497 - throat strike
498 - tights pull takedown
499 - stump puller
500 - surfboard
501 - double step over toe hold face lock
502 - chinlock surfboard
503 - inverted surfboard
504 - arm bar
505 - powerbomb turnbuckle smash
506 - belly to belly drop turnbuckle smash
507 - inverted with inverted facelock surfboard
508 - inverted with chinlock surfboard
509 - lifting mat slam
510 - reverse monkey flip
511 - forward russian leg sweep
512 - arm bar
513 - leg twist
514 - leg wheel
515 - low blow
516 - off the top rope somersault leg drop with twist
517 - springboard leg drop
518 - driving knee lift
519 - jumping knee strike
520 - knee to stomach
521 - catapult somersault leg drop
522 - knee clip
523 - thrust kick
524 - knee drop knee breaker
525 - side kick
526 - arm bar
527 - spin kick
528 - rolling koppou kick
529 - flying side kick
530 - leg sweep kick
531 - scissor kick
532 - back brain kick
533 - arm bar
534 - jumping hip attack
535 - reverse hurricarana
536 - gutbuster drop
537 - headbutt drop
538 - hamstring pull
539 - arm bar
540 - flying head scissors
541 - forearm smash
542 - off the second rope fist drop
543 - spinning forearm smash
544 - spinning back elbow smash
545 - guillotine face driver
546 - arm bar
547 - reverse face driver
548 - underhook face driver
549 - neck snap
550 - nerve strike
551 - palm thrust
552 - palm thrust flurry
553 - belly to belly piledriver
554 - arm bar
555 - neck breaker
556 - standing head scissors
557 - airplane spin
558 - inverted atomic drop
559 - reverse achilles tendon hold
560 - ankle lock
561 - suplex piledriver
562 - underhook face first piledriver
563 - elbow smash
564 - springboard back elbow smash suicida
565 - flying back elbow smash
566 - arm bar
567 - exploder suplex
568 - crossed arms Canadian back breaker position powerbomb
569 - crucifix powerbomb
570 - reverse crucifix armbar with neck submission
571 - face first powerbomb
572 - shoulder mounted crossed arms suplex
573 - throat slam suplex
574 - arm bar
575 - single arm ddt
576 - reverse underhook ddt
577 - Canadian back breaker
578 - camel clutch
579 - strectch powerbomb
580 - underhook powerbomb
581 - gutwrench powerbomb
582 - shoulder mounted suplex
583 - inverted facelock brainbuster suplex
584 - ring rope slingshot catapult clothesline
585 - ring rope drop from bodyslam clothesline
586 - inverted facelock front suplex
587 - cradle brainbuster suplex
588 - arm bar
589 - rope rake
590 - abdominal claw hold
591 - elbow smash clothesline
592 - cobra clutch suplex
593 - belly to belly overhead suplex
594 - catapult somersault senton suicida
595 - head vice
596 - back rake
597 - corner body press
598 - handspring body press suicida
599 - handspring moonsault body press suicida
600 - arm bar
601 - tilt-a-whirl back breaker drop
602 - step over armbar cradle
603 - forward rolling fallaway slam
604 - running forward rolling fallaway slam
605 - apron dive vertical splash bodypress
606 - back suplex
607 - arm bar
608 - flying leg roll up
609 - racked kneeling leg lock
610 - reverse standing figure four leg lock
611 - tilt a whirl face first slam
612 - spine bomb slam
613 - twisting 3/4 facelock bulldog
614 - cobra clutch bulldog
615 - arm bar
616 - running palm thrust
617 - super piledriver
618 - super arm drag
619 - springboard arm drag
620 - cross arm scissors
621 - super northern lights bomb
622 - top rope powerbomb
623 - arm bar
624 - off the top rope vertical splash bodypress
625 - super spine bomb slam
626 - double sidewalk slam
627 - standing on top rope press slam
628 - 3/4 face lock bulldog
629 - belly to belly double arm suplex
630 - belly to back double chickenwing suplex
631 - arm bar
632 - belly to back crossed arms suplex
633 - pendulum back breaker
634 - body breaker
635 - super inverted atomic drop
636 - arm bar
637 - camel clutch cradle
638 - forward rolling leg scissor takedown
639 - top rope vertical splash
640 - running corner vertical splash
641 - choke hold sleeper hold
642 - head scissor lock
643 - arm bar
644 - figure four stump puller
645 - elevated surfboard
646 - inverted step over toe hold face lock
647 - judo takedown
648 - single leg takedown 
649 - tights pull takedown
650 - suspended surfboard
651 - inverted indian deathlock surfboard
652 - arm bar
653 - powerbomb turnbuckle smash
654 - belly to belly drop turnbuckle smash
655 - overhead face first powerbomb turnbuckle smash
656 - neck breaker
657 - flying mat slam
658 - reverse monkey flip
659 - running mat slam
660 - left arm bar
661 - off the top rope reverse mat slam
662 - running neck breaker
663 - flying somersault
664 - leg twist
665 - leg wheel
666 - right arm bar
667 - double forward russian leg sweep
668 - super side russian leg sweep
669 - sliding leg trip
670 - double side russian leg sweep
671 - leg whip
672 - arm bar
673 - flying knee lift
674 - springboard leg drop with victim across top rope
675 - off the second rope knee lift
676 - off the top rope somersault leg drop
677 - jumping knee strike
678 - headlock
679 - gorilla press
680 - off the top rope moonsault knee drop
681 - arm bar
682 - somersault leg drop
683 - springboard knee drop
684 - super knee breaker drop
685 - thrust kick
686 - standing on top rope knee breaker drop
687 - arm bar
688 - off the top rope knee drop
689 - flying spinning roundhouse kick
690 - springboard straight leg side kick
691 - corner running spinning heel kick
692 - arm bar
693 - rolling german suplex
694 - corner rolling koppou kick 
695 - missile drop kick
696 - roundhouse kick
697 - knife edge chop
698 - cradle
699 - full nelson
700 - corner back flip kick
701 - leg sweep kick
702 - jumping spin kick
703 - running big boot kick
704 - flying big boot kick
705 - bodyslam
706 - snap suplex
707 - snap mare
708 - ddt
709 - off the top rope somersault hurricarana
710 - super hurricarana
711 - tombstone
712 - arm bar
713 - the professionala
714 - Canadian super jawbreaker
715 - irish whip
716 - hammer throw
717 - arm bar
718 - springboard jumping hip attack
719 - corner jumping hip attack
720 - fireman's carry gutbuster drop
721 - arm bar
722 - hamstring pull
723 - Jericho screwdriver twist
724 - giant swing
725 - off the second rope fist drop
726 - flying head scissors
727 - flying arm scissors
728 - Canadian left arm bar
729 - forearm uppercut
730 - super flying arm scissors
731 - gutbuster drop
732 - super wizard
733 - off the top rope face driver
734 - spinning back elbow smash
735 - arm bar
736 - off the second rope leg face driver
737 - fist drop
738 - suplex
739 - underhook face driver
740 - reverse face driver
741 - forearm smash
742 - double boot scrape
743 - arm bar
744 - side headlock
745 - hip toss
746 - sleeper hold
747 - atomic leg drop
748 - back breaker
749 - fallaway slam
750 - power slam
751 - double axe handle
752 - running lariat
753 - elbow drop
754 - arm bar
755 - camel clutch
756 - clothesline
757 - snap suplex
758 - lionsault
759 - drop toe hold
760 - shoting star staple press
761 - baseball slide
762 - palm shot
763 - hurricarana
764 - leg drop
765 - arm bar
766 - lariat
767 - pin
768 - moonsault
769 - headlock
770 - left side hip toss
771 - forearm
772 - arm bar
773 - belly to back suplex
774 - left leg drop toe hold
775 - right side hip toss
776 - jaw breaker
777 - boot to the head
778 - brain buster
779 - slap
780 - reverse hip toss
781 - left arm bar
782 - knee to the mid section
783 - standing lariat
784 - moonsault to the outside
785 - tombstone
786 - arm bar
787 - side suplex
788 - powerbomb
789 - left knee to mid section
790 - Jericho Spike
791 - belly to belly suplex
792 - left side suplex
793 - fisherman suplex
794 - figure four leg lock
795 - superkick
796 - tombstone piledriver
797 - flying bodypress
798 - arm bar
799 - elbow off the second rope
800 - elbow to the gut
801 - rake to the eyes
802 - left leg sweep
803 - bulldog
804 - bear bug
805 - arm bar
806 - rolling german suplexes
807 - russian leg sweep
808 - arm drag and twist
809 - leg sweep
810 - chop
811 - reverse whip
812 - dragon suplex
813 - reverse Irish whip
814 - abdominal stretch
815 - arm bar
816 - top rope powerbomb
817 - reverse suplex
818 - tilt-a-whirl side slam
819 - superplex
820 - modified top rope powerbomb
821 - inverted back breaker
822 - turnbuckle smash body slam
823 - judo takedown
824 - arm bar
825 - Fireman's carry takedown
826 - single leg takedown
827 - slingshot catapult
828 - double wrist takedown
829 - tilt-a-whirl slam
830 - spinebuster
831 - snap mare
832 - arm bar
833 - vertical splash
834 - standing hammerlock
835 - crossface
836 - savate kick
837 - plancha
838 - chinlock
839 - Northern lights bomb
840 - splash
841 - ankle lock submission
842 - arm bar
843 - back drop
844 - knee to the back
845 - back bodydrop
846 - leglock
847 - shoulderblock
848 - back suplex
849 - open hand to the face
850 - top rope frankensteiner
851 - corkscrew plancha
852 - arm bar
853 - outside-the-ring hurricarana
854 - scoop slam
855 - crossface chickenwing
856 - frankensteiner
857 - reverse atomic drop
858 - flying headbutt
859 - headbutt
860 - arm bar
861 - reverse atomic knee drop onto right knee
862 - test of strength
863 - tiger suplex
864 - running clothesline
865 - dropkick to torso
866 - arm bar
867 - cradle
868 - Asai moonsault
869 - spinning forearm smash
870 - spinning back elbow smash
871 - guillotine face driver
872 - arm bar
873 - reverse face driver
874 - underhook face driver
875 - neck snap
876 - nerve strike
877 - palm thrust
878 - palm thrust flurry
879 - belly to belly piledriver
880 - arm bar
881 - neck breaker
882 - standing head scissors
883 - airplane spin
884 - inverted atomic drop
885 - reverse achilles tendon hold
886 - ankle lock
887 - suplex piledriver
888 - underhook face first piledriver
889 - elbow smash
890 - springboard back elbow smash suicida
891 - flying back elbow smash
892 - arm bar
893 - exploder suplex
894 - crossed arms Canadian back breaker position powerbomb
895 - crucifix powerbomb
896 - reverse crucifix armbar with neck submission
897 - face first powerbomb
898 - shoulder mounted crossed arms suplex
899 - throat slam suplex
900 - arm bar
901 - single arm ddt
902 - reverse underhook ddt
903 - Canadian back breaker
904 - camel clutch
905 - strectch powerbomb
906 - underhook powerbomb
907 - gutwrench powerbomb
908 - shoulder mounted suplex
909 - inverted facelock brainbuster suplex
910 - ring rope slingshot catapult clothesline
911 - ring rope drop from bodyslam clothesline
912 - inverted facelock front suplex
913 - cradle brainbuster suplex
914 - arm bar
915 - rope rake
916 - abdominal claw hold
917 - elbow smash clothesline
918 - cobra clutch suplex
919 - belly to belly overhead suplex
920 - catapult somersault senton suicida
921 - head vice
922 - back rake
923 - corner body press
924 - handspring body press suicida
925 - handspring moonsault body press suicida
926 - arm bar
927 - tilt-a-whirl back breaker drop
928 - step over armbar cradle
929 - forward rolling fallaway slam
930 - running forward rolling fallaway slam
931 - apron dive vertical splash bodypress
932 - back suplex
933 - arm bar
934 - flying leg roll up
935 - racked kneeling leg lock 
936 - reverse standing figure four leg lock
937 - tilt a whirl face first slam
938 - spine bomb slam
939 - twisting 3/4 facelock bulldog
940 - cobra clutch bulldog
941 - arm bar
942 - running palm thrust
943 - super piledriver
944 - super arm drag
945 - springboard arm drag
946 - cross arm scissors
947 - super northern lights bomb
948 - top rope powerbomb
949 - arm bar
950 - off the top rope vertical splash bodypress
951 - super spine bomb slam
952 - double sidewalk slam
953 - standing on top rope press slam
954 - 3/4 face lock bulldog
955 - belly to belly double arm suplex
956 - belly to back double chickenwing suplex
957 - arm bar
958 - belly to back crossed arms suplex
959 - pendulum back breaker
960 - body breaker
961 - super inverted atomic drop
962 - arm bar
963 - camel clutch cradle
964 - forward rolling leg scissor takedown
965 - top rope vertical splash
966 - running corner vertical splash
967 - choke hold sleeper hold
968 - head scissor lock
969 - arm bar
970 - figure four stump puller
971 - elevated surfboard
972 - inverted step over toe hold face lock
973 - judo takedown
974 - single leg takedown 
975 - tights pull takedown
976 - suspended surfboard
977 - inverted indian deathlock surfboard
978 - arm bar
979 - powerbomb turnbuckle smash
980 - belly to belly drop turnbuckle smash
981 - overhead face first powerbomb turnbuckle smash
982 - neck breaker
983 - flying mat slam
984 - reverse monkey flip
985 - running mat slam
986 - left arm bar
987 - off the top rope reverse mat slam
988 - running neck breaker
989 - flying somersault
990 - leg twist
991 - leg wheel
992 - right arm bar
993 - double forward russian leg sweep
994 - super side russian leg sweep
995 - sliding leg trip
996 - double side russian leg sweep
997 - leg whip
998 - flying knee lift
999 - springboard leg drop with victim across top rope
1000 - off the second rope knee lift
1001 - off the top rope somersault leg drop
1002 - jumping knee strike
1003 - headlock
1004 - ARM BAR



He's the best in the world at what he does, so how can't I give an expected: 

:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly / 5


----------



## Oxidamus (Jan 30, 2012)

I've never seen Jericho's list til now... sadly (don't kill me)... but it's fantastic. :lol

Also I better win my TDL because I don't want to be named Oxi, Oxi, bo-boxi, Banana-fana fo-foxi, Fee-fi-mo-moxi... Oxi!
Oxi Bo-Boxi for short. :ann1


----------



## CALΔMITY (Sep 25, 2012)

ZOMBO said:


> I hope I don't offend you when I say that I didn't find it all that funny :argh:
> 
> Not from an "I'm offended" standpoint, but because the tropes used were tired and lacking any real punch. I chuckled at maybe two... so, yeah, sorry. Just not my cup of tea.
> 
> ...


I'm not offended that you don't share my sense of humor, ZOMBO. I'm just glad it actually didn't offend you.


Also WOW THAT LIST.



Edit:
Evo is Canadian Justice... Nice


----------



## Yeah1993 (Nov 20, 2008)

ZOMBO said:


> Evolution = "Canadian Justice" :lmao :lmao


Wow that worked. :lmao


----------



## Obfuscation (Apr 15, 2006)

BLEU said:


> Review WF members Wrestling Names. Using usernames rather than real names though.


Holy crap. I'm _"Sweet Polaris"_.

I love that.


----------



## Klee (Oct 28, 2011)

^ It's like fate

did my own - *King Tank*

Yeah, I'm King Tank Klee, bitches.

My real name threw up - *Dirty Rock*

Not sure which i prefer.


----------



## CALΔMITY (Sep 25, 2012)

I got *Nature Boy Rocket*

Entered my real name and got *Gold Angel* Interesting... :hmm:


----------



## Bob-Carcass (Apr 5, 2013)

Whats up with the generator buzz? send me the link plz :lol


----------



## Klee (Oct 28, 2011)

Just scroll up, it's there.


----------



## Bob-Carcass (Apr 5, 2013)

Klee said:


> Just scroll up, it's there.


:argh: Where?


----------



## Klee (Oct 28, 2011)

BLEU said:


> Review WF members Wrestling Names. Using usernames rather than real names though.





Bob-Carcass said:


> :argh: Where?


Come on, Bob.


----------



## Bob-Carcass (Apr 5, 2013)

Klee said:


> Come on, Bob.


Hahaha Sorry man it was disguised  

For my username.... *Ponderous Boulder*

Actual name..... *Vanilla Zeus* Not so happy with that one :lol


----------



## Klee (Oct 28, 2011)

Bob-Carcass said:


> Hahaha Sorry man it was disguised
> 
> For my username.... *Ponderous Boulder*
> 
> Actual name..... *Vanilla Zeus* Not so happy with that one :lol


Vanilla Zeus :lmao


----------



## CALΔMITY (Sep 25, 2012)

Klee said:


> Vanilla Zeus :lmao


:lmao :lmao :lmao


----------



## Nostalgia (Dec 20, 2011)

Nostalgia = Voracious Meat Grinder. :argh:


----------



## Bob-Carcass (Apr 5, 2013)

Nostalgia said:


> Nostalgia = Voracious Meat Grinder. :argh:


Wow, dude, you have some issues.


----------



## CALΔMITY (Sep 25, 2012)

Nostalgia said:


> Nostalgia = Voracious Meat Grinder. :argh:


That's hardcore bro.


----------



## Nostalgia (Dec 20, 2011)

That's totally my barbaric heel character name right there. :lol

Entered my real name and it gives me Strident Rocket. :hmm:


----------



## Stax Classic (May 27, 2010)

Haystacks Calhoun: R.I.P.
Chainsaw Charlie: Admiral Fang
Pumbaa: Bulldog Soultaker
Kaepernick: Loathesome Apollo
St Kaepernick: Bulldog Cram
Jon Snow: Yank Meat Grinder
Politically Incorrect: Super Sonic Frost
Phillip J. Dick: Ponderous Chaos 
My Real Name: Cerebral Obliterator


----------



## Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jan 28, 2010)

My real name is Cerebral Disciple. So yeah, don't be the Cerebral Obliterator, Stax.


----------



## Obfuscation (Apr 15, 2006)

Nostalgia's names are tailor made for the world of homosexual erotica.

Congrats.


----------



## Nostalgia (Dec 20, 2011)

Thanks. :side:


----------



## Pratchett (Jan 9, 2013)

Plz review the late, great KellyKellyFan. Think of the members who have never had the _PLEASURE_. :agree:


----------



## CALΔMITY (Sep 25, 2012)

Oh lord.

To be honest, KKF was my favorite troll.


----------



## Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jan 28, 2010)

Zombie Apocalypse said:


> Plz review the late, great KellyKellyFan. Think of the members who have never had the _PLEASURE_. :agree:


KellyKellyFan was one of my all-time favourite posters on here, and I don't even mean that ironically. I got legitimate enjoyment and happiness watching her senselessly, blindly, yet PASSIONATELY defend her favourite wrestler from any and all accusations, regardless of their veracity (ie: Kelly Kelly couldn't run the ropes, slept around, etc etc). 

She got members of this place riled up in her blind markdom, and it was thrilling to watch. The fact that there are still remembrance threads popping up from her banning prove the impact that she had on this place. She took a lot of abuse from forum members, but lord knows that didn't stop her. Even when people were posting facebook photos of her and stuff that seemed a little too far, she still trooped on. I admire that.

One of my favourite moments was during the days that Rants had a "Send a cunt into the red" thread. I believe a movement began in there (don't recall if it became a separate thread) that was "Send KellyKellyFan into the green". She actually lost 1 bar of red during that time, and she posted earnest, heartfelt messages of gratitude. She seemed legitimately affected by the positive actions of others (even if it didn't last long), and that just confirmed that she was a good person. A good person with a TERRIBLE choice of a favourite wrestler, but shit happens. 

I turn to my faithful EXPERT PANEL for their thoughts on KellyKellyFan:

*THE MIGHTY KRANG*: she was a useless cunt.
*Magic*: 10/10 troll
*Zombie Apocalypse*: I may be biased, but this forum is less without her; WF needs KKF more than KKF needs WF.

I'll close with some words FROM KellyKellyFan herself (I cannot reveal my source) in response to her finding out that I reviewed the video of Kelly Kelly in that shitty TV show the other day. 



From KellyKellyFan said:


> _No way!!!! lol that is amazing someone posted the Barbie video on WF. I wish I could be on there to tell all of them that Barbie is a great actress and shes definitely having fun with her new career getting into the acting business. Barbie has actually filmed a movie called angels investors last year that will be out this summer. I cant wait to see it._


As Pratchett stated above, the forum is less without her. Forever in our hearts.

:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly / 5


----------



## CALΔMITY (Sep 25, 2012)

What an inspirational review.


----------



## STEVALD (Oct 11, 2011)

BLEU said:


> Review WF members Wrestling Names. Using usernames rather than real names though.


*Full Metal Ass Hander :lmao*


----------



## CALΔMITY (Sep 25, 2012)

STEVIE SWAG said:


> *Full Metal Ass Hander :lmao*














You edited your post...


----------



## CHAMPviaDQ (Jun 19, 2012)

My real name generates: Outlaw Juggernaut

My username generates: Major Juggernaut

My real name is nothing like my username yet they both generated 'Juggernaut'. Amazing.

Fun Fact: If you put in Chris Benoit, it says 'low life murderer'.


----------



## CALΔMITY (Sep 25, 2012)

Wow nice sig Mr. Juggernaut.


----------



## Chrome (Jan 11, 2012)

Real name: Uncle Tart

Username: The Grand Show

Old username: Saint Stompcraft

LOL at Uncle Tart. Other two sound badass though.


----------



## CALΔMITY (Sep 25, 2012)

Oh shit I didn't think to use my old username.

I got *Maverick Prometheus* 
Fuck.Yeh.


----------



## Honey Bucket (Jul 3, 2012)

LORD PIMP


----------



## Pratchett (Jan 9, 2013)

I got Nasty Wraith. :hmm:
With my real name I got *Stone Faced Skyflyer*. Yeah, that will do.


----------



## CALΔMITY (Sep 25, 2012)

Hey ZOMBO :jericho4 review this.


----------



## Harvey Price's Boner (Apr 16, 2011)

Harvey Prices Boner got Wild Demon :lmao it sure is.

My real name got Cardiac Elemental which is shite.


----------



## Hamada (Aug 17, 2008)

Unsurprisingly, my username comes out as "Ayako Hamada" :side:

My real name comes out as "Great Shadow". Probably should have been Andre's wrestling name :bigron


----------



## Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jan 28, 2010)

Calahart said:


> Hey ZOMBO :jericho4 review this.


I really don't get why that ol' boy had to open his mouth when he began to get slimed, not the smartest move on Jericho's part.

But still funny nonetheless, mainly because of his hairstyle.

:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly / 5


----------



## CALΔMITY (Sep 25, 2012)

ZOMBO said:


> *I really don't get why that ol' boy had to open his mouth when he began to get slimed*, not the smartest move on Jericho's part.
> 
> But still funny nonetheless, mainly because of his hairstyle.
> 
> :chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly / 5


Me neither. I didn't watch nick much as a kid so I missed out on a lot of sliming. Anyways it's like he intentionally answered wrong just so he could guzzle down some of dat slime. :lol


Thank you zombo.


----------



## TKOK (Apr 6, 2006)

review the royal rumble match


----------



## TKOK (Apr 6, 2006)

review alison brie's boobs


----------



## CALΔMITY (Sep 25, 2012)

SPACE MOUNTAIN! said:


> review the royal rumble match


8*D


----------



## Pratchett (Jan 9, 2013)

SPACE MOUNTAIN! said:


> review alison brie's boobs


:yum:


----------



## Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jan 28, 2010)

SPACE MOUNTAIN! said:


> review the royal rumble match


I don't know how much I can add that hasn't been stated on multiple threads (in multiple sections) by others on this site, or what's been stated on SOCIAL MEDIA (like Twitter, Tout, Facebook, the WWE App). So let's start with this: it was disappointing. Perhaps it's me being a blind fan, but last night seemed like the opportune time to CEMENT Bryan's place as THE star of the show going down the Road to Wrestlemania. This match was the perfect platform.

The sad thing is, there wasn't much that was downright terrible about every other aspect of the match. You had your "surprise" entrants like Sheamus and Nash. You had your comedy entrant in El Torito, and that was fun too. You had your Kofi spot. You had Reigns destroying everyone, combined with Ambrose's opportune turning on Reigns to really fast-forward the Shield breakup. You had Goldust inadvertently knocking his brother out, shortly after losing the tag titles, setting up a nice story heading forward towards Mania. Kane in dress pants! This is all fine stuff.

We had a lot of guys that could work with energy all match. Cesaro swings. Ziggler. Punk. Rollins. Ambrose. Even Fandango in for a bit. The Miz looked like he had some energy. The only two entrants that I perceived as wastes were JBL and Khali. However, Khali can at least be justified, storyline-wise, in the sense that he served the purpose of letting the Shield guys work together. Something was accomplished there.

The JBL spot, coming as late as it did and ONLY serving comedic purposes, was completely terrible. We already had El Torito to interject some fun and humour. Why did we need this? It was a ridiculously contrived setup, where the end result was transparent the moment he began removing his jacket. 

The feeling of dread that crept up as the numbers got closer to 30 was something greater than a horror movie. I let myself believe that YES, the fans HAD to end up getting what they wanted. They'd chanted all night for their hero, who put over Bray in a hard-hitting opening match. What better way to make fans forget about that loss than coming in at #30 as a surprise entrant and winning the whole thing? The dread I was talking about though... yeah, there was nothing worse than when I realized there was still one wrestler to come, and that Rey was on the pre-match hype video. Uh-oh. Shit. Rey is going to be #30. 

And I felt for the guy, it's not HIS fault he was put at #30. I wonder if WWE brass realized that WHOEVER they put there would get heat, and bumped Batista up a couple spots because of it. Maybe they thought "Rey is a popular babyface, he CAN'T get crucified going out there instead of Bryan". Well, the crowd crucified Rey, and they crucified the remainder of the Rumble. 

It was admittedly neat how they got behind Reigns, a symbol of CHANGE and HOPE (like a giant, Samoan version of Bryan) as he looked like someone to upset the status quo (Sheamus and Orton, representing the boring, played-out WWE ideal of... guys like Sheamus and Orton). That energy was fleeting however, much like Reigns' chances, and hope and change were extinguished in favour of the status quo. 

All in all, it was a memorable Rumble for all the wrong reasons. Aside from the decision-making, it would've been pretty damn enjoyable. But it ended up being pretty damn unforgivable. 

:chrisholly:chrisholly / 5


----------



## Pratchett (Jan 9, 2013)

One of the best reviews yet. It was like you were in my head thinking what I was thinking.


----------



## Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jan 28, 2010)

SPACE MOUNTAIN! said:


> review alison brie's boobs


























































































They've got a great bounce, they look very comfortable. I mean, come on. 

:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly / 5


----------



## CALΔMITY (Sep 25, 2012)

What a superb review, zombs.


----------



## Pratchett (Jan 9, 2013)

ZOMBO said:


> They've got a great bounce, they look very comfortable. I mean, come on.
> 
> :chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly / 5


One of the best reviews yet. It was like you were in my head thinking what I was thinking.


----------



## Timber Timbre (Aug 11, 2011)

ZOMBO, plz review the fact that this thread has been inactive for almost a month (a long-winded rant works too)


Also, a bonus review because i'm French Canadian - plz review me having to drive up to London, Ontario next weekend in our shitty weather.


----------



## Hart Break Kid (Oct 5, 2009)

God the things i'd do to her off community!!!

Now review me ya dick.









Should be good since i don't think we've ever interacted with each other on here.... as of yet.


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## TB Tapp (Oct 26, 2013)

ZOMBO, can you review the province of Ontario? Is Premier Rob Ford doing a good job? To refresh your memory it is Canada's most populous province and its capital is Toronto. It extends from Thunder Bay in the West to Cornwall in the east to Windsor in the south. Ontarians seem to lack any sense of pride in their province. They are Canadians first and foremost, Ontario happens to be the part they live in.


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## Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jan 28, 2010)

blarg_ said:


> ZOMBO, plz review the fact that this thread has been inactive for almost a month (a long-winded rant works too)


At the time when the thread died down, my work life really began to get busy, which made my COMMITMENT TO YOU, THE WRESTLING FORUM UNIVERSE, a little more difficult to fulfill. I still did my reviews because that's the kind of person I am, but I was quite happy as the novelty / attention to the thread began to die down. Was there a part of me that felt like "hey, I wouldn't mind if it stayed open and I did a review or two each day"? Absolutely. But the requests always tend to come in fast-paced bursts which can make things difficult on me. Ah well, I chose this path and here we are. 

I'm not going to lie either. Was there a part of me that was hoping Evolution would come up in here and lock this thread for no other reason than to cement his status as the #1 heel mod on the forum? Absolutely, I think that would've been hilarious. Not only would it make me look innocent, but it would relieve me of my reviewing duties - duties I take SERIOUSLY, mind you.

So, was I upset that the thread closed down for almost a month? Nope. Am I happy that you remembered it and brought it back to life, Jesus-style? Kinda, we'll see how it plays out from here. For now, I'll rate the inactive time as a blissful:

:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly / 5



blarg_ said:


> Also, a bonus review because i'm French Canadian - plz review me having to drive up to London, Ontario next weekend in our shitty weather.


If February continues to play out like it has been, you're going to end up with some REAL shitty road conditions. I'd recommend postponing it, as the current long-term forecast (I know how much these can change since we're so many days away) calls for some snow on Friday and some more significant snow on Sunday. The 401 SUCKS when it's snowing, although it tends to get cleaned up pretty damn quick immediately after snowfall. It's all about the timing of your drive. 

Be careful though. I tried to drive to Toronto from Windsor the week before Christmas during a snowstorm. I've driven in worse, successfully, but this time I ended up hitting a patch of ice / snow that drifted into my lane, and ended up spinning out off the 401 into the median area just around Chatham. Apparently, the roads were much worse around London and onwards. First time I've ever lost control of a car, and it was scary shit. 

So, accordingly, I wish you luck and safe travels, but at the same time, I grade your expected conditions based on today's forecast as such:

:chrisholly / 5



Hart Break Kid said:


> Now review me ya dick.


YES, I HAVE ONE RIGHT HERE! It's bulky, but I consider it carry-on!






I'm not gonna show off, you know, so I give it a perfectly average

:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly / 5



TB Tapp said:


> ZOMBO, can you review the province of Ontario? Is Premier Rob Ford doing a good job? To refresh your memory it is Canada's most populous province and its capital is Toronto. It extends from Thunder Bay in the West to Cornwall in the east to Windsor in the south. Ontarians seem to lack any sense of pride in their province. They are Canadians first and foremost, Ontario happens to be the part they live in.


wow such questions many thoughts very ontario wow

I enjoy it here, having lived here all my life. There's a lot of nature, if you like that, up North a little ways and there's some remarkably remote locations. I don't particularly care for any of that, so I stick to cities, and there's plenty of those in Ontario as well. I like going to Toronto for Leafs and Blue Jays' games, but I would never be able to live in such a chaotic city. 

As to commenting if Rob Ford is going a good job, I don't really have much of an actual answer. I don't live in Toronto, and haven't really followed any of the positive (or negative) changes he's made on the city during his mayoral run. All I know of his is from the headlines, and they are fucking hilarious. It's awesome having a real life mayor being played by some wacky Chris Farley character. 

So yeah, like Canada, Ontario is pretty damn great for me. It's been home for me my entire life, and I think I'm doing alright. From Tim Hortons on every corner to a couple NHL teams and an MLB team, Ontario is all good in my books. 

:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly / 5


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## CALΔMITY (Sep 25, 2012)

Since you posted an Ace Ventura bit, Review Jim Carrey.


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## Timber Timbre (Aug 11, 2011)

I give your reviews of my review requests a solid














/ 5



The lack of the Chrétien rating criterion for all things CANADIAN undermines your crucial and useful recommendation that might've saved my life this coming weekend. :no:


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## Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jan 28, 2010)

First off, blarg_, I hope this message finds you still alive and well. (Y)



Calahart said:


> Since you posted an Ace Ventura bit, Review Jim Carrey.


Well, good ol' Jim deserves props for being Canadian, so that's a bonus point right off the top. It's odd too, since I consider myself a "fan", primarily due to Dumb and Dumber and a string of other 90s movies that I loved, that I know precious little about the guy. Off the top of my head, I remember watching and re-watching The Mask. I've seen Dumb and Dumber more times than I can count, and consider it my favourite comedy of all time. There was the Ace Ventura movies, Liar Liar, The Truman Show, Me Myself and Irene, and the Grinch, all of which I enjoyed thoroughly. I've spent quite a few hours watching his old comedy skits from In Living Color. 

All that said though, I haven't really watched anything he's made since the above-mentioned movies. I think the most recent of those is probably like what, the year 2000? Not a good look. He seems a little batshit insane in real life too, but that's only based off of a few late-night youtube clips I've watched. All in all, he's an entertainer, and he really appealed to me in my younger, even more immature days. 

For those memories, and countless quotes that he's provided my friends and I, I can't give Jim Carrey anything less than the following, even if he probably deserves one or two ratings lower.

:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly / 5


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## CALΔMITY (Sep 25, 2012)

:lol thanks ZOMBO


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## obby (May 19, 2009)

@Kobe

Review the Burger King mascot










Also review Jurassic Park The Lost World 

:kobe3


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## Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jan 28, 2010)

obby said:


> @Kobe
> 
> Review the Burger King mascot


I was a big fan of the BK mascot since its inception. I found it equal parts funny, creepy, asinine, yet altogether amazing. If anything, the online memes that have been created using the mascot's iconic visage have only enhanced my childlike wonder and glee surrounding the mascot. I happily give the BK mascot

:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly / 5



> Also review Jurassic Park The Lost World
> 
> :kobe3


I saw it the second weekend it was out, and boy howdy I thought they did a tremendous job at re-capturing some of the "magic" that was present in the original movie which was sorely lacking in the previous 2 sequels. I was delighted by the frequent homages and references to the previous movies as well.

That said, if the original is a 5, this doesn't quite get there. However, it gets an unreserved:

:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly / 5


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## obby (May 19, 2009)

Review my dog


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## Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jan 28, 2010)

obby said:


> Review my dog


I am an unabashed dog person, so dogs get a default ranking of 4 to start. Now, it seems like a happy dog, coming right on up to the camera for a close-up. Being able to watch La Parka highlights on youtube all day every day has no doubt made him this way, so I gotta bump that rating for this reason. 

:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly / 5


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## Allur (Jan 17, 2012)

review this hobo's transformation from a hobo to a noble man


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## Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jan 28, 2010)

Allur said:


> review this hobo's transformation from a hobo to a noble man


Inspirational, but still needs to shave that neckbeard.

:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly / 5


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## witchblade000 (Apr 16, 2014)

Review this album, Reincarnate by Motionless In White


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## Buttermaker (Sep 29, 2009)

Please review the beer OV


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## Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jan 28, 2010)

witchblade000 said:


> Review this album, Reincarnate by Motionless In White


I probably would have enjoyed some of this music about 10 years ago, at least enough to warrant a 3 star review. However, in my old, mild-mannered age, I can give this drivel nothing but 

:chrisholly / 5



Takers Revenge said:


> Please review the beer OV


I refer you to this post, in which the images have expired but I believe I gave it a perfect 5 OV bottles out of 5: http://www.wrestlingforum.com/28472777-post157.html

So, take all of the comments from that post and give it an appropriate

:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly / 5


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## Blackbeard (Apr 23, 2014)

Zombo, could you please review the shots of David Bowie's crotch in Labyrinth?


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## Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jan 28, 2010)

Blackbeard said:


> Zombo, could you please review the shots of David Bowie's crotch in Labyrinth?


Takes a man's man to wear that outfit right there. Assuming no stuffing was going on, 

:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly / 5


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## Pratchett (Jan 9, 2013)

Zombo - plz review a hamburger with a fried egg on it.


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## A-C-P (Jan 5, 2010)

ZOMBO please review Ruka Ruka Ali's song about Canada


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## Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jan 28, 2010)

Pratchett said:


> Zombo - plz review a hamburger with a fried egg on it.


Putting eggs on things is weird. I have a buddy who has a pizza oven, and we frequently (maybe three times a year "frequently") go over there to make our own 'za. There's a group of us, and we'll end up making maybe 10-12 pizzas in total before the night is over. Inevitably, dude who owns the house makes a pizza with an egg cracked on it. It fucking sucks. 

However, egg seems like it'd be more complimentary with a burger. The meat, the ingredients can be downright omelet-esque. The bun can be like toast. All that stuff is complimentary in a way that pizza sauce and dough is not. So, although having not tried this, I'll give it a tentative:

:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly / 5



A-C-P said:


> ZOMBO please review Ruka Ruka Ali's song about Canada


I don't have volume at work, but I will operate under the assumption that the song is complimentary about Canada. I appreciate the images, particularly when the map of Canada is shown with major cities such as "Toronto, Ottawa, Edmonton, Calgary and Okanagan". Really chuckled at Okanagan.

:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly / 5


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## MOX (Dec 6, 2011)

pls review this request for a review pls


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## CALΔMITY (Sep 25, 2012)

Kobe said:


> Takes a man's man to wear that outfit right there. Assuming no stuffing was going on,
> 
> :chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly / 5


They say he didn't wear a cup. In one of his oldest movies, in a split second, you can see his dong. It's not small I'll say that.


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## Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jan 28, 2010)

Anark said:


> pls review this request for a review pls


Unoriginal, uninspired, unfunny, unctuous, unilateral, uninviting, unaware, unable, unnecessary, unpretentious, underneath.

:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly / 5


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## obby (May 19, 2009)

Review good ol JR :jr


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## Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jan 28, 2010)

obby said:


> Review good ol JR :jr


The best announcer in the biz, due in large part to his passion and his selling of the in-ring action. The voice I grew up with watching (aside from Tony Schiavone)( :side: ) Iconic. Legendary. There is only one Jim Ross.

:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly / 5


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## CALΔMITY (Sep 25, 2012)

Zombo, review the band Heart. Listening to them atm.


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## Vox Machina (May 22, 2014)

Zombo, review Shala.


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## MrMister (Mar 11, 2005)

I want to read the Heart review too.

Also ZOMBO pls review the amazing acting career of the great Lee Van Cleef pls.


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## Pronoss (Aug 20, 2014)

Review http://www.zombo.com
You can do anything there!


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## Obfuscation (Apr 15, 2006)

Zombo review Kansas City Chiefs player Frank Zombo.

also: review the annexation of Puerto Rico.


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## Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jan 28, 2010)

Cala♡;56277185 said:


> Zombo, review the band Heart. Listening to them atm.


Honestly never got into them much. I really only know their radio hits (Crazy On You, Barracuda, Magic Man, Alone) but I never really connected with their style for whatever reason. I can understand their commercial appeal, but they simply didn't do it for me. As such, I will likely disappoint you with my seemingly harsh but honest rating of

:chrisholly:chrisholly / 5



Vague Katti said:


> Zombo, review Shala.


I think I ran into this earlier on when this thread was BOOMING, wherein I really don't dislike any members and didn't want to get into rating individuals over and over by giving them a constant stream of 4 / 5 chrisholly's. As such, I will continue to enforce this policy, so just assume any member of this site receives at least a 4/5.



MrMister said:


> I want to read the Heart review too.
> 
> Also ZOMBO pls review the amazing acting career of the great Lee Van Cleef pls.


See above for Heart. And as for Lee Van Cleef, never heard of him nor have I seen any of the movies on his Wiki page. I'm sorry, MrMister. Also, hello.

:chrisholly:chrisholly / 5



Pronoss said:


> Review http://www.zombo.com
> You can do anything there!


Great website, has been brought to my attention many times and always leaves me satisfied.

:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly / 5



Obfuscation said:


> Zombo review Kansas City Chiefs player Frank Zombo.
> 
> also: review the annexation of Puerto Rico.


A middling linebacker with a great last name gets Frank Zombo 

:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly / 5

The annexation of Puerto Rico warms my heart with thoughts of the Little Giants. Also, it was a hell of a play that even impressed John Madden. Who am I to doubt it?

:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly / 5


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## obby (May 19, 2009)

Review the fact that you have never seen The Good The Bad and The Ugly


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## Captain Edd (Dec 14, 2011)

Buy a skype session with Sunny, review it afterwards. I dare you :sansa


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## MrMister (Mar 11, 2005)

Hello Zombo, please watch The Good the Bad and the Ugly and then review it ITT. You can also probably get away with reviewing Lee Van Cleef's acting career since he kinda just plays that same part almost all the time.


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## Yeah1993 (Nov 20, 2008)

was that burger reviews stuff seriously two years ago?


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## GOD OF CUNT (Jan 9, 2008)

REVIEW BURGER KING!


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## GOD OF CUNT (Jan 9, 2008)

I BET THAT'S NEVER BEEN DONE BEFORE!

Also review this dogshit '60 seconds between posts' rule.


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## Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jan 28, 2010)

obby said:


> Review the fact that you have never seen The Good The Bad and The Ugly


Disappointing, made even more so that I've let down @MrMister. I'm sorry MrMister. I am to rectify this one day, but for right now, I give myself

:chrisholly / 5



Captain Edd said:


> Buy a skype session with Sunny, review it afterwards. I dare you :sansa


You'd be putting me into dangerous waters there Captain Edd. Fortunately, I don't think I've used Skype in about 5-6 years (and only then for a school project), and I don't have PayPal or whatever the kids are using these days to pay for that kinda shit. I've dodged a bullet here.



MrMister said:


> Hello Zombo, please watch The Good the Bad and the Ugly and then review it ITT. You can also probably get away with reviewing Lee Van Cleef's acting career since he kinda just plays that same part almost all the time.


I will aim to rectify this in the somewhat nearish future and will return to this thread at the appropriate time.



Yeah1993 said:


> was that burger reviews stuff seriously two years ago?


Sadly, yes. I thought this thread had died peacefully then too. :hogan



Best Looking CUNT in Porn said:


> REVIEW BURGER KING!





Best Looking CUNT in Porn said:


> I BET THAT'S NEVER BEEN DONE BEFORE!
> 
> Also review this dogshit '60 seconds between posts' rule.


The only time I stop at Burger King within the last many years is to get that mean ol' ANGRY WHOPPER. I look forward to it so much when I hear it's come out again, like :mark: 

And don't get me wrong, the first half of eating it IS glorious. The second half becomes almost tedious. Then, there's the whole feeling of death inside my stomach afterwards. Not good. I have also found their fries have taken a downturn in recent years, and although I used to prefer their fries to McDonald's, I no longer do. 

Ultimately, BK gets a disappointing :chrisholly:chrisholly / 5

The 60 seconds between posts rule is an archaic annoyance for those of us who use the forum for important, salient posts (like the ones in this thread), but I understand that it would also be an annoyance / mild deterrent for spam posters who try to quickly escalate their post count before trying to start shit in Rants or the other sections that require so many posts. It's a good feeling knowing that a rejoiner or whatever has to waste an hour of his or her (we all know it's "his") life in order to make some shitty rant before getting banned. As such, I'll give the 60 second rule a begrudging

:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly / 5


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## Klee (Oct 28, 2011)

XUMBERG - Pls review "Making a murderer" that is on Netflix.


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## GOD OF CUNT (Jan 9, 2008)

I give you four Hollys for the use of the word salient. 

I then take two Hollys back for defending the 60 second rule in any way, shape or form, as my need to quickly post thoughts that are pure, unfiltered diesel should take precedence over some ragbag spam-merchant clogging up a thread about Roman Reigns' contact lenses. 

In short: strong effort, but the edit function is for children.


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## Blackbeard (Apr 23, 2014)

Zombo, could you please review Oxi's _Weep With the Oxman_ post?

http://www.wrestlingforum.com/rants/1887417-weep-oxman.html


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## Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jan 28, 2010)

KILLAH KLEE said:


> XUMBERG - Pls review "Making a murderer" that is on Netflix.


I don't have Netflix, and haven't paid any attention to this show in spite of it dominating the homepages of various websites. So, for this minor inconvenience in my web browsing, I give it

:chrisholly / 5



Blackbeard said:


> Zombo, could you please review Oxi's _Weep With the Oxman_ post?
> 
> http://www.wrestlingforum.com/rants/1887417-weep-oxman.html


Negative :deandre:deandre:deandre:deandre:deandre / 5


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## obby (May 19, 2009)

Review Magic :mj


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## Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jan 28, 2010)

obby said:


> Review Magic :mj


I've always enjoyed a proper magic trick, where even the most jaded and pessimistic watcher can be awed by something "impossible" happening before his or her eyes. There's almost a childlike quality associated with this feeling of being stunned and unable to fully explain how something happened. Live shows are pretty special as well, and the few that I've been to as an adult have left me generally feeling quite wowed and entertained. Also, monkeys:






:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly / 5


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## Blackbeard (Apr 23, 2014)

Zombo, can you please review Jeff Goldblum?


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## Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jan 28, 2010)

Blackbeard said:


> Zombo, can you please review Jeff Goldblum?


I mean, my username has been Dr. Ian Malcolm on here several times. Was also dope in Independence Day - hero of the movie. This is a rare one where I bust out the extremely deserved but almost never seen:

:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly / 5


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## Ruth (Apr 18, 2010)

review this little ep. she's from canadia.

http://cheaimeedorval.bandcamp.com


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## Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jan 28, 2010)

[Temporary Christmas Name] said:


> review this little ep. she's from canadia.
> 
> http://cheaimeedorval.bandcamp.com


Listened to the free track available there. Enh, not my style of music, but she has a good voice. Like a more powerful, soulful version of Canada's own Sarah McLachlan (whose music also didn't do much for me). 

As such, although I respect her talents, I give a firm

:chrisholly:chrisholly / 5


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## obby (May 19, 2009)

Review your next door neighbours.


----------



## Vox Machina (May 22, 2014)

Review my debate for the current TDL card.

:chrisholly


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## KingRegal (May 23, 2015)

Can you please review the quality of posts by user NaomisButtisLife? If not then let's see you review a bottle of Crystal Pepsi in The style of Ashens ??


----------



## Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jan 28, 2010)

obby said:


> Review your next door neighbours.


I only have one neighbour as I live on a corner lot. Divorced mother and her two kids. They keep to themselves for the most part, and don't interfere in my life in any way. We exchange brief pleasantries when we see each other in proper Canadian neighbourly fashion, and then return about our business. I couldn't ask for much more.

:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly / 5



Vague Katti said:


> Review my debate for the current TDL card.
> 
> :chrisholly


I will when the card is posted. 

:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly / 5



KingRegal said:


> Can you please review the quality of posts by user NaomisButtisLife? If not then let's see you review a bottle of Crystal Pepsi in The style of Ashens ??


I don't know what the second half means so I'll review the first portion of your request. I'm not going to search the user but I believe I've seen some of his posts before in the General section and perhaps even Rants, and I believe it was unentertaining drivel. As such, I give a stern:

:chrisholly / 5


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## Captain Edd (Dec 14, 2011)

Breakfast: Cereal, bananas, two apples and coffee
Lunch: Fish, spinach, potatoes 
Dinner: Chicken, rice, beer

Review my food intake for today ositivity


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## Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jan 28, 2010)

Captain Edd said:


> Breakfast: Cereal, bananas, two apples and coffee
> Lunch: Fish, spinach, potatoes
> Dinner: Chicken, rice, beer
> 
> Review my food intake for today ositivity


That's a solid, productive day. I'd add a cupcake or some chips in there for good measure, maybe some water too. Hydration is key.

:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly / 5


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## Captain Edd (Dec 14, 2011)

Kobe said:


> That's a solid, productive day. I'd add a cupcake or some chips in there for good measure, maybe some water too. Hydration is key.
> 
> :chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly / 5


I drink 2-3 bottles of water every day, thats my secret to avoid hangovers. I haven't had one in three years because of this amazing trick ositivity


----------



## obby (May 19, 2009)

Review James Joyce :mj


----------



## Banez (Dec 18, 2012)

Review the Starcraft II storyline


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## Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jan 28, 2010)

obby said:


> Review James Joyce :mj


One of my favourite writers, and someone who I studied with great interest while doing both my undergrad and Masters in English Language and Literature. Extremely challenging, but extremely rewarding. I still have yet to read Ulysses, which will be a daunting mountain to climb but one I fully intend to climb in my future. Meanwhile, Dubliners, Portrait and Finnegan's Wake have left me with nothing but awe and respect for my man Joyce's talents. 

:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly / 5



Banez said:


> Review the Starcraft II storyline


I've only done 1 of the ?? number of Epilogue missions, so the story isn't quite "over" for me yet. That said, with respect to the main campaign, I found it fairly predictable, ripe with more than a couple plotholes and perhaps unnecessarily convoluted at times. Still, I'm a sucker for StarCraft lore - I was one of those nerds who bought all of the StarCraft novels - and even an objectively "weak" storyline will still draw me in and bring me off to a place of happiness. Also, Protoss has been my favourite race since the original game, so ending on the Legacy of the Void note was sweet for me. I give the story an incredibly biased and probably overrated-but-not-to-me rating of

:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly / 5


----------



## Reaper (Sep 4, 2013)

Review your first review in this thread.


----------



## Blackbeard (Apr 23, 2014)

Please review Donald Trump's presidential campaign run.


----------



## Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jan 28, 2010)

Reaper said:


> Review your first review in this thread.


Any time I get to revisit an opportunity to think about delicious Timbits is a good time in my opinion. I think that I might have made the review of Tim Hortons, generally, at a time where I was recently sated with said Timbits. Because although they are in fact glorious, my recent Timmy's experiences have been somewhat conflicting. 

On one hand, the last time I went to the local Timmy's, I was very much looking forward to trying a new Thai chicken wrap and spicy Thai soup, only to find out that NEITHER WAS AVAILABLE that night (it was like 6pm on a Wednesday!). So, I went to ol' reliable and asked for the CHILI, only to be told that they were out of the chili too!

:CENA

That's some bullshit right there. However, I've also since tried some of their tea selections, and they do a good job on that end of things. All things considered, I can't fault Timmy's as a whole based on the ineptitude of one location. As such, I think my rating was accurate and review was fair from that original review. I rate my review a sparkling

:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly / 5



Blackbeard said:


> Please review Donald Trump's presidential campaign run.


I don't really follow politics all that much, but The Donald's face on Yahoo's homepage has made him inescapable this campaign season. He's loud, brash, and isn't afraid to appeal to the lowest common denominators of American society (read: overt racists). However, those jackasses have a right to vote too, and there is just as many stupid people who will fall in line to support this guy just for "tellin' it like it is!"

The fact that he has zero political experience and is the ACTUAL FAVOURITE THIS FAR INTO THE PROCESS TO LEAD HIS PARTY when it started out as something everyone presumed was a farce speaks to some level of success for his campaign and the strategy therein. I can't say that the campaign, then, for such an inexperienced and probably unqualified candidate, is anything BUT a smashing success.

:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly:chrisholly / 5


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## Allur (Jan 17, 2012)

pls review this song


----------

